What It’s Like to Be a Woman on the Spectrum

Table of Content

Intro

The Masking Game

Misdiagnosis, Late Diagnosis, and Why It Matters

Sensory Overload in a Woman’s World

Identity, Culture, and Womanhood on the Spectrum

Sensory Overload in a Woman’s World

Closing Thoughts

What It’s Like to Be a Woman on the Spectrum

Most people look at me and think I have it all together. I’m calm, I listen well, I work as a therapist, and I can hold a good conversation. On the outside, I look like I’m fine.

But what people don’t see is the constant effort it takes to “keep it together.” They don’t see how loud the world feels to me, how long it takes to recover after social events, or how hard I try to figure out what people really mean when they say something.

For a long time, I didn’t even know I was autistic. I just thought I was “too sensitive” or “too quiet” or “too weird.” And I heard that from others, too. The truth is, autism in women doesn’t always look like what people expect. That’s why so many of us go undiagnosed or misunderstood for years.

In this blogpost, I want to talk about what it’s really like to be a woman on the spectrum. I’ll share some personal stories and things I wish more people understood. 

Let’s talk about it, honestly.

The Masking Game

Masking is a word used to describe how many autistic women try to hide their true feelings and behaviors to fit in. It means acting in a way that seems normal to others, even if it doesn’t feel natural inside. Many women on the spectrum learn to do this because they want to avoid standing out or being misunderstood. It can feel like putting on a mask to get through the day.

In Dropped in a Maze, I share how this kind of hiding became a part of my life. It wasn’t something I planned—it just happened over time as I tried to figure out how to belong. Masking can help people blend in, but it also takes a lot of energy. It can leave you feeling tired and unsure of who you really are underneath it all. Learning about autism helped me understand why I felt this way. It gave me the courage to start being more myself, even if that means showing my true colors bit by bit. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Being myself is something I’m no longer afraid of.

Misdiagnosis, Late Diagnosis, and Why It Matters

Do you know that studies show the ratio of autistic males to females ranges from 2:1 to as high as 16:1? The most recent estimate is around 3:1. Even back in 1943, Leo Kanner's early research found four times as many boys as girls. This isn’t because fewer women are autistic — it’s because so many go undiagnosed or are misdiagnosed for years.

For many women, autism goes unnoticed for years. It often shows up in quiet ways, and because of that, people don’t always see it. Teachers, doctors, and even family members may miss the signs. Instead of getting support, girls and women are often told they are just shy, too quiet, or “overly sensitive.”

That’s what happened to me.

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. For a long time, I knew something felt different, but I didn’t have the words for it. I just kept going, trying to figure things out on my own.

In my book Dropped in a Maze, I talk about the moment I finally got my diagnosis. It was a mix of emotions. I felt relief because it explained so much. But I also felt sad thinking about all the years I spent not knowing.

Getting a diagnosis later in life doesn’t erase the struggles, but it helps you understand them. It helps you understand yourself. And for me, that changed everything.

Sensory Overload in a Woman’s World

Being a woman already comes with a lot of expectations. Be polite. Dress nicely. Keep up with conversations. Make eye contact. Smile. Now add autism to that.

For many of us on the spectrum, those expectations feel extra heavy. Things like fashion, socialising, and even relationships can be hard to manage not because we don’t care, but because they can be overstimulating. Sounds, smells, textures, too much talking, it builds up fast.

What feels “normal” to others can feel overwhelming to us. That’s how it often feels — like the world was designed with a script we didn’t get. The more I’ve learned about my autism, the more I’ve been able to give myself permission to do things my way. I don’t have to perform. I just have to be honest with myself

Identity, Culture, and Womanhood on the Spectrum

Being a woman on the spectrum is already complex. But when you add culture, gender roles, and race, it becomes even harder to navigate. In some cultures, speaking up, showing emotions, or being different isn’t always accepted. You’re expected to act a certain way, especially as a woman. You're expected to keep things together, not question too much, and always think of others first.

This can make it even harder to recognise autism or feel safe enough to talk about it. You end up hiding parts of yourself just to meet expectations that were never made for you in the first place.

In Dropped in a Maze, I share how my cultural background shaped the way I saw myself. I didn’t just feel different. I felt like I had to work even harder to seem “normal” in a world that didn’t leave space for someone like me.

It took time to realise that I wasn’t broken — I just needed to understand myself better.

The Strength in Self-Discovery

Getting my diagnosis didn’t magically fix everything, but it gave me a starting point. For the first time, I understood why I struggled with certain things. I stopped blaming myself for being “too much” or “not enough.”

That understanding brought peace.

Writing Dropped in a Maze helped me look at my life through a new lens. I saw patterns, I connected the dots, and I started accepting the parts of me I used to hide. This book is personal, but it’s not just for me. It’s for anyone who has ever felt out of place. It’s for people who’ve gone through life feeling different but never really knowing why.

If that sounds like you, I hope my story helps you feel seen.

Click here to order Dropped in a Maze

Closing Thoughts

If you’re reading this and some of it feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many women live with questions about themselves for years. It’s okay to feel unsure or confused. It’s okay to wonder if you might be on the spectrum. The truth is, it’s never too late to learn more about who you are. Understanding yourself can bring relief and hope, no matter your age or where you are in life.

Autism is not a flaw. It’s a different way of seeing and experiencing the world. And that difference can be a strength. So, if you’ve read this far, thank you for listening. I hope my story helps you feel less alone and more understood. I’d love to hear your story too. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or send me an email.

Remember, if you want to learn more, you can buy Dropped in a Maze where I talk about life on the spectrum. You’re not alone on this journey. We’re in it together.

The 1-3-5 Rule of Emotion Coaching: A Simple Framework for Busy Parents

The 1-3-5 Rule of Emotion Coaching: A Simple Framework for Busy Parents

What Is the 1-3-5 Rule of Emotion Coaching?

Why Odd Numbers?

• 1 Goal: Build Emotional Connection

• 3 Steps: Recognize, Reflect, Respond

• 5 Minutes a Day: That’s All It Takes

Common Challenges (and Quick Fixes)

Take It Further: The 30-Day Challenge

Final Thoughts

The 1-3-5 Rule of Emotion Coaching: A Simple Framework for Busy Parents

 I get it—you're a parent juggling work, chores, school runs, and the emotional ups and downs of raising a child. You want to teach your kids how to handle big feelings, but let’s be honest: some days, even getting through bedtime without a meltdown feels like a win.

That’s why I created the 1-3-5 Rule of Emotion Coaching—a simple, repeatable system designed specifically for busy parents who want to raise emotionally intelligent kids but don’t have hours to spare.

With just 1 clear goal, 3 simple steps, and 5 minutes a day, you can build stronger emotional bonds and help your child understand, express, and regulate their feelings.

In this post, I’ll walk you through the full framework—and if you want to take it a step further, I’ve included a special invite to join the 30-day challenge from my book, which helps you put the system into practice with ease.

Let’s get started.

What Is the 1-3-5 Rule of Emotion Coaching?

Let’s start with a simple truth: emotion coaching sounds great—but when you’re overwhelmed, it can feel like one more thing you’ll never get to. That’s why the 1-3-5 Rule exists. It’s not another parenting “to-do”—it’s a time-saving tool that helps you do what you already want to do: connect with your child and support their emotional development.

So, what exactly is the 1-3-5 Rule?

At its core, it’s a framework based on three odd numbers:

• 1 goal

• 3 steps

• 5 minutes a day

Why Odd Numbers?

Odd numbers stick in your brain. They’re easy to remember, create structure without being rigid, and feel manageable—especially when life is chaotic. More importantly, this rhythm encourages intentional consistency without overwhelming you.

Let’s break down what each part of the framework means:

1 Goal: Build Emotional Connection

This is your north star. Every time you apply the 1-3-5 rule, your aim isn’t to fix a problem, lecture, or control your child’s emotions—it’s simply to build connection. When children feel emotionally connected to you, they’re more likely to open up, regulate themselves, and trust your guidance.

Think of this like a daily deposit into your child’s “emotional bank account.” The more deposits you make, the more resilient and emotionally secure your child becomes—especially in tough moments.

3 Steps: Recognize, Reflect, Respond

These are your go-to actions. They help you move through emotional moments (big or small) with presence, patience, and purpose. Here’s what they look like:

Step 1: Recognize the Emotion

This step is all about observation. Tune into your child’s body language, tone of voice, or behavior and ask yourself:

“What might they be feeling right now?”

You’re not labeling or reacting yet—just noticing.

Example: Your child slams their backpack on the floor after school. Instead of jumping in with, “What’s your problem?” you pause and think, “They seem overwhelmed. Let me slow this down.”

Step 2: Reflect It Back

Once you’ve noticed the emotion, say what you see or sense. This helps your child feel seen and gives them the language to understand their own feelings.

Example:

“It seems like you’re feeling frustrated about something. Want to talk about it?”

This isn’t about getting it perfectly right—it’s about creating a safe space for emotions to be acknowledged.

Step 3: Respond with Support

Now that the emotion is named, your job is to support, not solve. This could mean helping your child find a way to cope, offering comfort, or just sitting with them.

Example:

“Do you want a quiet minute before we talk? Or maybe we can go outside and get some air.”

The goal is not to remove the feeling but to help your child move through it with your guidance.

5 Minutes a Day: That’s All It Takes

You don’t need a long talk or a dramatic moment to use this rule. Just 5 minutes of intentional emotion coaching a day—before bed, after school, or during a quick walk—can make a lasting difference.

This could look like:

• A check-in on the drive home: “What was the best and hardest part of your day?”

• A bedtime reflection: “How are you feeling tonight?”

• A moment of validation when they seem off: “You look kind of down—want to talk or just sit together for a minute?”

And if you miss a day? That’s okay. The beauty of the 1-3-5 Rule is that it’s simple enough to return to anytime. No guilt. No pressure. Just consistency, over time.

Coming up next: I’ll walk you through how each step works in real-life parenting moments—and how to overcome common roadblocks. But first, remember this:

One goal. Three steps. Five minutes a day. That’s the heartbeat of emotional connection.

Common Challenges (and Quick Fixes)

Even with a simple system like the 1-3-5 Rule, real life doesn’t always follow the script. Your child might resist, you might feel emotionally drained, or the moment might not seem “right.” That’s okay. These challenges are common—and they don’t mean the framework isn’t working.

Let’s look at a few real-world obstacles and how to gently navigate them.

“I Don’t Have Time”

The Challenge: You're rushing from one task to the next, and emotion coaching feels like a luxury you can’t afford right now.

Quick Fix:

Integrate it into what you're already doing.

• Use transition times: while brushing teeth, driving, waiting in line.

• Pick a consistent 5-minute window (e.g., right after school or before bed).

• Think quality, not quantity—one thoughtful check-in is more powerful than a full conversation on autopilot.

Reminder:

This isn’t about adding pressure. It’s about using small windows to make big connections.

“My Child Doesn’t Open Up”

The Challenge: You ask how they feel, and they shrug. Or say “fine.” Or roll their eyes.

Quick Fix:

Don’t start with questions. Start with observations or curiosity.

• “You’ve been really quiet since you got home. Tough day?”

• “I noticed you slammed the door—want to sit with me for a bit?”

• Use playful moments or shared activities (drawing, Lego, cooking) to open the door to deeper conversations.

Kids open up when they feel safe, not when they feel pressured. Your consistent presence builds that safety.

“I’m Too Emotionally Tired to Coach”

The Challenge: Some days, you are the one running on empty. Emotion coaching feels like one more thing to get right.

Quick Fix:

Keep it simple. Some days, all you need is:

• A warm glance

• A validating sentence: “I hear you. That was a lot.”

• Physical comfort: a hug, sitting nearby, rubbing their back.

You’re allowed to show your emotions too. Say:

“I’m feeling tired today, but I’m here for you. Let’s take it slow together.”

Being honest models emotional awareness and shows your child that emotional regulation is a lifelong skill—not a perfect performance.

“I Messed Up and Reacted Harshly”

The Challenge: You snapped. You yelled. You ignored the steps. Now you feel guilty.

Quick Fix: Repair the moment. That’s also emotion coaching.

• “I’m sorry I raised my voice. I was overwhelmed and didn’t handle that well.”

• “Can we rewind and try again? I want to understand how you’re feeling.”

Apologizing and reconnecting teaches your child that it’s okay to make mistakes—and powerful to make amends.

“It Feels Awkward or Forced”

The Challenge: You’re new to this, and emotional language doesn’t come naturally. It feels scripted or clunky.

Quick Fix:

Start with just one part. For example:

• Focus only on recognizing the emotion for a few days.

• Or try reflecting it back without needing a full conversation.

• Use phrases like:

• “Looks like you’re feeling…”

• “That must’ve been hard…”

• “Want to tell me more?”

The more you practice, the more natural it feels—and the more your child begins to mirror the language back to you.

Just so you know, you’re going to miss days. Say the wrong thing. Get tired. Feel like you’re not doing it right.

That’s not failure. That’s parenting.

The 1-3-5 Rule isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. Returning, daily, in small but meaningful ways.

Take It Further: The 30-Day Challenge

If you’ve made it this far, one thing is clear: you care deeply about your child’s emotional wellbeing—and you want tools that actually fit into your real life.

That’s exactly why I why I wrote my book: “Dropped by a Maze”

Because once you’ve seen how powerful 5 intentional minutes can be… you start wondering what 30 days of practice could do.

What’s the 30-Day Challenge?

Inside the book, you’ll find a simple but transformative roadmap designed for busy, tired, wonderful parents like you. The challenge is built around three goals:

1. Consistency – Show up for 5 minutes each day using the 1-3-5 framework.

2. Connection – Strengthen your emotional bond with your child through tiny, daily moments.

3. Confidence – Grow your emotional coaching skills without overwhelm or guilt.

Each day includes:

• A short, encouraging prompt

• A practical example or script you can use immediately

• Space for reflection (yes, even 60 seconds counts.)

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to show up.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been waiting for a parenting tool that actually fits into your real life—here it is.

The 1-3-5 Rule isn’t magic. It’s just simple enough to actually stick. One goal. Three steps. Five minutes a day. That’s all it takes to start showing up differently for your child—without guilt, pressure, or needing to be perfect.

And if you’re thinking, “I want to keep this going, but I could use a little structure…”

That’s exactly why I wrote Dropped by a Maze. It includes a full 30-day challenge, with easy prompts, short examples, and real encouragement to help you stay consistent (even when life is messy).

And if you want more hands-on support, I offer private coaching sessions where we work through your specific parenting challenges together—judgment-free and step by step.

Because emotion coaching doesn’t have to be complicated.

It just has to be daily.

And it starts with showing up—for five minutes.

Emotion Coaching Certification vs. Self-Study

Table of content

Intro

What is Emotion Coaching And Why It Matters

Why Emotion Coaching Is So Important Today

Path One: Emotion Coaching Certification

• Pros of Emotion Coaching Certification

• Cons of Emotion Coaching Certification

Sonia’s Emotion Coaching Program

• Who Is This For?

Path Two: Self-Study in Emotion Coaching

• Pros of Self-Study

• Cons of Self-Study

How to Make the Most of Self-Study

Which Path Is Right for You?

Why Sonia’s Book is the Best Starting Point

Conclusion

Emotion Coaching Certification vs. Self-Study

Many aspiring coaches face this dilemma: Should I get certified, or can I figure it out on my own?

But here’s the thing: there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people prefer to go the self-study route, learning from books, podcasts, or online content at their own pace. Others want a step-by-step framework, feedback from experts, and a clear path to becoming a professional emotional coach.

However, to make decision making easier for you, that’s where this blog post comes in. We’ll break down the pros and cons of both paths—emotion coaching certification vs. self-study—so you can make the right choice for your goals, lifestyle, and learning style.

So let’s get started.

What is Emotion Coaching—And Why It Matters

Before we compare your learning options, let’s make sure we understand what emotion coaching really is.

Emotion coaching is the practice of helping people understand, process, and manage their emotions in healthy, productive ways. It’s not about “fixing” someone or giving advice—it’s about creating a safe space where people feel seen, heard, and supported as they navigate emotional challenges.

At its core, emotion coaching teaches people to:

• Recognize what they’re feeling

• Understand why they’re feeling it

• Express emotions without shame or fear

• Develop coping tools for stress, anger, sadness, and anxiety

• Build healthier relationships through empathy and communication

Why Emotion Coaching Is So Important Today

We live in a world that moves fast. People are stressed, overwhelmed, and emotionally disconnected—from themselves and from each other. Many of us grew up without the tools to name our emotions or handle conflict in healthy ways. That’s where emotion coaching makes a huge difference.

It helps:

• Parents raise emotionally aware children

• Leaders connect with their teams with empathy

• Coaches and therapists support clients with compassion and clarity

• Everyday people feel more in control of their emotional lives

Emotion coaching isn’t just for professionals—it’s for anyone who wants to improve how they show up for themselves and others. But if you’re thinking about turning this into a career or offering it as a service, you’ll likely ask:

“Should I learn on my own, or should I get certified?”

That’s exactly what we’re about to explore in the next section.

Path One: Emotion Coaching Certification

Getting an emotion coaching certification means taking a guided, professional approach to becoming a coach. Instead of figuring things out on your own, you join a structured program that teaches you step-by-step how to help others understand, manage, and grow through their emotions.

This path is perfect if you’re serious about becoming a coach or want to support others on a deeper emotional level. Let’s look at the benefits and challenges.

Pros of Emotion Coaching Certification

1. A Clear and Structured Learning Path

When you sign up for a certification program, everything you need to learn is organized for you. You don’t have to waste time wondering what to study next or if you're missing something important. Each lesson builds on the last, helping you grow steadily and confidently. This is especially helpful if you like having a clear direction and plan to follow.

2. Builds Credibility and Client Trust

A certification shows people that you’ve been trained and know what you’re doing. It gives your coaching business more professionalism. Clients feel safer and more confident when they know you’ve been certified, especially if they’re trusting you with their emotional challenges.

3. Mentorship and Personalized Feedback

One of the biggest advantages of certification is the access to experienced teachers and mentors. These are people who’ve been coaching for years and can guide you. They give you personal feedback on your practice sessions, help you avoid common mistakes, and answer your questions as you go. This type of support can be life-changing and is something self-study often lacks.

4. Join a Supportive Community

Being part of a certification program like Sonia’s usually means being part of a group of like-minded learners. You get to connect with other students, share your struggles and wins, practice together, and even form lasting friendships. This kind of community support helps you stay motivated and feel less alone on your journey.

Cons of Emotion Coaching Certification

1. It Can Be Expensive

Certification programs are an investment. You’re paying for expert teaching, materials, feedback, and a proven system. While the price can be high up front, it’s often worth it in the long run. Still, this is something to think about, especially if you’re on a budget.

2. It Takes Time

You can’t rush the process. Most programs take several weeks or months to complete. You’ll need to set aside time for live classes, reading, practice, and homework. It’s doable, but you’ll need to stay committed.

3. Not All Programs Are Worth It

There are many emotion coaching programs out there, and some are better than others. Some are just surface-level, while others are deep, powerful, and truly transformational. It’s important to choose a program that’s both emotionally rich and professionally respected.

And that brings us to one that stands out…

Sonia’s Emotion Coaching Program

If you’re looking for a high-quality program that goes deeper than most, Sonia’s Emotion Coaching Certification is one to seriously consider.

What makes it different?

Sonia’s program is built around the belief that coaching should be both heart-centered and grounded in real-life tools. It doesn’t just teach techniques—it helps you become the kind of coach people can truly trust.

Here’s what you’ll get inside the program:

• A gentle, structured curriculum that teaches you emotional awareness, coaching tools, and trauma-informed support.

• Weekly live calls and personal mentorship, so you’re never learning alone.

• Practice sessions where you can coach and be coached, building real-life confidence

• Support on how to start or grow your coaching business after certification

• A safe, kind community of learners who are growing with you

What others are saying:

“Sonia’s course gave me the tools to coach others—but it also helped me understand my own emotions better. I feel more grounded, confident, and connected.” – Former student

Who Is This For?

Sonia’s program is for people who care deeply about emotional growth—for themselves and for others. Whether you want to start coaching, add new tools to your current work, or simply grow as a human being, this certification gives you the foundation and guidance to do it with confidence.

It’s especially great for:

• Aspiring coaches who want a clear, supportive path

• Therapists-in-training looking to deepen their emotional tools

• Personal growth lovers (aka self-growth junkies.) who want to do meaningful work

• Anyone who wants to help others in a real, lasting way

Still unsure? You don’t have to decide right away.

If you're at the beginning of your journey, my book is the perfect starting point—get certified with confidence. It lays the groundwork and helps you decide if certification is right for you.

Path Two: Self-Study in Emotion Coaching

If you're curious about emotion coaching but not ready to invest in a certification program yet, self-study might feel like a good place to start. It’s more flexible, less expensive, and gives you the freedom to learn at your own pace. Many great coaches begin their journey here—reading books, watching videos, and trying things out on their own.

But while self-study can be empowering, it also comes with its own set of challenges.

Pros of Self-Study

1. Low (or No) Cost

One of the biggest benefits of self-study is that it’s affordable. You can read books, listen to podcasts, follow experts on social media, or take free online courses. If you're on a tight budget or just exploring coaching as a new interest, this is a smart place to begin.

2. Flexible and Self-Paced

Self-study means you’re in control. You choose what to learn, when to learn, and how deeply to go. This flexibility is perfect for people with busy schedules or those who learn better outside traditional classrooms.

3. Encourages Curiosity and Personal Growth

Learning on your own pushes you to ask questions, search for answers, and reflect deeply. Many people who self-study become more self-aware and emotionally intelligent in the process—even before they ever coach someone else.

4. Great First Step if You're Unsure

If you’re not yet ready to commit to a full certification program, self-study helps you test the waters. You can explore emotion coaching concepts and see if this path truly excites you before making a bigger investment.

Cons of Self-Study

1. Lack of Structure

Without a roadmap, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. You might jump from topic to topic or miss key concepts that certified programs would cover. It can take longer to build a solid foundation without clear guidance.

2. No Feedback or Mentorship

One of the most important parts of becoming a great coach is getting feedback on your coaching. When you’re learning alone, it’s hard to know if you’re doing it right—or if you’re accidentally reinforcing bad habits.

3. Risk of Shallow Learning

You might pick up surface-level tips or quotes that sound nice, but deep emotion coaching requires real inner work and practice. It’s hard to build confidence when you haven’t applied the tools in real situations with real people.

4. No Professional Credential

Even if you read every book and watch every video, self-study doesn’t give you a certification. And in a competitive market, that can make it harder to build trust with clients or get hired by coaching platforms.

How to Make the Most of Self-Study

If you choose the self-study path (at least for now), here’s how to get the most out of it:

• Start with a trusted resource. Not all information online is reliable. Sonia’s book is a great starting point because it lays the foundation for emotion coaching in a way that’s practical, honest, and deeply supportive.

• Create a learning plan. List out topics you want to study—like emotional regulation, active listening, boundaries, and trauma-informed care. Set a schedule to help you stay consistent.

• Practice with people you trust. Try out what you’re learning in real conversations. Journal your experiences. Reflect often.

• Look for opportunities to connect. Join online groups, comment on coaching forums, or find peer support. Even in self-study, connection is important.

• Stay open to growth. Many people start with self-study and then decide to go deeper with certification later. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. In fact, both can work beautifully together.

Self-study is a good beginning. It shows you’re curious, driven, and willing to grow. But if you ever feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your progress, don’t be afraid to take the next step.

That’s where a program like Sonia’s Emotion Coaching Certification can help—giving you structure, support, and the confidence to coach others in a real, lasting way.

Which Path Is Right for You?

Let’s be honest, choosing between getting certified and going the self-study route isn’t always easy. They both have benefits, and each path can lead to meaningful growth.

But the best choice really depends on you. Let’s walk through a few important questions to help you figure it out.

Ask Yourself These Questions:

1. What are your goals right now?

Are you doing this because you want to understand yourself better, improve your relationships, and become more emotionally aware?

• If yes, self-study is a great place to begin. You can take your time, explore, and focus on your own growth.

Or… are you dreaming of becoming a coach? Maybe you want to help others process emotions, heal, or navigate life with more confidence.

• If so, an emotion coaching certification will give you the tools, structure, and professional edge to coach others with confidence.

  2. How do you like to learn?

Some people do best when they have a clear plan, a supportive teacher, and a step-by-step path.

• If that’s you, a certification program will help you stay focused and motivated. It also gives you feedback, which is so important when you’re learning something this deep and personal.

Other people love to learn by exploring, reading, and figuring things out as they go.

• If you enjoy your freedom, self-study might be a better fit for now. Just make sure you’re being honest with yourself—sometimes we call it “freedom,” but it’s really just fear of commitment or a lack of confidence.

  3. What’s your vision for the future?

• Do you want to be a certified coach who gets paid to help others?

• Or do you simply want to become more emotionally aware and support the people around you?

If coaching is a career path you’re seriously considering, certification is the best next step. 

If you’re exploring emotional work for yourself, starting with a book or free resources is a gentle, low-pressure way to begin.

Quick Checklist

Check all that apply to you:

• I want to coach others professionally

• I feel more motivated with guidance and accountability

• I want to build trust with clients through a professional credential

• I want a clear path to follow instead of guessing what to do next

If you checked most of these, certification is probably the right choice.

• I’m exploring emotion coaching for personal growth

• I prefer to learn on my own, at my own pace

• I’m not ready to commit financially just yet

• I’m still figuring out if coaching is right for me

If these sound like you, self-study may be a better starting point.

But here’s the thing: You don’t have to figure it all out right now. You can take one small step to get clarity—and that step is Sonia’s book.

Why Sonia’s Book is the Best Starting Point

If you're feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or torn between both paths… start with the book.

Sonia wrote it with people just like you in mind—curious, thoughtful learners who want to explore emotion coaching but don’t know where to begin.

What You’ll Learn from the Book:

• What emotion coaching really means (without the confusing jargon).

• Practical tools to use in your own life—right away.

• Real stories and insights that make emotional concepts easy to understand.

• A gentle but clear picture of what it takes to become a coach.

• How to know if coaching is truly the right path for you.

Whether you’re a complete beginner or someone who’s already exploring coaching, Sonia’s book gives you a grounded, inspiring foundation.

Conclusion

Whether you’re leaning toward getting certified or exploring emotion coaching on your own, one thing is clear—emotion coaching is more than a trend. With interest growing rapidly (100% growth and counting.), more people are realizing how powerful this work can be—both personally and professionally.

But no matter where you’re starting from, you don’t have to rush your decision. In fact, the best decisions come when you’re informed, clear, and confident.

That’s exactly why Sonia wrote her book. Think of it as your roadmap. You’ll learn what emotion coaching really is, why it matters, and whether certification is the right next step for you.

5 Emotion Coaching Mistakes Parents Make

Table of content

Intro

• Jumping to Solve Instead of Listening

• Dismissing Small Feelings

• Over-Explaining Instead of Empathizing

• Avoiding Their Own Emotions in Front of Kids

• Expecting Perfection

How to Tell if You’re Falling Into These Mistakes

What to Do Next

FAQS

5 Emotion Coaching Mistakes Parents Make

Parenting is one of the toughest and most rewarding jobs in the world. Even the most thoughtful, loving parents can find themselves struggling when it comes to handling their child’s big emotions. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I doing this right?” you’re not alone.

That’s where emotion coaching comes in. Emotion coaching is a way of parenting that helps children understand, express, and manage their feelings in a healthy way. It’s not about ignoring emotions or trying to “fix” them quickly—it’s about teaching kids that their feelings are okay and guiding them through tough moments with empathy and support.

But here’s the thing: even with the best intentions, it’s easy to fall into certain traps. Sometimes, without realizing it, we say or do things that shut down emotions instead of helping our kids work through them. And that’s okay—because emotion coaching is a skill we can all learn and improve.

In this blogpost, we’ll explore five common mistakes that even smart, caring parents make when trying to emotionally coach their kids. More importantly, I’ll show you simple ways to turn these habits around so you can build deeper connections and trust.

Mistake: Jumping to Solve Instead of Listening

Let’s start with one of the most common habits: jumping straight into problem-solving. Imagine your child comes home from school and says, “Nobody likes me.” It’s painful to hear, right? Naturally, you want to make them feel better right away, so you respond with something like, “That’s not true. You have lots of friends.”

But here’s the problem. Even though you’re trying to comfort them, your child might feel like you’re brushing off their feelings. They’re not ready to hear solutions yet—they just want to be heard. When we rush to fix, we accidentally skip over the important step of letting them sit with and name their feelings.

Instead of immediately correcting or solving, try pausing and reflecting their emotions back to them. You could say, “That sounds really lonely. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.” This shows your child that their feelings are valid, and that you’re standing with them in the tough moment.

Once they feel heard and calmer, then you can gently guide them toward problem-solving if they’re ready. Emotion coaching is about building that bridge first—listening before leading. Want to sidestep this kind of emotional blind spot? My coaching program will guide you through it. 

Mistake: Dismissing Small Feelings

It’s easy to brush off what feels minor to us as adults. Maybe your child is crying because their block tower fell. Or they’re furious because bedtime came “too soon.” You might find yourself saying, “It’s not that big of a deal” or “Come on, you’ll be fine.”

But here’s the problem: small moments matter. Every time we dismiss a small feeling, we teach kids that some emotions aren’t worth paying attention to. Over time, they might stop sharing—or worse, start feeling ashamed for getting upset.

This is something I’ve seen over and over in my coaching work, and it’s why I dedicated a whole section in my book to this exact mistake. I even include practical emotion coaching scripts you can use in those small-but-important moments, because knowing what to say can feel tricky.

Instead of brushing it off, try pausing and validating. You could simply say, “I see how upset you are about this. It’s okay to feel that way.” Sometimes, naming the feeling is all it takes to help them feel seen and start calming down.

Mistake: Over-Explaining Instead of Empathizing

This one’s sneaky because it comes from a place of love. Imagine your child is angry because you’re leaving the park. You launch into explaining: “We’ve been here two hours. We have to get home. Dinner’s waiting.” But instead of calming down, they get louder.

Here’s why: when emotions are high, explanations don’t land. Their brain isn’t in listening mode; it’s flooded with feelings. Talking too much in that moment can feel overwhelming or even make them feel unheard.

A much more effective approach is to pause the explanation and lean into empathy first. A simple “I know leaving feels really hard right now” connects with their emotional state. Then, once they’ve settled, you can revisit the explanation.

If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—my book shows exactly how to handle it. I share sample phrases you can use to shift from lecture mode to empathy mode, without feeling like you’re giving up your boundaries. The key is remembering: empathy opens the door. Explanation can wait until the door is open.

Mistake: Avoiding Their Own Emotions in Front of Kids

A lot of parents feel like they need to stay strong, calm, and in control all the time. Maybe you’ve caught yourself saying “I’m fine” when you’re really upset, or holding back tears because you didn’t want to “burden” your child. It comes from love—you want to protect them.

But here’s the catch: kids learn emotional skills by watching us. If we always hide our emotions, they miss out on seeing how to handle feelings in a healthy way. Instead, emotions start to feel mysterious or even scary.

That’s why, in Dropped by a Maze, I emphasize the power of showing emotions with balance. You don’t need to break down in front of your child, but letting them see you express feelings calmly and constructively teaches them it’s safe to feel. I even include examples of what that sounds like in everyday life.

For instance, instead of bottling it up, you might say: “I’m feeling a little frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath.” This models both honesty and self-regulation—powerful tools for them to copy.

Mistake: Expecting Perfection (Theirs or Their Child’s)

Have you ever felt like you should “get it right” every time? Or maybe you’ve hoped your child would quickly learn how to manage big feelings without meltdowns. It’s so common for caring parents to fall into the trap of perfection—without even realizing it.

But emotion coaching isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. When we expect ourselves or our kids to master emotions overnight, we unintentionally create pressure, shame, or fear of messing up. And ironically, that makes emotional growth harder.

There’s a smarter way to deal with this, and I explain it fully in my book. A simple mantra you can try: “We’re both learning. It’s okay to mess up and try again.” This normalizes mistakes—and turns them into opportunities instead of failures.

How to Tell if You’re Falling Into These Mistakes

Sometimes the signs are subtle. You may not realize you’re slipping into these habits because they often come from a place of love, habit, or even exhaustion. Here are a few gentle indicators:

• You feel a wave of frustration or panic every time your child has an emotional outburst.

• Your child rarely talks about their feelings unless prompted—or avoids emotional topics altogether.

• Emotional moments often escalate into arguments, power struggles, or shutdowns.

These are red flags, but not signs of failure. They’re invitations to pause, reflect, and adjust.

Take a moment to check in:

Do any of these feel familiar?

If so, you’re not alone. These patterns are incredibly common—even among thoughtful, intentional parents. The good news is, small shifts in how you respond can lead to powerful changes in how your child experiences connection and safety.

What to Do Next

Don’t try to fix everything at once. Emotion coaching is like learning a new language—it takes time, repetition, and lots of grace.

Start small. Choose just one mistake from this list that you want to gently shift. Maybe you want to work on listening more before offering solutions, or practicing empathy instead of lecturing.

Get someone on board. If you’re co-parenting, share what you’re learning. Talk openly about the challenges and invite them into the process. You don’t need to be on the exact same page to make progress—just moving in the same direction helps.

Try this today:

Write down one validating phrase you can practice using this week. Something simple like:

• “That sounds really hard.”

• “It makes sense you feel that way.”

• “I hear you.”

Keep it on a sticky note, your phone, or wherever you’ll see it in the heat of the moment. Also, there are practical tips in my book to help you even further. Remember, it’s not about getting it perfect. It’s about showing up with empathy, again and again.

Conclusion

Parenting isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about building trust over time. And emotion coaching isn’t a skill you master overnight. It’s a practice, and like any practice, it comes with its share of missteps.

But here’s what matters: every time you slow down, choose empathy, and stay present, you’re strengthening your child’s emotional world. That effort adds up. You don’t have to get it right every time—just more often than not.

• Made a mistake today? Try again tomorrow.

• Had a rough moment? Repair is always possible.

• One small step at a time? That’s enough.

So you know, to make all these easier, Dropped by a Maze is your companion through this journey. Inside, you’ll find real-life examples, powerful emotion coaching scripts, and reflections from parents just like you. Let’s raise emotionally strong kids—together.

FAQS

Is emotion coaching the same as gentle parenting?

Not exactly. While they overlap, emotion coaching focuses specifically on helping kids understand, label, and manage their emotions through empathy and guidance. Gentle parenting is a broader approach that includes discipline styles, communication, and overall relationship dynamics.

What if I’ve already made these mistakes—did I ruin things?

Absolutely not. Emotion coaching is a journey, not a one-time fix. Kids are incredibly resilient, and every moment of repair or empathy strengthens trust. It’s never too late to start or try again.

Do I need to follow emotion coaching scripts word-for-word?

No. Scripts can be a great starting point, but the goal is to sound like you. It’s better to use them as guides and adapt the wording to fit your natural voice and your child’s needs.

Won’t validating every feeling make my child overly sensitive or spoiled?

Validating emotions doesn’t mean agreeing with behavior or giving in. It simply tells kids their feelings are real and okay. Setting boundaries and validating emotions can go hand-in-hand.

Where can I learn more emotion coaching strategies?

I cover more tools, examples, and real-life stories in my book—including a free cheat sheet of emotion coaching scripts you can use right away.

Script Vs Improv: The Benefits of Both

Table of content

Intro

What Are Emotion Coaching Scripts?

What Is Improv in Emotion Coaching?

Why Scripts Help (Especially at First)

Benefits of Using Scripts (Especially When You're New)

Why Improv Matters Too

Why Improvising Matters

How to Move from Scripts to Natural Emotion Coaching

When to Use Scripts and When to Improvise: Finding Balance

So… How Do You Use Emotion Coaching Scripts Naturally?

Final Thoughts

Script Vs Improv: The Benefits of Both

When emotions run high—whether it’s a child having a meltdown or a tough conversation with a partner—knowing what to say can feel overwhelming. That’s where emotion coaching language comes in. It’s a way of speaking that helps guide emotions, not shut them down. It encourages understanding, validation, and problem-solving, instead of jumping straight to correction or control.

For many parents and caregivers, using emotion coaching scripts feels like a safe starting point. Scripts offer ready-made phrases for tricky moments, like “I see you’re really upset right now” or “It’s okay to feel frustrated, but we can’t hit.” They give you words when your own emotions might leave you speechless.

But here’s the challenge: while scripts can be helpful, they’re not always easy to stick to in real life. There’s a natural tension between following a script and speaking from the heart. Some worry that reading from a mental playbook sounds robotic, while others fear going off-script means saying the wrong thing. So how do you balance both?

Let’s break it down.

What Are Emotion Coaching Scripts?

Think of scripts as ready-made phrases or responses you can lean on in tough emotional moments. They’re like training wheels for conversations about feelings.

Examples of emotion coaching scripts might be:

“I see you’re feeling really frustrated. It’s okay to feel that way.”

“It looks like you’re having a hard time right now. I’m here with you.”

Scripts are often pre-written or suggested phrases you read in books, blogs, or learn in parenting classes. They give you a structured way to respond with empathy and validation, especially when you’re caught off guard.

The upside? Scripts help you avoid knee-jerk reactions like dismissing, minimizing, or ignoring feelings.

The downside? If you stick to them word-for-word, they can feel stiff—or like you’re reading lines instead of connecting.

What Is Improv in Emotion Coaching?

Improv (short for “improvisation”) is the opposite of sticking to a set script. It’s responding in the moment, using your own words and intuition, based on what’s happening right now.

With improv, instead of thinking, “What’s the right phrase to say?” you’re asking:

“What does my child need from me emotionally in this moment?”

“How can I show up in a way that feels true to me and my relationship with them?”

For example:

Instead of a script like, “It’s okay to be sad,”

you might improvise with, “Wow, this really stinks, huh? I’d be upset too.”

The upside? Improv sounds more natural, personal, and responsive.

The downside? Without a solid understanding of emotion coaching, it’s easy to fall back into less supportive reactions (like advice-giving, minimizing, or fixing).

Why Scripts Help (Especially at First)

Let’s be real: parenting and caregiving are emotional rollercoasters. You’re juggling your child’s big feelings along with your own. In those heated moments, it’s hard to think clearly. That’s why emotion coaching scripts can be such a lifesaver, especially when you’re just starting out.

Scripts give you structure. They act like training wheels, guiding you through situations where you might otherwise freeze or default to yelling or shutting down. Instead of scrambling for words, you have a go-to phrase that keeps the conversation calm and focused.

For example, common emotion coaching scripts include:

• “I can see you’re really sad right now. Do you want to talk or just sit together?”

• “It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to throw things. Let’s figure out another way to show you’re upset.”

• “That sounds really hard. I’m here to help you through it.”

These kinds of phrases help you slow down, acknowledge emotions, and model empathy. If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, having these words ready can boost your confidence and help you avoid saying something reactive. A good thing is that my book also offers a handy emotion coaching script cheat sheet to keep nearby for everyday situations.

Benefits of Using Scripts (Especially When You're New)

If you’re new to emotion coaching or even just trying to break old communication patterns—it can be hard to know what to say at the moment. This is where emotion coaching scripts become a powerful tool in your toolkit.

Boosts Confidence and Reduces Anxiety

When emotions run high, so does internal stress. Many of us grew up without emotionally attuned communication models, so the idea of validating feelings or setting boundaries calmly can feel foreign. Having a script to lean on gives you confidence that you’re saying something helpful, not harmful.

It’s like a safety net for your words.

Instead of freezing or reacting impulsively, you can say,

“I can hear that this is really hard for you. Let’s figure it out together.”

And just like that, you’ve diffused the situation—and stayed connected.

Keeps Your Language Aligned with Emotion Coaching Principles

In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to fall back on what’s familiar—lecturing, fixing, minimizing, or dismissing feelings. Scripts act as gentle reminders of what you’re aiming for: empathy, validation, boundaries, and emotional safety. Over time, repeating the right language rewires your default communication style. If you’re worried how to start, I’ll recommend ordering Dropped by Maze  because you get a free cheat sheet of scripts—free with book purchase

Ensures Consistency in Emotionally Intense Moments

Scripts help create predictable responses in unpredictable situations. Whether your child is melting down in the grocery store or your client is spiraling in a session, consistency builds trust.

Imagine hearing this every time you’re overwhelmed:

“It’s okay to feel that way. You’re not alone. Let’s breathe together.”

That kind of emotional steadiness becomes a foundation for long-term regulation—for both you and the person you’re coaching. 

The Problem with Relying Only on Scripts

While scripts are incredibly helpful (especially at the beginning), they’re not meant to be a lifelong crutch. Emotion coaching is about connection, not performance—and that means your words need to feel real, not rehearsed.

Risk of Sounding Robotic or Inauthentic

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone saying something perfectly scripted, but completely disconnected from how they actually feel? It doesn’t land well. It can even feel dismissive.

Overusing scripts without genuine emotional presence can come off as forced, stiff, or emotionally flat. Kids and adults alike can sense when you’re not really with them—even if the words sound right. However to avoid this, my book comes with a cheat sheet of go-to emotion coaching scripts you can use right away.

Doesn’t Account for Unexpected Responses

Life is messy. Emotions don’t follow a script—and neither do people. What happens when someone says something you didn’t expect? Or when a child rejects your comforting words?

If you’re relying solely on a mental library of “perfect” phrases, you may get stuck or flustered when things go off-script. Emotion coaching requires flexibility, adaptability, and intuition.

Can Make It Harder to Truly Connect

Ironically, the more you cling to scripts, the more disconnected your coaching might feel. Emotion coaching is about attunement—not just saying the right thing, but feeling with someone.

To build trust, your responses need to reflect not just best practices, but the actual moment you're in with the person you're supporting. That can’t always be prewritten.

Why Improv Matters Too

As much as scripts help us get started, real emotion coaching happens in the moment. No two emotional outbursts are the same. No child or client responds exactly like another. That’s why learning to improvise—to respond with presence and flexibility—is a core emotion coaching skill.

Emotional Moments Are Unpredictable—Flexibility Is Key

You might walk into a room expecting a calm conversation, only to be met with a meltdown. Or you might plan to use a particular phrase, only to find it doesn’t fit the mood at all.

If you're locked into a script, you might miss what's actually happening. Real emotion coaching means being willing to toss the script when needed and meet someone right where they are. That requires trust in yourself—and your relationship. However, to make it all easy inside my book, you’ll also find a curated cheat sheet of emotion coaching scripts for tricky moments.

Improv Allows for Attunement and Real-Time Empathy

When you improvise, you're not just reciting words—you’re responding to how the other person feels right now.

It lets you say things like:

“I didn’t expect that reaction—and that’s okay. I can tell this really hit you hard. I’m here.”

That's an emotional presence. It’s not polished. It’s real. And that’s what builds safety.

Scripts Are Training Wheels, Not the Whole Bike

Think of emotion coaching scripts as your beginner toolkit. They help you stay balanced at first. But over time, the goal is to take the training wheels off.

• You begin by reading scripts.

• Then you practice saying them.

Eventually, you create your own language that reflects your heart because the goal isn’t perfection. It's a connection.

How to Move from Scripts to Natural Emotion Coaching

If you’re used to following emotion coaching scripts, it can feel scary to go off-script. But you don’t have to give them up completely. Here are simple ways to start sounding more natural:

• Start with scripts but make them sound like you. If a script says “I can see you’re angry, and that’s okay,” but you never talk like that, change it to something you’d actually say: “I get why you’re mad. It’s okay to feel that way.”

• Practice pausing before you reply. Instead of jumping in with a ready-made line, take a deep breath and notice what your child is showing you. This pause gives you space to respond instead of react.

• Use scripts as guides, not strict rules. Think of scripts like road signs—they point the way, but you can take different routes depending on where you are.

• Role-play situations with a partner or friend. This can help you practice staying calm and flexible without needing to memorize exact words.

• Most importantly, aim for progress, not perfection. You won’t get it right every time, and that’s okay. Every attempt to connect counts.

When to Use Scripts and When to Improvise: Finding Balance

So, when should you stick to a script, and when is it better to improvise? Scripts are most helpful during really stressful or tricky moments—like if your child is having a meltdown in public or if emotions are running high at home. In those moments, scripts can help you stay calm and avoid saying something hurtful or dismissive.

But improvising works better during quiet, teachable moments—like when your child is sharing a worry, asking a tough question, or opening up about their day. In those times, speaking from the heart helps them feel safe and truly listened to.

The key is to trust your gut. Have your scripts ready, but be willing to shift if the situation calls for it. A simple way to decide is to ask yourself: “Does my child need comfort, guidance, or just someone to listen to right now?”

By balancing scripts with improvisation, you’re not just managing behavior—you’re building trust, empathy, and deeper connection.

So… How Do You Use Emotion Coaching Scripts Naturally?

 It’s not either/or. The secret is to use scripts in a way that builds your fluency in emotion coaching without making you sound like you're reading a teleprompter.

Here’s how to do it:

Use Scripts to Learn Tone, Structure, and Emotional Vocabulary

Scripts teach you how to speak in a supportive, emotionally intelligent way. You learn:

• How to validate instead of dismiss

• How to set boundaries without blame

• How to talk about emotions calmly, even in chaos

For example:

Script: “It’s okay to be mad. What you’re feeling makes sense.”

Over time, you might say: “Ugh, yeah. I get why that made you angry.”

Same structure. Same validation. More you.

Practice Role-Playing Until Phrases Become Second Nature

One of the best ways to make scripts feel natural is to practice out loud, especially when you're not in the middle of an emotional storm.

Try:

• Practicing with a partner

• Repeating phrases in the mirror

• Rehearsing how you’d respond to common scenarios

The more you practice, the more automatic it becomes. When the real moment comes, your body and brain will know what to do. But if you’re finding it hard, you should order Dropped by a Maze. There is a cheat sheet to help you with this process. 

Adapt Scripts to Your Own Voice and Your Child’s (or Client’s) Personality

Not every phrase will fit your style—or theirs. If your child is more sensitive, blunt words might backfire. If you're a naturally playful person, warm humor might work better.

You might adjust:

• “Let’s take a break” → “Wanna hit pause and breathe together?”

• “You’re safe here” → “I’ve got you. We’ll figure it out.”

• Authenticity builds trust. Don’t be afraid to make the words your own.

Shift from Memorizing to Internalizing

The ultimate goal is to internalize emotion coaching principles—so your responses are rooted in empathy, not memorization.

You’ll know you’re getting there when:

• You feel less frantic in emotional moments

• Your words flow more naturally

• Your focus shifts from getting it right to being present

Final Thoughts

Emotion coaching isn’t about sounding perfect. It’s about showing up with intention, empathy, and a willingness to grow—especially when things get messy.

Scripts can help you find your footing. They give you the words when you don’t have them, the calm when you feel anything but calm. But eventually, the goal is to go beyond the script—to speak from a place of deep understanding and genuine connection.

Remember:

• Use scripts as your training wheels—but don’t stay there forever.

• Practice until the language feels like yours, not someone else’s.

• Improvise when needed—because real emotional moments rarely follow a plan.

And if you're wondering what emotion coaching scripts actually sound like?—I’ve got you covered. You can get My Cheat Sheet of Real Emotion Coaching Scripts—Free with my Book.

Inside the book, you’ll learn the full framework of emotion coaching… and when you order, I’ll send you my exclusive cheat sheet of plug-and-play scripts you can start using right away.

Best Emotion Coach: Parents or Teachers

Table of Content

Intro

The Case for Parents: Coaching Starts at Home

The Case for Teachers: Coaching in Real-Time, Real-World Moments

Where They Overlap — and Why Both Matter

So… Who Plays the Bigger Role?

Conclusion

Best Emotion Coach: Parents or Teachers

Every adult who interacts with kids wants the same thing — to see them grow into emotionally strong, self-aware, and confident human beings. But when it comes to guiding children through big feelings and tough moments, a question often bubbles up: Who holds more influence — parents or teachers? This isn’t about assigning blame or claiming superiority. It’s about understanding the unique emotional coaching power each role carries — and how they complement each other more than we may think.

Emotion coaching, at its core, is the process of helping children recognize what they’re feeling, learn how to name it, and find healthy ways to manage it. Whether it’s a meltdown over a broken toy or the quiet anxiety before a school presentation, these moments are rich opportunities to teach emotional literacy. But who’s better positioned to seize them?

In this blogpost, we’ll explore both sides. You’ll see the advantages, the blind spots, and the real-life impact of emotional coaching from both home and classroom perspectives. And if you're wondering how to actually apply this in your daily life, whether you're a parent juggling dinner and bedtime or a teacher managing a full classroom my book Dropped by a Maze includes role-specific guides that walk you through exactly how to show up powerfully in your own context.

Let’s get started.

The Case for Parents: Coaching Starts at Home

Ever notice how children seem to mirror the moods of their parents?

That’s no accident. From the moment they’re born, kids are watching how we respond to life — and learning from it.

Parents are a child’s first emotional teacher. The home is where they first see what anger looks like, how sadness is handled, and what comfort sounds like after a tough day. And because home is where emotions show up most honestly — in the messy moments, the bedtime routines, the after-school meltdowns — it's also the place where emotional coaching can happen most naturally.

Simple moments, like sitting together at dinner or calming a tantrum in the hallway, are powerful coaching opportunities. You don’t need a perfect script — you just need to be present, and willing to guide.

But here’s the honest part: not all parents were taught how to regulate their own emotions, which makes this work even harder. That’s why the parent-specific section in my book includes coaching scripts and real-life examples that fit right into your day — no extra time or training required.

Because emotion coaching isn’t about being perfect. It’s about trying, showing up, and learning alongside your child.

The Case for Teachers

What better place to learn emotional skills than in the middle of real life?

That’s exactly what happens in classrooms every day. Teachers guide children through frustration, group work, exclusion, and even friendship conflicts — all in real time. The school setting mirrors the outside world: kids learn how to share, wait their turn, speak up, and stay calm when things get tough. It’s not just about lessons on the board. It’s about handling emotions in the moment — when someone cuts in line or when a game gets too competitive.

Many teachers also bring tools from their training in classroom management and Social-Emotional Learning (SEL). These help them set clear boundaries while modeling empathy and patience.

Of course, teachers are stretched thin. With large classes and tight schedules, it’s hard to give every child the one-on-one emotional support they may need. That’s why the teacher’s section in my book includes fast, actionable tools that fit into busy school days without adding pressure. Because even a 30-second response from a trusted adult can teach a child how to pause, name their feelings, and respond with care.

Where They Overlap — and Why Both Matter

It’s not about choosing who’s more important — it’s about how parents and teachers can work together.

Emotion coaching works best when kids get the same messages at home and at school. When a child hears “It’s okay to feel angry, let’s talk about it” from both their parent and their teacher, that message sticks. It becomes safe. It becomes normal.

What makes this even more powerful is that parents and teachers often see different sides of a child. A parent might notice anxiety at bedtime. A teacher might see frustration during group work. When those insights are shared, kids get better support — and that’s what they really need.

This is why my book includes simple communication templates to help parents and teachers check in with each other and share emotional insights without pressure or overwhelm.

Because when the home and school environments feel emotionally safe, kids don’t just survive, they thrive.

So… Who Plays the Bigger Role?

It’s tempting to pick a side, but the truth is, both parents and teachers play powerful roles — just in different ways. Parents leave a long-term emotional imprint. From birth, kids look to their parents for how to name and manage feelings. Even quiet moments at home can shape how a child learns to feel safe and seen.

Teachers, on the other hand, guide emotional skills in action. In a classroom, children learn how to manage frustration, work through conflict, and speak up for themselves — all with a teacher’s support in real time.

You might be wearing one of these hats. Or maybe both. Either way, take a moment to reflect:

What’s one small way you’ve helped a child understand their emotions recently?

What’s one area you’d like to grow in?

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or both, my book offers role-specific tools to help you understand your emotional coaching strengths and work through the areas that feel tougher.

Conclusion: Emotion Coaching Is a Shared Journey

Emotional coaching isn’t about saying the perfect thing. It’s about showing up with kindness, listening with patience, and creating space for big feelings.

You don’t have to do everything at once. You can start with one deep breath, one curious question, or one calm response — that’s where growth begins.

If this topic spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you:

Are you a parent or teacher? What’s one emotion coaching moment that stood out for you this week?

And if you want help navigating this journey, my book has step-by-step tools tailored to your role — so you’re never guessing your way through emotional coaching.

Ready to take the next step? Order your copy today.

FAQ

Who has the bigger impact on a child’s emotional development?

It’s not about who’s bigger, it’s about how their influence shows up. Parents often shape deep emotional beliefs. Teachers help kids apply those skills in everyday life.

Is one role more important than the other?

They’re complementary, not competitive. Emotion coaching is strongest when parents and teachers work together, reinforcing the same language and emotional safety.

What age group does emotional coaching work best for?

It works at any age. Toddlers, tweens, or teens, though the approach shifts as kids grow. My book breaks down what works best for different ages and settings.

Where can I get more support or tools?

My book includes role-specific guides for parents and teachers, plus ready-to-use activities, scripts, and coaching prompts. You can order your copy today or explore coaching options.

What’s the biggest mistake people make in emotional coaching?

Trying to “fix” or rush emotions instead of making space for them. Kids don’t need perfection, they need presence. The book shows you how to slow down and connect first.

Top 3 Emotion Coaching Activities to Try This Week

Table of content

Intro 

Why Try Unusual Emotion Coaching Activities?

• Activity 1: Emotion Mapping with Your Non-Dominant Hand

• Activity 2: Emotional Dialoguing with an Object

• Activity 3: Emotional Weather Report (For Yourself)

How to Get the Most Out of These Activities

Conclusion

Top 3 Emotion Coaching Activities to Try This Week

Emotion Coaching Activities

Let’s face it. Not everyone is sold on emotion coaching, and that is completely okay. Maybe the idea of sitting with your feelings sounds uncomfortable or even unnecessary. Maybe you have tried journaling or deep breathing and found yourself thinking, “This just isn’t for me.” If that sounds like you, you are not alone.

Emotion coaching is all about helping people better understand and manage their emotions. That might sound simple, but the way we do it can vary from person to person. The goal is not to fix you or force you into something that feels unnatural. Instead, it is about offering tools that help you check in with yourself, notice what is going on inside, and feel a little more in control, even during tough moments.

This blogpost will introduce you to three unusual emotion coaching activities that might sound a little different from what you are used to. 

Why Try These Emotion Coaching Activities?

You might be wondering why anyone would need something “unusual” to deal with emotions. Shouldn’t it be enough to talk about our feelings or write them down in a journal? For some people, yes. But for many others, those traditional methods only scratch the surface.

Here is why unusual emotional coaching activities might actually help more than you expect.

1. Traditional methods do not work for everyone. Some people find it hard to sit and talk about their feelings. Others feel uncomfortable writing in a journal. Just because a method is common does not mean it is the best fit for you. When you try something different, you give yourself permission to find a method that actually clicks.

2. Unusual activities can help bypass your mental resistance. Sometimes your mind puts up walls. You might judge your feelings, talk yourself out of them, or avoid them altogether. Creative or body-based activities work by sneaking past those mental barriers. They make it easier to feel without overthinking everything.

3. Emotions do not just live in the brain. They live in the body too. You feel emotions in your chest, your stomach, your throat. So it makes sense to use tools that help you experience and move through emotions in a physical way. Unusual emotional coaching activities often speak the body’s language, which makes them surprisingly effective.

In the next section, you will discover three coaching activities that are fun, strange, and surprisingly helpful. You do not have to do all of them. Just pick one that sparks your curiosity and see what happens.

Are you ready to experiment a little? Let’s begin.

Activity 1: Emotion Mapping with Your Non-Dominant Hand

This activity might feel a little strange at first, but that is part of its power. Emotion mapping with your non-dominant hand means using your left hand if you are right-handed, or your right hand if you are left-handed, to draw how you are feeling in the moment. You do not need any artistic skills at all. The goal is to use simple shapes, colors, and maybe a few words to represent what is going on inside you.

When you use your non-dominant hand, you activate the part of your brain that is connected to emotions, creativity, and intuition. This helps you bypass your usual logical thinking and tap into feelings you may not even realize you are carrying. It is a gentle way to uncover emotions that might be hiding under the surface.

Here is how to do it

• Set a timer for five to ten minutes. You do not need more than that to get started.

• Grab some paper and something to draw with. Crayons, colored pencils, or markers work well, but you can also use a pen or pencil.

• Using your non-dominant hand, draw how your body feels right now. Not how it looks, but how it feels. For example, you might draw a tight red knot in the chest area or a light blue swirl in the belly.

• After drawing, label each part of your picture with a word that matches the feeling. Some examples could be tension, calm, pressure, joy, or sadness.

Optional: Look at one shape or section of your drawing and ask yourself, “If this shape had a voice, what would it say?” Write down the answer without overthinking.

If you are feeling skeptical, that is completely normal. Remember, this is not about creating something beautiful. It is about breaking your usual patterns and connecting to your emotions in a new way.

Activity 2: Emotional Dialoguing with an Object

This next activity might sound a bit silly, but it is incredibly effective once you get past the awkwardness. Emotional dialoguing with an object means taking something from your environment and treating it as a stand-in for one of your emotions. Then, you talk to it. Yes, literally talk to it, or write out a conversation with it.

Why does this help? When we hold emotions inside, they can feel heavy, confusing, or even shameful. But when we give them a voice and talk to them as if they are separate from us, it becomes easier to understand what they want or need. This reduces judgment and makes it feel safer to explore difficult feelings.

Here is how to do it

• Pick a household object. It can be a mug, a rock, a toy, a plant, or anything else you can see or hold.

• Choose an emotion you are feeling today. It could be worry, anger, sadness, or even numbness.

• Say something like, “Today, this mug is my sadness.” Then, imagine that the object has taken on that emotion.

• Start a conversation. You can speak out loud or write it in your journal. Begin by asking the object a question, like “Why are you here?” or “What do you want from me?” Then imagine its response. Keep going back and forth for a few minutes.

This exercise can feel strange at first, but it is often surprisingly honest. Sometimes, talking to something outside yourself helps you say what you really mean, especially when it is hard to express it in other ways.

Activity 3: Emotional Weather Report (For Yourself)

Have you ever noticed how much your emotions feel like the weather? One minute things are calm, and the next, a storm rolls in out of nowhere. That is exactly why this activity works so well. It helps you describe your emotional state using the language of weather, which makes your feelings easier to understand and less overwhelming.

The best part is that you do not need to explain why you feel a certain way. You are just giving a simple report of what is happening inside, like a forecast. This helps you observe your emotions without getting stuck in them.

Here is how to do it

• Start by saying or writing, “Today’s internal forecast is...” Then describe your current emotional state like you would describe the weather. Some examples include foggy and quiet, stormy with bursts of sunshine, or scattered tension with moments of peace.

• You can also add a short prediction for tomorrow, such as, “Tomorrow’s emotional forecast might be partly sunny with a chance of reflection.”

• This activity is not about forcing yourself to feel better. It is simply about naming what is present. Once you see your emotions as passing weather rather than permanent truths, they begin to feel more manageable.

For twenty more activities like these, see my book’s toolkit section — it’s filled with practical tools you can start using right away.

How to Get the Most Out of These Activities

These emotion coaching activities are simple, creative ways to explore what you are feeling. You do not need to overthink them or push for a big transformation. Try one per day or even one per week, treat each one like a small experiment.

The goal is not perfection. The goal is to gently interrupt your usual patterns and check in with yourself in new ways. As you try them, keep your expectations light. You might not get a clear answer right away, and that is okay. Often, the real value comes in the small shifts like a sense of relief, a surprising insight, or just feeling a little more connected to yourself.

And honestly, these three activities are just a starting point. For twenty more activities designed to help you explore, process, and regulate your emotions in different and sometimes unexpected ways, see my book’s toolkit section. It goes deeper and gives you a wide range of tools to experiment with, whether you are brand new to emotion coaching or looking to expand your practice.

Conclusion

You do not have to fully buy into emotion coaching to benefit from trying these tools. These are not magic tricks or rigid rules. They are small openings, invitations to listen to yourself with a bit more honesty and care.

Pick one activity and try it out. Just one. Give it five minutes and see how it lands. You might feel something unexpected. Or you might simply notice that you feel a bit more grounded than before.

If you give one of these a try, I would love to hear how it went. Feel free to leave a comment or share your experience. And if you are ready to go further, the full toolkit in my book is waiting to guide you through even more ways to tune in and support your emotional world.

Which Works Best: Gottman or Neuro-Emotional Coaching?

Table of content

Intro

What Is Emotion Coaching in the Gottman Method?

What Is Neuro-Emotional Coaching?

Key Differences Between the Two Methods

How to Know Which Is Right for You

The Role of the Coach

Final Thoughts

FAQ

Which Works Best: Gottman or Neuro-Emotional Coaching?

Gottman Emotion Coaching vs Neuro-Emotional Coaching

Let’s face it, emotional wellness isn’t just a “nice to have” anymore. Whether you're trying to navigate a tricky relationship, support your mental health, or simply understand yourself better, learning how to process emotions in a healthy way has become a priority for many of us.

As such, two powerful tools have been rising in popularity: the emotion coaching Gottman Method and Neuro-Emotional Coaching. If you've heard of either (or both), you’re not alone. They’re both known for helping people build stronger emotional awareness, communicate more effectively, and heal old emotional wounds. But here's the catch—they do it in very different ways.

So, how do you know which one is right for you?

That’s exactly what we’re unpacking in this blogpost. We’ll break down what each approach is all about, how they differ, who they're best suited for, and how they can help you move forward—whether in your relationships, career, or personal growth journey.

What Is Emotion Coaching in the Gottman Method?

If you’ve ever wished you knew what to say during a heated argument with your partner or how to calm your child when they’re spiraling—emotion coaching Gottman might be exactly what you need.

This approach comes from the groundbreaking work of Drs. John and Julie Gottman, who have spent over 40 years studying what makes relationships thrive. One of their key findings? The way we respond to emotions—ours and others’—can make or break the emotional health of a relationship.

In the Gottman Method, emotion coaching is all about being tuned in. It’s about seeing someone’s emotional moments not as obstacles to get past, but as chances to build closeness and trust.

Here are the 5 core steps they teach for emotion coaching (whether you're dealing with your child, your partner, or even yourself):

1. Be aware of emotions – Instead of brushing feelings aside, you learn to notice the subtle signs that something’s going on under the surface.

2. See emotions as an opportunity for connection – Instead of reacting with frustration or avoidance, you lean in with care.

3. Listen and validate – You don’t need to fix the feeling—you just need to show that it’s real and okay.

4. Help label emotions – Sometimes people act out because they don’t know how to name what they’re feeling. Helping them find the right words can be a huge release.

5. Set limits while helping problem-solve – Emotional coaching isn’t about saying “yes” to everything—it’s about teaching healthy boundaries and helping someone move forward.

While this method is often used in parent-child relationships, it works beautifully for couples too. It gives you a roadmap for handling tough moments with empathy instead of defensiveness. And over time, it builds emotional trust that lasts.

What Is Neuro-Emotional Coaching?

Now let’s shift gears. If the Gottman Method is about navigating relationships in real time, Neuro-Emotional Coaching is about going deeper, sometimes all the way back to the emotional patterns you didn’t even realize you had.

This approach blends neuroscience, emotional release techniques, and coaching psychology to help you understand how your past experiences might still be shaping your present.

Ever react strongly to something and think, “That was out of proportion”? Neuro-Emotional Coaching helps you figure out why that happens. It’s built to help you release emotional blocks that often come from unresolved memories, stress, or even childhood conditioning.

Some of the tools used in this method include:

• Visualization – Guiding your mind to revisit and safely reframe triggering moments.

• Guided reflection – Deep coaching questions to uncover hidden emotional patterns.

• Somatic awareness – Learning to notice what your body is trying to tell you (tight chest, racing heart, tense shoulders—all signals with stories behind them).

This method is highly adaptable. It’s used by individuals working through emotional pain, professionals managing high-stress careers, and even in group coaching settings for collective healing.

So while emotional coaching Gottman method often happens between two people—like a parent and child or a couple—Neuro-Emotional Coaching is more inward. It’s about healing from the inside out so you can show up more calmly, confidently, and clearly in every area of life.

Key Differences Between the Two Methods

So how do you know whether to lean toward the Gottman Method or Neuro-Emotional Coaching? Both are powerful—but they work in very different ways. Let’s break it down across five key areas using relatable examples so you can see which path might suit your needs best.

Focus of the Method

• Gottman Method is about strengthening emotional connection in relationships, especially romantic partnerships and parent-child dynamics. It’s very interaction-focused, helping you respond better to emotions in the moment.

• Neuro-Emotional Coaching, on the other hand, is much more inward-facing. It helps individuals uncover and release deeper emotional blocks that have built up over time—often from trauma, stress, or old conditioning.

Example: A couple arguing about household responsibilities would benefit from Gottman tools to improve communication and emotional validation. Meanwhile, if one partner keeps shutting down during conflict because of unresolved childhood trauma, Neuro-Emotional Coaching would help them explore that root cause.

The Emotional Depth They Address

• The emotional coaching Gottman Method deals with everyday emotional challenges—like misunderstandings, parenting stress, or reactive behaviors. It helps you repair small emotional ruptures before they become big ones.

• Neuro-Emotional Coaching often digs into long-held emotional wounds. It’s ideal for those who want to get to the bottom of patterns like chronic anxiety, people-pleasing, emotional numbness, or repeated self-sabotage.

Think of it this way: Gottman helps you navigate the waves at the surface. Neuro-Emotional Coaching helps you explore what’s going on in the depths beneath.

Tools and Techniques

In the Gottman Method, you’ll use structured steps like:

• Active listening

• Emotion labeling

• Setting limits with empathy

These tools help you stay connected during conflict and raise emotionally intelligent kids or build healthy partnerships.

 Neuro-Emotional Coaching uses tools like:

• Visualization

• Somatic awareness (noticing what your body is feeling)

• Guided reflection to unearth root causes

These methods help you process and release stored emotions that are often hard to access with logic alone. I understand this might be new to a lot of people, so I break down both methods in my latest chapter to help you better understand which works for you. 

How to Know Which Is Right for You

By now, you might be leaning one way—but if you’re still on the fence, don’t worry. Choosing between the Gottman Method and Neuro-Emotional Coaching isn’t about picking the “perfect” one. It’s about asking: What do I need most right now?

Let’s look at each path a little more closely so you can decide based on your current emotional goals and life stage.

Choose the Gottman Method if…

• You want to improve communication in your romantic relationship.

• Maybe you and your partner keep misreading each other’s tone or struggling to reconnect after arguments. Gottman’s approach gives you a step-by-step roadmap to break those cycles—and build real emotional closeness.

• You’re a parent who wants to better support your child’s emotional world.

• If your child is having big feelings and you’re not sure how to respond without shutting them down or rescuing them, this method helps you become their emotional coach—not their fixer.

• You appreciate structure and research-backed tools.

• The Gottman Method isn’t fluffy—it’s grounded in decades of relationship science. If you like having a clear framework to follow (rather than just “going with your gut”), you’ll likely find comfort and clarity here.

Choose Neuro-Emotional Coaching if…

• You’ve noticed recurring emotional patterns or blocks that keep showing up—no matter how hard you try to “fix” things.

For example, if you tend to shut down when you’re overwhelmed, or feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, this approach can help you get curious about why those patterns exist.

• You want to connect more deeply with your body and past experiences.

• Emotions aren’t just in our minds—they’re stored in the body. If talk-based approaches haven’t been enough, this method offers tools that go beyond words and tap into what your nervous system may be holding onto.

• You’re navigating stress, burnout, or emotional fatigue and need deeper healing—not just better coping skills.

Neuro-Emotional Coaching is incredibly helpful for people who feel stuck or emotionally exhausted. It doesn’t just teach you how to manage your emotions—it helps you transform your relationship with them.

Remember: I go deeper into real-life examples of both in Dropped in a Maze. Sometimes reading someone else’s journey makes your own path a lot clearer.

The Role of the Coach

In the emotional coaching Gottman Method, the coach like Sonia acts as a relationship guide. They teach emotional communication skills, give feedback on interactions, and help you understand how to support each other better.

On the other hand, in Neuro-Emotional Coaching, the coach works more like an emotional detective and space-holder, guiding you inward. Their role is to help you safely identify and release old emotions—so your nervous system and emotional reactions start to shift naturally.

You could say: Gottman helps you talk it out; Neuro-Emotional Coaching helps you feel it out and move through it.

Final Thoughts

Here’s the truth, there’s no perfect method for everyone. What matters most is that you start somewhere. Pick the path that feels right for where you are right now. Try it out. See how it feels. And be open to switching or blending methods as you grow.

You don’t have to figure it all out at once.

Trying something new is often how healing begins. Whether you want to connect more deeply with your child, your partner, or yourself—emotional growth is always possible. A solid way to get started is reading Dropped in a Maze. This is because it gives you a breakdown of both methods. 

FAQ

Can they work together?

Absolutely—they don’t have to be either/or. In fact, many people use both methods at the same time, depending on their needs.

Can these methods be done online or virtually?

Yes, both the Gottman Method and Neuro-Emotional Coaching can be done online. Sonia offers virtual coaching sessions to make it more convenient.

Are these methods backed by research?

Yes, both methods are based on solid research. The Gottman Method is backed by over 40 years of studies on relationships, while Neuro-Emotional Coaching is rooted in neuroscience and emotional healing techniques.

How do I know if I’m ready for either method?

You’re ready for either method if you feel a need to improve your emotional well-being, communication, or relationship dynamics. Both methods can be transformative if you are open to making changes and growing emotionally. To get started, start with this book to learn more. 

7 Signs Your Child Needs Emotion Coaching

Table of content

Intro

• Frequent Tantrums Over Small Issues

• They Say “I Don’t Know” to Everything

• They’re Always “Fine” (Even When They’re Not)

• They’re Overly Hard on Themselves

• Big Reactions to Small Changes

• They’re Suddenly Clingy or Withdrawn

• They Struggle to Make (or Keep) Friends

Why These Signs Matter

How to Start Emotion Coaching Today

• Start small: Validate their feelings without judgment

• Name the emotion: Give them words for what they’re feeling

• Stay calm: Model emotion regulation yourself

• Create safety: Let them know all feelings are okay—even the messy ones

Conclusion

7 Signs Your Child Needs Emotion Coaching

Signs Your Child Needs Emotion Coaching

Have you ever watched your child burst into tears over something as small as a missing crayon or a sibling sitting in “their” spot on the couch? Maybe they shut down the moment you ask how their day went or give the same answer every time—"I'm fine."

As parents or caregivers, we’re often quick to focus on behavior. We might assume they’re just tired, acting out, or being “dramatic.” But what if these little moments are actually emotional red flags—signs that your child is overwhelmed, confused, or unsure of how to express what they’re really feeling?

This is where emotion coaching comes in. It’s not about correcting behavior. It’s about helping your child recognize their emotions, express them in healthy ways, and feel safe doing so. The tricky part is, most of the signs that a child needs emotional coaching aren’t loud or obvious. They’re quiet. Easy to overlook. And they often show up in everyday situations that we brush off.

In this blogpost, I’ll walk you through seven signs your child might be crying out for emotion support—even if they don’t have the words for it yet. These insights could shift the way you parent or teach starting today.

Frequent Tantrums Over Small Issues

Picture this: your child bursts into tears because their sandwich was cut the “wrong” way. Or they scream because you told them to put their shoes on. It’s tempting to think, “They’re just being difficult” or “Why are they making a big deal out of nothing?”

But here’s what’s really happening—those outbursts aren’t just about the sandwich or the shoes. They’re about deeper emotions your child doesn’t know how to express. Children who haven’t learned to recognize or talk about their feelings often release them in dramatic, explosive ways.

These meltdowns are not signs of “bad behavior.” They’re a cry for help. Your child might be feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected—and the small issue just becomes the tipping point. Emotional coaching helps by giving them the tools to name what they’re feeling before it spills over.

When you respond with curiosity instead of correction—“Are you feeling frustrated because things didn’t go the way you wanted?”—you’re showing them how to process emotions instead of being controlled by them. Over time, tantrums become conversations.

They Say “I Don’t Know” to Everything

You ask your child, “How was your day?” and they shrug. You try, “Are you feeling okay?” and they give a flat, “I don’t know.” It might feel like they’re being dismissive—or worse, like they just don’t want to talk. But more often than not, this phrase is a shield.

When kids constantly say “I don’t know,” it’s a sign they’re struggling to name their emotions. They might feel something inside—confusion, sadness, anger—but they don’t have the words or confidence to say it out loud. So they shut down emotionally, not to push you away, but because they’re unsure how to invite you in.

Emotion coaching helps by giving your child the language and emotional safety to explore what’s really going on. When you gently guide them toward words like “nervous,” “left out,” or “tired,” you’re helping them unlock a whole world of self-expression.

Not sure where to begin? That’s where a more guided approach can help. For a step-by-step plan you can follow, grab my bestselling book Dropped in a Maze. It’s designed to help you become the steady guide your child needs, especially when words feel out of reach.

They’re Always “Fine” (Even When They’re Not)

Some kids don’t throw tantrums or shut down. Instead, they smile. They say they’re “fine.” They do their homework and stay out of trouble. And yet, if you look closely, something feels off. When a child always says they’re fine—even when they’re clearly upset—it may be their way of avoiding conflict or hiding their true feelings. They could be trying to protect themselves from judgment or disappointment. Or maybe they’ve picked up the idea that showing emotion isn’t okay.

These are the children who need emotional coaching just as much as the loud or reactive ones. The difference is, their needs are easier to overlook. But beneath that calm surface, stress and confusion might be building up silently. This is your chance to model vulnerability. Try sharing something real with them, like, “Sometimes I say I’m fine when I’m really feeling worried. That ever happened to you?” Conversations like these can slowly open the door to deeper honesty—and trust.

They’re Overly Hard on Themselves

Ever heard your child say things like “I’m so stupid” after a small mistake, or melt down over not getting something perfect the first time? This kind of intense self-criticism is more than just frustration—it can be a red flag that they’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed and unsure of how to handle it.

Children who are hard on themselves are often internalizing pressure—whether from school, home, or their own high expectations. When they don’t have the tools to process disappointment or failure, every small mistake can feel like a personal disaster.

Emotion coaching in schools and at home helps children build something powerful: self-compassion. Instead of immediately spiraling into blame or shame, they begin to learn how to pause, name what they’re feeling, and speak to themselves with kindness. Over time, this builds resilience—not by making them “tougher,” but by helping them become more emotionally aware and gentle with themselves.

This kind of transformation doesn’t happen overnight, and many parents wonder where to start. That’s why I wrote Dropped in a Maze—to walk you through simple steps that help your child turn self-blame into self-trust.

Big Reactions to Small Changes

Maybe you move their backpack, switch their usual snack, or take a different route home—and suddenly there are tears, yelling, or a complete shutdown. It seems like a tiny change, but your child reacts like it’s the end of the world. This kind of sensitivity to change is often misunderstood. People might label the child as “difficult” or “dramatic,” but what’s really happening is a signal of emotional insecurity. When kids don’t feel emotionally safe or in control, even the smallest disruption can trigger anxiety.

Emotion coaching helps children develop the emotion tools to handle change with more confidence. Through empathy, validation, and gentle guidance, they learn that uncertainty isn’t something to fear—but something they can face with support. By using emotion coaching in schools and in your home, you’re showing them how to stay calm, ask for help, and adjust when life throws them curveballs. You’re teaching them that their feelings matter, but those feelings don’t have to control them. Need help turning these moments into teaching opportunities? Dropped in a Maze offers a step by step plan you can use right away.

They’re Suddenly Clingy or Withdrawn

One moment your child is confident and independent. Next, they don’t want to leave your side or they start keeping to themselves more than usual. These sudden changes in behavior often leave parents confused or worried. Clinginess and withdrawal are common coping mechanisms for kids who are feeling emotionally unsure. They may be dealing with something they can’t yet name—a change at school, a falling-out with a friend, or even just big feelings they don’t know how to express. When children feel overwhelmed or unsafe emotionally, they often go into either “come closer” or “back away” mode.

This is where emotion coaching makes all the difference. Instead of correcting the behavior or brushing it off, emotion coaching helps you tune in and say, “I see you. Let’s figure this out together.” When kids are given a safe space to explore what’s underneath the clinginess or silence, they often begin to relax and open up. If you’re not sure how to start these deeper conversations, Dropped in a Maze has a step by step guide for you to help your kids. 

They Struggle to Make (or Keep) Friends

If your child often plays alone, has trouble resolving conflicts, or keeps coming home with stories of arguments and misunderstandings, it might be a sign they need help navigating the social side of life. Making friends takes more than just being around other kids. It takes emotional skills like empathy, self-awareness, and the ability to talk through disagreements without melting down or shutting off. Without those tools, even kind, friendly kids can feel left out or misunderstood.

That’s why emotion coaching in schools and at home is so powerful—it gives children the building blocks they need to form healthy, lasting relationships. It teaches them how to recognize other people’s feelings, express their own without hurting others, and bounce back after social hiccups.

With consistent emotion coaching, kids start showing up differently. They become more confident, more thoughtful, and better at navigating the ups and downs of friendships. If this feels like something your child is struggling with, Dropped in a Maze offers a full section on how to coach through social struggles—without taking over or rescuing them every time. 

Why These Signs Matter

It’s easy to brush off things like tantrums, clinginess, or saying “I don’t know” all the time. After all, kids go through phases, right? But when these small signs stick around—or start to pile up—they can quietly grow into bigger emotional struggles if we’re not paying attention.

The truth is, these behaviors aren’t just “quirks” or “bad habits.” They’re often signals that a child is overwhelmed, confused, or unsure of how to express what’s really going on inside. Left unsupported, this emotional confusion can lead to long-term issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, or difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life.

But here’s the good news: your job isn’t to fix your child. It’s simply to walk beside them, offering support and helping them make sense of their feelings. That’s what emotion coaching in schools and homes is all about—it’s not about perfection, but about presence. When you start offering emotional support early—when the signs are still small—you’re giving your child a lifelong gift. You’re helping them grow into emotionally healthy adults who know how to face hard moments without shutting down. And that kind of inner strength is something no one can take away.

How to Start Emotion Coaching Today

If you’re wondering, “Okay, but how do I actually start?”—you’re not alone. The idea of emotional coaching can sound big and complicated, but the truth is, it starts with small, everyday moments.

Validate their feelings without judgment.

When your child is upset, instead of saying, “You’re fine,” try something like, “That really frustrated you, didn’t it?” Just naming the feeling creates connection.

Give them words for what they’re feeling.

Many kids don’t say what they feel simply because they don’t know how. Help them build their emotional vocabulary with words like “disappointed,” “nervous,” or “left out.” This one step can unlock so much.

Stay calm and model emotional regulation.

Kids are watching how we respond—especially when things go wrong. When you stay calm, breathe, and speak gently, you’re showing them how to manage their own emotions too.

Create a safe space for all feelings.

Let them know that even the big, messy emotions are okay. It’s not about avoiding sadness or anger—it’s about learning how to feel those things without shame. You can also get creative—try using stories, pretend play, or drawing to help kids talk about what they’re going through. Some kids will open up more through imagination than direct questions.

And if you’re looking for a simple, step-by-step guide to emotion coaching that works for both everyday moments and tougher situations, my book Dropped in a Maze was written for exactly this. It's full of real-life examples, scripts, and tools you can start using today.

Conclusion

You don’t need a psychology degree to emotionally coach your child. You don’t even have to have it all figured out. What really matters is your willingness to show up—consistently, gently, and with curiosity. With just a few small shifts—like naming emotions, validating their feelings, and staying present—you can make a huge difference in how your child grows emotionally.

And if you're ready to take things a step further, Dropped in a Maze is here to guide you. It's packed with real-life stories, tools, and practical steps to help you and your child navigate emotions together. Because this journey isn’t just for them—it’s for you too.

You’ve got this.

5 Effective Emotion Coaching Techniques Most Parents Overlook

Table of content

Intro 

• Mirror Their Mood (Without Mocking It)

• Name the Feeling Before the Fix

• Create a “Calm Corner” (Not a Time-Out Spot)

• Share Your Own Feelings (In Simple Terms)

• Use "Emotion Check-ins" During Calm Times

Takeaway

5 Effective Emotion Coaching Techniques Most Parents Overlook

Most parents have heard about emotional coaching. It's all about helping kids understand and manage their feelings, rather than just correcting their behavior. But while the basics are widely shared, there are emotional coaching techniques that many parents still overlook—techniques that can make a big difference in everyday moments.

If you're tired of yelling, guessing what your child needs, or feeling stuck when emotions run high, you're not alone. These lesser-known methods can build deeper trust, improve communication, and actually make parenting feel a bit easier.

Let’s check them out together

Mirror Their Mood (Without Mocking It)

mirror their mood

One of the most overlooked emotion coaching techniques is mood mirroring. This doesn’t mean copying your child’s meltdown or turning it into a joke. It means matching the emotional tone in a calm and controlled way to show you're present with them.

For example, if your child is crying because their toy broke, instead of saying “It’s just a toy, stop crying,” you can sit next to them and say, “That was your favorite toy. I get why you're upset.” You’re not making the situation bigger, but you’re also not brushing it off. This builds trust and helps your child feel understood—which is the foundation of emotional regulation.

This is one of the key ideas covered in Chapter 3 of my book, where I share more tools for creating calmer moments with kids.

Name the Feeling Before the Fix

Most parents jump straight into problem-solving. While that can seem helpful, it often skips a key emotion coaching technique—naming the feeling first.

 Let’s say your child storms in after school and slams their bag down. Instead of jumping in with “What happened?” or “Calm down,” pause and say something like, “You seem frustrated. Want to talk about it?” When you name the emotion, it helps your child feel seen and teaches them to recognize feelings in themselves. After that moment of connection, then you can work together on what to do next.

Create a “Calm Corner” (Not a Time-Out Spot)

Cozy “Calm Corner” designed for children

One of the most effective emotion coaching techniques that often gets missed is creating a safe space—not for punishment, but for calming down. A calm corner is a cozy spot where your child can go when they feel overwhelmed. It’s not a place to send them away when they’ve done something wrong, but a tool to help them reset emotionally.

You can include things like soft pillows, a stress ball, books about feelings, or even headphones with calming music. When your child starts to get upset, you can gently say, “Want to take a minute in your calm corner?” Over time, they’ll start using it on their own, which builds emotional independence and regulation skills without shame or pressure. This and more of these unconventional strategies is what I shared in my book. You can check out Chapter 3 in my book.

Share Your Own Feelings (In Simple Terms)

A lot of parents think they have to stay completely calm and emotionless all the time. But one powerful emotion coaching technique is showing your own feelings—in a healthy, age-appropriate way. Kids learn how to deal with emotions by watching how we handle ours.

Instead of pretending you’re fine when you’re clearly frustrated, you could say, “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.” This models emotional honesty. It tells your child that emotions are normal and that there are ways to handle them without yelling or shutting down. When kids see you name and manage your feelings, they feel more comfortable doing the same.

Use "Emotion Check-ins" During Calm Times

Most of a child’s emotional growth doesn’t happen during tantrums or outbursts — it happens in the quiet, everyday moments.

When your child is calm, their brain is more open to learning. This is when emotion check-ins can do the most good.

A simple question like:

• “What was the best and hardest part of your day?”

• “Is there anything you didn’t get to say today?”

These check-ins help your child learn how to name what they’re feeling. Over time, that builds emotion vocabulary and confidence.

You don’t need to schedule them like lessons. Instead, slip them into your normal routines:

• At the dinner table

• During bedtime tuck-ins

• While riding in the car or walking together

Start small. If they give short answers or say “I don’t know,” that’s okay. What matters is that you’re asking, listening, and making feelings feel safe to talk about.

The goal isn’t to “fix” their feelings, it’s to make room for them.

Frequently Asked Questions

At what age should I start emotion coaching my child?

You can start emotion coaching as early as toddlerhood around age 2 or 3 when your child begins expressing emotions more clearly. However, it’s never too late to start, even with teens.

Do I need special training to use emotion coaching at home?

No formal training is required to start. However, reading trusted resources or joining a coaching program, can make it easier and more effective.

What if my child doesn’t respond well to emotion coaching?

That’s normal at first. It takes time for kids to adjust, especially if they’re not used to being guided through emotions. Stay consistent, stay calm, and be patient. Over time, they will learn to trust the process.

Can emotion coaching be used with children who have special needs or are neurodivergent?

Yes. Emotion coaching is especially helpful for children with autism, ADHD, or sensory differences. It creates a safe space for expression and helps build emotional skills at their own pace.

How is emotion coaching different from just “being gentle”?

Gentle parenting focuses on kindness and connection, but emotion coaching adds specific steps, like labeling feelings and problem-solving that help children build emotional intelligence.

Takeaway

You don’t need a psychology degree to help your child grow emotionally. You just need small tools, used consistently, with love.

That’s what emotional coaching is about, creating small moments of connection that add up to big change over time.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone. If you want more unconventional strategies, check out Chapter 3 in my book. It’s full of tools that have worked for real families, not just textbook examples.

Emotion Coaching for Adults vs. Children: Key Differences and How to Adapt

Table of content: Emotional Coaching for Adults vs. Children: Key Differences and How to Adapt

Intro

Why This Matters

How Emotional Coaching for Adults Compares to Coaching Children

Emotional Coaching for Adults: What Makes It Different?

Want Support for Both?

Takeaway

Emotion Coaching for Adults vs. Children: Key Differences and How to Adapt

Have you ever tried calming your child down with a deep breath—then tried the same thing for yourself and felt... nothing? That’s because while emotional coaching works for both kids and adults, it doesn’t look or feel the same.

Children are still learning the language of emotions. Adults? Most of us are unlearning years of silence, suppression, or overreaction. Emotional coaching is a powerful tool to build emotional awareness, connection, and resilience. But how we apply it to a child versus an adult needs to be different.

In this blogpost, we’ll walk through the key differences between emotion coaching for adults and children, and how to adapt your approach to meet each person where they are.

Why This Matters

You might wonder, “Is emotional coaching really worth the effort?”

The answer is yes — and here’s why.

Emotional coaching is not just about handling a tantrum or managing a meltdown. It’s about helping someone (your child or yourself) feel seen, heard, and understood. That kind of connection changes lives.

For children, emotional coaching builds their foundation. It teaches them that feelings are not scary or bad — they are a part of being human. With this skill, they grow up feeling more confident, calm, and able to form healthier relationships.

For adults, emotional coaching is often a path to healing. Many of us weren’t taught how to manage emotions growing up. So we bottle them, lash out, or shut down. Emotional coaching gives adults the chance to relearn what it means to respond, not just react — to finally feel in control of their own story.

That’s why my book includes separate guides for adults and kids. Whether you’re trying to understand your own emotions or support your child through theirs, there’s a section designed to walk with you step by step.

If you want to explore what emotional coaching could look like for you or your family? You can preview my book and its separate guides for adults and kids right here.

How Emotion Coaching for Adults Compares to Coaching Children

At first glance, emotion coaching may sound like it should work the same way for everyone — feel, name it, manage it. But adults and children are in completely different emotional stages, and what works for one won’t always work for the other. Understanding these differences is key if you’re a parent, teacher, or even someone trying to support your inner child.

Let’s break it down.

Understanding vs. Learning for the First Time

Children are new to emotions. They feel everything deeply but don’t have the words or tools to understand what’s happening. That’s why emotional coaching with kids often starts with helping them name their feelings and learn what each emotion looks like.

Adults, on the other hand, often understand emotions but have trouble handling them. Maybe they were never taught how to respond to anger in a healthy way or how to sit with sadness without pushing it away. With adults, coaching becomes more about relearning and rewiring emotional habits, not starting from scratch.

External Guidance vs. Internal Ownership

Kids need lots of support from the outside. They rely on adults to guide them, comfort them, and set the example. That’s why tone, patience, and consistency matter so much in coaching children.

Adults, however, have to take more responsibility for their emotions. Emotion coaching for adults is less about being told what to do and more about choosing to do the hard work. That includes noticing triggers, setting boundaries, and practicing self-awareness even when it’s uncomfortable.

Reactions vs. Reflection

Children often act out their emotions — crying, yelling, shutting down — because they don’t yet know how to pause and reflect. That’s why coaching them often happens in the moment.

Adults tend to bottle up or suppress their emotions until they explode or fade into burnout. Emotion coaching for adults usually involves looking back, reflecting on patterns, and building new habits slowly and intentionally.

The Language Is Different

When coaching kids, you might say: “It’s okay to feel angry. Let’s talk about it.”

With adults, it might sound more like: “When you felt ignored in that meeting, what story did your mind create? Is that story helping or hurting you?”

Same heart behind the message, but different depth and tone.

So you know, both adults and children need emotional coaching — just in ways that reflect their stage in life. That’s why my book offers separate step-by-step guides for each. Whether you're working on your own healing or helping your child, you’ll find real tools to help you both grow.

You can take a closer look at the book and find the guide that fits you best right here

Emotional Coaching for Adults: What Makes It Different?

When we talk about emotional coaching, most people think of helping kids label their feelings and calm down during meltdowns. But adults need emotional coaching too — just in a different way.

Why?

Because adults come with years of emotional habits. Some of us were taught to "tough it out," avoid conflict, or never cry. Others were never shown how to name or process emotions at all. So unlike children, adults usually need to unlearn before they can begin learning new emotional skills.

Here’s how emotional coaching for adults stands out:

The Emotions Are Deeper and More Complex

Adults deal with stress from work, relationships, finances, trauma, and past pain. Emotion coaching helps adults notice, name, and work through all of this — not just anger or sadness, but things like guilt, shame, fear of failure, or emotional burnout.

It Involves Rewriting Old Patterns

Most adults have practiced the same emotional reactions for years. Whether it’s shutting down, lashing out, or pretending everything’s fine — these habits are hard to break. Emotional coaching helps you pause, reflect, and try a different response.

It Requires Self-Compassion

With adults, emotion coaching is not about discipline or teaching right from wrong. It’s about healing. That means helping yourself (or others) speak kindly to your inner self, make room for messy feelings, and let go of judgment.

It Can Be Self-Directed or Guided

Adults can often coach themselves — once they learn how. Reflective journaling, emotional pause techniques, and supportive self-talk are great tools. But when it gets hard, working with a coach or therapist can offer needed support.

Quick tip:

Try asking yourself at the end of a tough day — What did I feel today, and why? This tiny question can help you get more in tune with your emotional world.

PS: If you want more support, my book includes a whole section on emotional coaching for adults, with simple guides and tools to help you get started. Click here to explore it.

Common Emotional Triggers in Each Group

Children:

Kids are still learning how to express themselves, so their emotional triggers are often tied to feeling misunderstood or overwhelmed. For example, when a child says "I hate school," they may really mean they're frustrated with a subject or scared of a new routine. Overstimulation—like loud noises or too many people—can also lead to meltdowns. And when their routine is disrupted (like skipping nap time or changing plans last minute), it can throw off their sense of security.

Adults:

Adults tend to have more complex emotional triggers. Feeling disrespected, ignored, or like their boundaries aren't being honored can quickly bring up strong emotions. Many adults also carry unresolved emotions from past experiences, so certain situations can hit deeper than they appear. Overwhelm—from work, family, or simply mental load—can also cause emotional shutdowns or outbursts.

How to Respond:

No matter the age, the key is to stay calm. With children, kneel to their level, use simple words, and let them know you hear them: “It’s okay to feel upset. I’m here.”

With adults, use active listening: “I hear that this really frustrated you—do you want to talk about it or take a moment?” The idea is to create space for emotional safety and not try to "fix" everything right away.

Adapting Your Approach

What Stays the Same:

Empathy, patience, and respect are non-negotiables, whether you're coaching a child or an adult. Both groups want to feel seen and heard, and your tone, presence, and consistency help build trust.

What Changes:

The way you communicate will shift.

• Language: With children, keep your words simple and clear. With adults, it’s okay to use more nuanced language or ask reflective questions.

• Timing: Children may need immediate support in the moment, while adults might appreciate space and time to process before talking.

• Detail: Kids benefit from short, direct explanations. Adults may need more context or space to unpack deeper feelings.

Tips for Switching Gears:

• Slow down and read the room. Is this a moment for teaching, listening, or just being present?

• With kids, try naming the emotion and offering comfort quickly.

• With adults, allow silence and let them guide the pace if they need time.

• Always come back to connection—whether that’s through a comforting hug for a child or a validating word for an adult.

The more you practice emotional coaching with both groups, the easier it gets to switch between the two styles while staying rooted in care and support.

P.S: Learning emotion coaching can feel like a lot, especially when you're trying to support your child while also figuring things out for yourself. That’s why I created something simple and helpful. My book includes separate, easy-to-follow guides for adults and kids, so you’re not left guessing or overwhelmed. 

Takeaway

Emotion coaching doesn’t have to be complicated. But it does have to be consistent.

Whether you’re coaching a child through big feelings or learning to better understand your own, the goal is the same: connection, understanding, and growth.

Start where you are. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present.

And if you want a little extra help along the way, I invite you to explore the book or reach out for guidance. You’re not alone on this path.

Emotion Coaching or Traditional Parenting? What Works Best

Table of Content: Emotion Coaching vs. Traditional Parenting: Which Approach Works Better? (Backed by Science)

Intro

What is Traditional Parenting

What is Emotion Coaching

Key Differences Between the Two Approaches

What the Research Says

How to Start Using Emotion Coaching at Home

So… Which One Works Better?

Conclusion: Parenting with Heart, Not Just Rules

Emotion Coaching or Traditional Parenting? What Works Best

Parenting is is tough. 

Most of us are just trying to do better than what we had growing up. But sometimes, we find ourselves sounding like our parents, saying things like “Because I said so!” or “Stop crying!” More and more parents today are asking a different question. Is there a better way to handle emotions and tough moments with kids?

That’s where emotional coaching comes in. It’s a method backed by science that helps you connect with your child instead of just correcting their behavior. It doesn’t mean letting your child do whatever they want. It means helping them understand what they’re feeling so they can grow up emotionally strong.

In this blogpost, we’ll compare traditional parenting with emotion coaching, look at the science behind it, and share simple ways to try it at home.

What is Traditional Parenting

Traditional parenting is how many of us were raised. It’s the way where adults expect children to listen, obey, and stay in line.

In this style, the main focus is on discipline and control. If a child misbehaves or shows big emotions like anger or sadness, the response is often to stop it quickly.

For example, “Go to your room.”

Or “You’re being dramatic.”

Or “I don’t want to hear it.”

 The problem with this is that it teaches kids to hide their emotions instead of understanding them. They might follow the rules, but they don’t always feel safe or supported.

Traditional parenting isn’t all bad. But it can leave children feeling alone when they need help the most.

What is Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching is a way of parenting that helps children understand and manage their feelings. Instead of reacting with punishment or ignoring how a child feels, parents take time to connect. It’s not about letting children do whatever they want. It’s about teaching them how to handle emotions in a healthy way.

For example, if a child throws a tantrum, a traditional response might be to send them to their room. But with emotional coaching, the parent might get down to the child’s level and say, “I can see you're really upset. Can we talk about it?” This kind of response helps the child feel safe and understood. Over time, it teaches them to name their feelings and deal with them calmly.

Sonia’s book and coaching sessions walk parents through this process step by step. She shows you how to turn stressful moments into meaningful ones, and how to raise emotionally strong, confident kids—without yelling or power struggles.

Key Differences Between the Two Approaches

There’s a big difference between traditional parenting and emotion coaching. Let’s break it down clearly so you can see which one fits your values and goals.

Traditional parenting focuses on control and making sure children follow the rules. Emotion coaching focuses on understanding the child and guiding them through their emotions.

In traditional parenting, strong emotions are often seen as bad behavior. Crying, anger, or talking back might be punished quickly. But in emotional coaching, those same emotions are seen as a chance to connect and teach something deeper.

With traditional parenting, kids often feel like no one is really listening to them. They might stop sharing how they feel because they think it will get them in trouble. Emotion coaching does the opposite. It helps kids feel seen, heard, and safe to express themselves.

Traditional parenting usually relies on quick discipline to fix behavior. Emotion coaching takes a little more time, but it builds trust and helps kids learn how to handle tough feelings in the future.

Lastly, traditional parenting places the parent as the authority figure who gives orders. Emotion coaching still gives structure and guidance, but it’s done with empathy and conversation. The goal isn’t to “win” the moment—it’s to build a strong relationship that lasts.

If you’ve ever felt like there must be a better way to handle emotion moments with your child, emotion coaching might be what you’re looking for. Sonia’s book is filled with real examples, and tips to transform relationships, so get it.

What the Research Says

Science backs emotion coaching and the results are hard to ignore. Studies by Dr. John Gottman and other child development experts have shown that when parents respond with empathy, kids become better at managing their emotions. They also do better in school, have stronger friendships, and grow up with higher self-esteem.

One well-known study followed families who practiced emotion coaching over time. The children in those families were more confident and less likely to act out. They weren’t perfect, but they bounced back from stress more easily. That’s because they were learning emotional skills, not just rules.

Traditional parenting might get quick results in the moment, like quieting a child who’s upset. But emotion coaching builds something deeper. It helps children learn why they feel the way they do and how to cope. And the long-term impact is much stronger.

Sonia’s approach is built on this research. In her book, she explains to parents how to use proven techniques from the Gottman method in real life. Whether your child is dealing with anxiety, big emotions, or simply having trouble expressing themselves, this method gives you tools that actually work.

How to Start Using Emotion Coaching at Home

You don’t need to be a parenting expert to use emotional coaching. It starts with small, everyday choices. The next time your child gets upset, instead of saying “stop crying,” try saying, “I can see you're feeling sad. Want to talk about it?” Just that shift, naming the feeling and staying calm can make a huge difference.

The key is to stay present and not rush to fix everything. Let your child know their emotions are okay. Over time, this helps them feel safe and learn how to manage big feelings in a healthy way. If you’re not sure where to begin, you can discover how emotion coaching transforms relationships get my book Dropped in a Maze to learn more.

So… Which One Works Better?

Let’s be honest, parenting isn’t black and white. Some days you’re calm and connected. Other days, you’re just trying to make it to bedtime. And that’s okay. But if we look at what research shows, emotional coaching tends to build stronger bonds in the long run. It helps kids feel heard, safe, and more able to handle their own big feelings.

That doesn’t mean you need to be perfect. No one is. What matters is trying to connect more often than you correct. A little shift in how you respond can make a big difference. You’ve got this. And if you want extra support, you will discover how emotional coaching transforms relationships, get my book Dropped in a Maze to learn more.

Conclusion: Parenting with Heart, Not Just Rules

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and no one gets it perfect. But choosing emotional coaching over traditional parenting isn’t about doing things “right”—it’s about doing things with more heart. It’s about slowing down, listening more, and helping your child feel seen, safe, and understood.

Science backs it. Real parents are using it. And the results speak for themselves stronger connections, fewer power struggles, and kids who feel confident expressing their emotions.

If you’re ready to try a new way, Sonia’s book Dropped in a Maze will help you discover how emotional coaching transforms relationships. 

Emotion Coaching Certification: Is It Worth It? (2025 Guide)

Table of content

Intro

What is emotion coaching?

Who Should Consider Getting Certified?

Is It Really Worth It? 

The Pros:

• You become better at supporting others emotionally.

• It sets you apart professionally.

• You grow personally, too.

• It opens doors to meaningful work.

The Cons:

• It’s a commitment.

• You need to apply it to feel the results.

•  It’s not therapy certification.

How to Choose the Right Certification Program for You

• Look for a program that aligns with your values. 

• Make sure it’s practical.  

• Find a coach or teacher who’s walked the path.  

• See what kind of post-certification support is offered.  

Conclusion: So... Is Emotion Coaching Certification Really Worth It?

Emotion Coaching Certification: Is It Worth It? (2025 Guide)

So you’re thinking about getting an emotion coaching certification, but not sure if it’s really worth it? You’re not alone. Emotional coaching has been gaining traction lately, especially in spaces like life coaching, therapy, leadership, and even homes. The idea is simple: help people understand, manage, and express their emotions in healthier ways. 

But when it comes to actually investing your time and money into an emotion coaching certification, the big question is—does it really pay off? Is it something that will help you grow as a person or a brand? Will it make you more credible? Or is it just a nice-to-have? 

In this guide, you’re getting answers to your questions. You’ll learn what emotion coaching certification actually involves, the kind of people it’s best suited for, the pros and cons, and how to know if now is the right time to go for it.

What is emotion coaching?

Let’s break it down simply: Emotion coaching is a way of helping people especially kids understand, name, and work through their emotions. Instead of shutting down feelings or brushing them aside, emotion coaching teaches us to lean in. It’s about guiding someone through sadness, anger, or anxiety with empathy, calm, and clarity. Over time, this approach helps build emotional strength, better communication, and trust.

The concept became more popular thanks to Drs. John and Julie Gottman, who developed a clear, research-backed method for emotional coaching. Their work showed that when caregivers respond to feelings with support rather than shame, kids thrive. And this applies to adults too—emotional coaching isn’t just for children.

Who Should Consider Getting Certified?

If you find yourself constantly trying to support people through tough emotions—whether you’re a parent, teacher, therapist, coach, or even a team leader—emotional coaching certification might be the next best step in your journey.

You don’t need a psychology degree or years of experience. What you really need is a heart for people and a desire to help them grow emotionally.

Just so you know, this certification is perfect if:

• You work with kids or teens and want to help them feel seen and heard.

• You’re a life coach or therapist looking to expand your skill set.

• You’re a parent who wants to break generational cycles and raise emotionally intelligent kids.

• You’re just someone who knows there has to be a better way to handle big feelings—yours or others’.

So if you want an approachable, practical, to learn about emotional coaching, register for Sonia’s coaching services. With her years of coaching experience. You’ll learn not only the “how” but also the “why” behind emotional responses.

Is It Really Worth It? 

Let’s be real, getting certified in anything takes time, energy, and money. So before jumping in, it’s smart to ask: Is emotion coaching certification really worth it?

Let’s break down the pros and cons so you can decide for yourself.

The Pros:

1. You become better at supporting others emotionally.

Whether you're parenting, coaching, teaching, or just being a friend, emotion coaching gives you tools to connect more deeply and respond with calm and empathy.

2. It sets you apart professionally.

If you work with people—especially in education, wellness, therapy, or life coaching—having this certification can help you stand out. More people are looking for emotionally safe guides, and this training shows you know how to offer that.

3. You grow personally, too.

A beautiful side effect? You’ll start applying these skills to yourself. You'll become more self-aware, more grounded, and more confident handling your own emotions.

4. It opens doors to meaningful work.

If you’re thinking of starting a coaching business or want to add more value to the clients you already work with, this is a powerful niche. Either you’re getting Sonia’s book or want to start with her coaching services, it doesn't just teach. You also get guidance on applying what you learn.

The Cons:

1. It’s a commitment.

Like anything valuable, it takes time to go through the training and practice what you’ve learned. If you’re looking for a quick fix, this might feel like “a lot.”

2. You need to apply it to feel the results.

The real magic happens when you actually start using the tools. This isn’t a course to take and forget—it’s one to live out.

3. It’s not therapy certification.

This won’t turn you into a licensed therapist. But it will give you skills that many therapists use in everyday practice.

In the end, emotional coaching certification is worth it if you're ready to show up for people in a more meaningful way. And if you’re learning through Sonia’s program, you’re not doing it alone. You’re learning from someone with real-life coaching experience and heart-led teaching.

How to Choose the Right Certification Program for You

Not all certification programs are created equal. Before you dive in, take a moment to consider what you really want out of the experience.

Here are some tips to help you choose:

1. Look for a program that aligns with your values. 

Does the teaching style feel human and compassionate? Does it focus on connection, empathy, and real-world application? If you love the way emotional coaching feels, make sure the course reflects that tone, too.

2. Make sure it’s practical.  

Theory is great, but you want a program that gives you usable tools, scenarios, and step-by-step guidance. Sonia’s program, for example, breaks things down in a simple, actionable way that even beginners can follow.

3. Find a coach or teacher who’s walked the path.  

It helps to learn from someone who has experience—not just academically, but in real-life coaching work. Sonia brings both lived experience and heart to the table, which is rare and valuable. Her program breaks it down so simply, you’ll find yourself nodding along and thinking, “Why didn’t I learn this sooner?” 

4. See what kind of post-certification support is offered.  

Finishing the course is one thing—but what happens after? Some programs hand you a certificate and send you on your way, leaving you to figure out how to use what you’ve learned. But the good ones? They stick with you.

Programs like Sonia’s offer post-certification support, which means you're not left guessing how to actually apply the skills in real-life situations. 

Conclusion: So... Is Emotion Coaching Certification Really Worth It?

If you’ve made it this far, chances are you’re genuinely curious about emotion coaching and maybe even feeling called to help others navigate their emotions in a more meaningful way.

The truth is, getting certified isn’t just about learning a method. It’s about becoming someone people can turn to when things get hard. Someone who listens, understands, and helps others feel seen. Whether you're a parent, teacher, coach, or simply someone who wants to make a difference, emotional coaching gives you tools that truly matter in everyday life.

And if you're wondering where to start, Sonia’s training program is one of the best places to begin. It’s practical, compassionate, and grounded in real experience. She doesn’t just teach emotion coaching—she lives it. Or if you’d rather start small, her book is packed with the same warmth, wisdom, and practical tools to help you begin.

So, is it worth it? If helping others grow emotionally, becoming a more grounded communicator, and making a real impact sounds like your kind of thing—then yes, emotion coaching certification is absolutely worth it.

Emotion Coaching: Five Effective Steps for Adults

Table of Contents

Intro

What is Emotion Coaching for Adults?

Why Adults Struggle with Emotion Regulation

Mini Self-Check: Do You Struggle with Emotion Regulation?

5 Emotional Coaching Tips for Adults

• Name and validate the emotion

• Reframe the inner dialogue

• Practice emotion pausing

• Set Healthy Emotion Boundaries

• Engage in reflective emotion journaling

Common Challenges Adults Face When Starting Emotion Coaching

When to Seek Help from an Emotional Coach

FAQ

Emotion Coaching: Five Effective Steps for Adults

We often hear about teaching kids how to manage emotions, but what about grown-ups? The truth is, emotion coaching for adults is just as important—maybe even more. As adults, we juggle relationships, work stress, past wounds, and inner critics, all while being expected to “hold it together.” That’s a heavy load for anyone.

The problem is, most of us were never taught how to process emotions—we were taught to hide them. We learned to “be strong,” “get over it,” or “stay busy.” But bottling things up doesn’t make them go away. In fact, it often makes things worse.

If you’ve ever felt emotionally stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to handle strong feelings in a healthy way, you’re not alone. The good news? These emotional skills can be learned—and they can change your life. 

In this blogpost, we’ll break down five effective tips that make emotion coaching for adults simple, practical, and truly transformative.

What is Emotion Coaching for Adults?

Emotion coaching for adults is the process of helping yourself or others recognize, understand, and respond to emotions in a healthy and productive way. It’s about learning to pause, name what you’re feeling, and choose how to respond, rather than reacting out of habit or shutting down completely.

While emotion coaching is often associated with parenting, the same principles apply to adult life. It helps you build emotional awareness, regulate intense feelings, and communicate more clearly—even when you're dealing with conflict, anxiety, or stress.

Think of it as learning a new language—the language of your emotions. When you become fluent in this language, you stop being controlled by your feelings and start using them as tools for growth, connection, and healing. Whether you're navigating a tough relationship, dealing with burnout, or just trying to be more in tune with yourself, emotional coaching gives you a clear path forward.

Want personal guidance? You can start by reading Sonia’s book or booking a session with her to learn how to coach your own emotions with confidence.

Why Adults Struggle with Emotion Regulation

Many adults find it hard to manage their emotions. And it’s not because something is wrong with them—it’s because no one ever taught us how.

For most people, the struggle starts in childhood. Maybe your emotions were ignored, or you were told to "stop crying" or "be strong" when you felt upset. Over time, you learned to hide how you feel instead of dealing with it. Those unprocessed childhood emotions don’t just disappear. They stay in your body and show up later as anger, anxiety, shutdowns, or overreactions.

Society also plays a role. In many cultures, people are expected to be "tough" or "in control" at all times. But being emotionally strong doesn’t mean hiding your feelings. It means understanding them and knowing what to do with them.

Another reason adults struggle is the lack of emotional vocabulary. You might feel “off” or “stressed” but not know exactly what you’re feeling or why. Without the right words, it’s hard to work through the emotion or express it in a healthy way.

Mini Self-Check: Do You Struggle with Emotion Regulation?

Ask yourself:

• Do you often bottle up your feelings?

• Do you overreact to small things?

• Do you avoid hard conversations or conflict?

• Do you feel overwhelmed but can’t explain why?

If you answered “yes” to any of these, emotional coaching for adults might really help you.

5 Emotion Coaching Tips for Adults

Most of us were never taught how to handle our emotions — we just pushed through. But those feelings don’t go away. They show up in our reactions, relationships, and even how we speak to ourselves.

Emotion coaching for adults helps you notice what you feel, understand it, and respond better. Here are the top five emotion coaching tips for adults:

Name and validate the emotion

When you can name what you feel, it’s easier to deal with it.

Science shows that labeling emotions helps calm the brain. For example, saying “I feel overwhelmed” instead of “I’m just tired” helps your body know what’s really going on.

Try this:

Instead of saying “I’m angry,” go deeper:

• I feel frustrated

• I feel hurt

• I feel disrespected

Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend:

• “It’s okay to feel this way.”

• “That was a lot—I’m proud of how I handled it.”

Reframe the inner dialogue

The way you speak to yourself matters. Negative thoughts make emotions feel heavier.

But when you change the story in your head, your emotions shift too.

Example:

• Instead of: “I always mess things up.”

• Try: “I made a mistake, but I’m learning.”

You’re not lying to yourself. You’re choosing a better perspective—one that helps you grow instead of staying stuck.

Practice emotion pausing

You don’t have to respond right away.

Taking a short pause gives your brain time to reset. This is called the power pause.

Quick tools:

• Take 3 deep breaths

• Excuse yourself for a moment to cool off

• Use this pause when you're feeling triggered—in arguments, tense meetings, or tough conversations.

Set Healthy Emotion Boundaries

Boundaries protect your peace. They’re not about pushing people away—they help you stay grounded.

Signs your boundaries may be off:

• You feel drained after certain conversations

• You say yes when you mean no

• You keep trying to fix others’ emotions

Script you can use:

• “I’d love to support you, but I need a moment to reset first.”

Or

• “I’m not in the right space to talk right now. Can we check in later?”

You can care for others without forgetting yourself.

Engage in reflective emotion journaling

Journaling isn’t just for venting—it’s a powerful way to coach yourself.

Try this simple daily check-in:

• What emotion did I feel most today?

• What triggered it?

• How did I react?

This helps you spot patterns and gives you space to process your thoughts clearly.

You can use journaling apps or a simple notebook—whatever works for you.

Common Challenges Adults Face When Starting Emotion Coaching

Starting emotional coaching as an adult can feel uncomfortable at first. You might think, “This is too soft,” or “I don’t have time for this.” That’s internal resistance — and it’s normal. Most of us were raised to power through, not pause and feel.

Then there’s the external pushback. Maybe you’re trying to set healthy boundaries, and suddenly a friend says you’re acting distant. Or your family doesn’t get why you need space. It can feel lonely.

That’s why having the right tools and guidance matters. Sonia’s book on emotion coaching gives you easy steps to follow and real-life examples that make this process feel less overwhelming. If you’ve been trying to do this alone and it hasn’t worked, her book is a great place to start. Think of it as your personal cheat sheet for handling emotions with more clarity and confidence.

Tip: Be gentle with yourself. Emotional growth isn’t about doing it perfectly — it’s about showing up again and again, even when it feels tough.

When to Seek Help from an Emotion Coach

Some signs you might need extra support include:

• Feeling constantly overwhelmed or burnt out

• Struggling to maintain healthy relationships

• Not knowing how to talk about what you feel

If you’re looking for someone to walk alongside you in this journey, Sonia offers emotion coaching sessions rooted in compassion, psychology, and real-life experience. She’s worked with adults who used to shut down in tough conversations and now, they show up with calm and clarity.

Whether you start with a session or pick up her book, the support is there. You don’t have to figure it out alone.

FAQ

How long does it take to see results?

Often, the shift is immediate. People respond positively when they feel truly heard. But like anything, it gets easier (and more natural) the more you practice.

Is this something I can teach others too?

Yes. Once you get comfortable, you can model these techniques in your home, workplace, or even your community. Some people go on to get certified and coach others professionally.

What if I’ve never done anything like this before—is it hard to start?

Not at all. Sonia’s techniques are simple and start with self-awareness and reflection. As such, you have nothing to worry about. 

How do I know if emotional coaching is working?

You’ll notice changes in how you respond to challenges, how you communicate, and how you feel overall. Progress may be subtle at first—but it builds over time.

Are there specific books or tools to support emotional coaching for adults?

Yes, there are helpful books and tools to support emotion coaching for adults. Sonia’s book breaks it down in a simple way, and her training program gives you the skills to use it in real life or even help others too.

Emotion Coaching in Schools: How Teachers Can Support Students’ Mental Health

Table of Contents

Intro

Why Emotion Coaching Matters in Schools

The Five Steps of Emotion Coaching for Teachers

• Be aware of the student’s emotions

• Recognize emotions as an opportunity for connection and teaching

• Listen empathetically and validate the student’s feelings

• Help the student label their emotions

• Set limits while helping the student problem-solve

Practical Strategies for Teachers to Implement Emotion Coaching

Benefits of Emotion Coaching in Schools

• Stronger student-teacher relationships

• Improved classroom behavior and fewer disruptions

• Better academic performance

• Higher emotional intelligence and life skills

The Role of School Leadership and Parents

• School leaders set the tone

• Parents as partners

• Creating a team effort

Conclusion

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

5 Ways Teachers Can Help Student With Emotion Coaching

More and more students today are struggling with their mental health. Some feel anxious, overwhelmed, lonely, or stressed—both inside and outside the classroom. As these challenges grow, schools are becoming one of the most important places for emotional support.

This is why emotional coaching in schools is becoming a powerful tool. While teachers are not therapists, they spend a lot of time with students and can play a big role in helping them manage their emotions. Emotional coaching in schools gives teachers the tools to help students feel heard, understood, and supported.

This article will explore what emotion coaching in schools really means, why it’s important, and how teachers can use it to support students’ emotional well-being.

Why Emotion Coaching Matters in Schools

Students face a lot of emotional challenges every day. They might feel worried about grades, struggle with friendships, or deal with tough situations at home. If no one helps them handle these emotions, it can affect how they behave, learn, and connect with others.

Originally popularized by Dr. John Gottman in the context of parenting, emotion coaching is a proven approach that helps children recognize, understand, and regulate their emotions. That’s why emotional coaching in schools is so important. It gives teachers a way to support students emotionally, not just academically. When students feel safe and understood, they’re more likely to stay focused in class, be kind to others, and succeed in school.

Emotion coaching in schools also helps build strong student-teacher relationships. When a teacher listens, shows empathy, and teaches emotional skills, students feel more connected and confident.

The Five Steps of Emotion Coaching for Teachers

Research shows that emotional well-being is directly tied to academic performance, behavior, and social development. Just like parents, teachers can play a powerful role in helping children build emotional intelligence through something called emotional coaching.

Dr. John Gottman introduced a five-step process that teachers can adapt to their classrooms. When followed consistently, these steps help students feel seen, supported, and guided through their emotions in a healthy and respectful manner.

• Be aware of the student’s emotions

Teachers must learn to notice emotional cues—whether it’s a frown, silence, irritability, or sudden outbursts. Emotional coaching in schools begins with tuning into these small signs, even when students don't speak up. Awareness allows teachers to step in early and prevent escalation.

• Recognize emotions as an opportunity for connection and teaching

Instead of brushing emotions aside or punishing students for "bad behavior," emotional coaching encourages teachers to see emotional moments as teachable ones. If a child is upset, it’s not a distraction—it’s a chance to build trust and show that emotions are valid and manageable.

• Listen empathetically and validate the student’s feelings

Validation means letting the student know their feelings matter, even if their actions need correction. For example, saying, “I can see you’re really upset about what happened at recess. That makes sense,” helps students feel understood. In emotional coaching in schools, this step builds emotional safety.

• Help the student label their emotions

Children often struggle to name what they’re feeling. Teachers can gently offer words: “You seem frustrated” or “Are you feeling left out?” This helps students develop emotional vocabulary, which is a critical part of emotional intelligence.

• Set limits while helping the student problem-solve

Empathy doesn’t mean anything goes. Teachers can set clear boundaries while helping students think through better ways to handle the situation next time. For instance, “It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s not okay to throw things. What else could you do when you feel that way?”

Practical Strategies for Teachers to Implement Emotion Coaching

Many teachers love the idea of emotional coaching in schools but worry it will be too time-consuming or hard to fit into a packed school day. The good news? It doesn’t require a major change—it just takes consistency and intentionality.

• Start the day with emotional check-ins

A simple five-minute check-in allows students to express how they’re feeling. Teachers can use mood meters, emoji cards, or simple questions like “What color is your day?” This regular habit helps students become more self-aware and signals that their feelings matter.

• Create a ‘calm corner’ or emotional regulation station

Designate a space in the classroom where students can go when they feel overwhelmed. Fill it with tools like stress balls, coloring sheets, or breathing exercises. This supports emotion coaching in schools by giving students a safe, self-guided way to calm down.

• Model emotional intelligence

Students learn more from what teachers do than what they say. When teachers handle stress calmly, admit when they’re feeling frustrated, and show how they cope, students learn by example. Emotion coaching in schools works best when adults practice what they teach.

• Use stories and classroom discussions to talk about emotions

Books, journal prompts, or group activities can be used to explore emotions and discuss how characters handle challenges. This makes emotional learning a natural part of classroom life.

• Collaborate with school counselors or mental health staff

Teachers don’t have to do this alone. Partnering with counselors can provide students with deeper support and help teachers strengthen their own emotional coaching skills. Bringing in outside training or workshops can also deepen the school’s approach.

Benefits of Emotion Coaching in Schools

Emotion coaching in schools offers benefits that go far beyond handling emotional outbursts. When students feel emotionally supported, their overall school experience improves—academically, socially, and personally.

1. Stronger student-teacher relationships

When teachers take time to understand students' feelings, it builds trust. Students are more likely to engage in learning and open up when they feel respected and emotionally safe. Emotion coaching in schools creates a connection that goes beyond the curriculum.

• Improved classroom behavior and fewer disruptions

Students who are taught to recognize and manage their emotions are less likely to act out. Instead of bottling up anger or frustration, they learn to express themselves in healthier ways. This creates a calmer, more focused classroom for everyone.

• Better academic performance

When students feel emotionally balanced, they can focus better on their studies. Emotional stress is a major barrier to learning, and emotional coaching helps reduce that stress. Students become more resilient, which helps them stick with difficult tasks and bounce back from setbacks.

• Higher emotional intelligence and life skills

Perhaps the biggest long-term benefit of emotional coaching in schools is that it prepares students for life. They learn how to handle disappointment, resolve conflicts, and express themselves clearly—skills that are essential both in and out of school.

The Role of School Leadership and Parents

Emotion coaching in schools doesn’t fall only on teachers. For it to truly work, school leaders and parents must play their part too.

• School leaders set the tone

When principals and administrators make emotion coaching a priority, it becomes part of the school culture. This means giving teachers time, training, and space to focus on student well-being. Emotional coaching in schools works best when leaders lead with care.

• Parents as partners

Parents also need to understand emotion coaching. When they use similar language at home, it helps students stay consistent. Emotional coaching in schools should be talked about during meetings, newsletters, and open houses.

• Creating a team effort

Students thrive when they see that teachers, parents, and school leaders are all on the same page. Emotion coaching in schools should feel like a group effort, not just a classroom activity.

A book like Dropped in a Maze can be a bridge between school and home—it shows how emotional struggles play out and gives adults a clearer view of what students might be feeling but unable to say.

Conclusion

Emotionl coaching in schools is a way to build strong, caring school communities. When teachers understand how to support emotions, they help students feel safe, seen, and capable. Also, providing them with the right resources makes this easier.

In conclusion, emotional coaching in schools is an important way for teachers to help support students' mental health. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What if a student doesn’t want to talk about their feelings?

That’s okay. Emotion coaching in schools is not about forcing students to talk. It’s about creating a space where they can talk when they’re ready.

Where can I learn more about emotional coaching?

You can start by reading Dropped in a Maze or book a training session. 

What role does emotion coaching play in reducing bullying?

When students learn to recognize and manage their own emotions, they are more likely to be compassionate toward others. Teaching students to identify their feelings and understand how others feel can promote kindness and discourage bullying behavior.

Can emotion coaching in schools help with academic success?

Yes! Students who are emotionally supported and taught to manage their emotions tend to perform better academically. 

How do I introduce emotion coaching into my classroom?

Start small. Begin by checking in with students at the start or end of the day to ask how they are feeling.

Can emotion coaching be used in high school classrooms?

Absolutely. Teenagers face unique challenges like peer pressure, stress about the future, and developing self-identity. Emotional coaching in high school classrooms can help them navigate these challenges with healthier coping strategies and better emotional awareness.

How can I measure the success of emotional coaching in my classroom?

While emotional growth may take time, you can measure success through student engagement, fewer behavioral issues, and positive feedback from students. 

What is Emotion Coaching? The Gottman Method Explained

Table of Contents

Intro

What Is Emotion Coaching?

Who Are the Gottmans?

What Is the Gottman Method?

The 5 Steps of the Gottman Emotion Coaching Method

Sonia’s Unique Approach

Common Myths About Emotion Coaching

FAQs About Emotion Coaching and the Gottman Method

Takeaway

What is Emotion Coaching? The Gottman Method Explained

It’s no news that big emotions can be tricky, especially for kids. That’s why more parents are turning to emotional coaching Gottman techniques to better understand and respond to their child’s emotional needs. The Gottman Method offers a practical, research-backed approach to turn emotional moments into opportunities for connection, learning, and growth.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what emotion coaching looks like through the lens of the Gottman Method, why it matters, and how parents and caregivers can use it to build emotionally resilient children.

What Is Emotion Coaching?

Emotional coaching is a concept where parents or caregivers help children understand, label, and manage their feelings. This method was developed by Dr. John Gottman, a leading psychologist known for his research on relationships and emotional development. Emotional coaching Gottman style teaches that every emotional moment. Whether a tantrum or a moment of quiet distress is an opportunity for connection and growth.

In practice, emotion coaching Gottman method outline five essential principles of Emotion Coaching: noticing your child’s emotions, viewing emotions as opportunities to connect and teach, helping your child name their feelings, showing empathy and understanding, and setting boundaries while working together to solve problems.

Emotional coaching Gottman style shows that by using this approach, children become more emotionally aware and resilient. 

Who Are the Gottmans?

If you’ve looked up anything about parenting or relationships, you’ve probably seen the names Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman. They’re a couple who’ve spent over 40 years studying how people connect and communicate, and their work has helped millions of families.

At first, their research was all about couples. But over time, they saw something bigger — when adults respond to emotions with kindness and curiosity, instead of shutting them down, it builds stronger bonds. That same idea is now used in parenting, schools, and even workplaces. This is what emotional coaching is all about.

The 5 Steps of the Gottman Emotion Coaching Method

The Gottman Method teaches us that big emotions aren't something to avoid—they’re a chance to connect with our kids. Here’s how emotional coaching Gottman works:

Step 1: Be aware of your child’s emotions

This means tuning in, even when your child isn’t saying anything out loud. Maybe they suddenly go quiet or throw a toy across the room. These little signs can tell you that your child is feeling something big. Try to stay present and notice what’s going on before the meltdown happens.

Step 2: Use emotional moments as chances to connect

When your child is upset, it’s easy to feel frustrated or want to fix it fast. But this is actually a great time to show them you care. Instead of brushing it off, pause and be with them. Let them know you’re there. That moment of connection builds trust.

Step 3: Listen with empathy and let them know their feelings make sense

Sometimes, all your child wants is to be heard. You don’t need to give advice right away. Just listen and say something like, “That must’ve been really hard,” or “I understand why you feel that way.” When kids feel seen and understood, their emotions often start to settle.

Step 4: Help your child name what they’re feeling

Many kids don’t have the words to explain what’s going on inside. You can help by gently guessing and offering words like “angry,” “sad,” “nervous,” or “disappointed.” Naming feelings helps kids understand them better—and once they understand what they’re feeling, they’re more likely to calm down.

Step 5: Set limits while helping them solve the problem  

It’s okay for your child to feel upset, but that doesn’t mean every reaction is okay. You can say, “It’s fine to feel angry, but hitting isn’t okay.” Then guide them toward a better choice, like taking deep breaths or talking it out. This teaches them healthy ways to cope the next time emotions run high.

Sonia’s Unique Approach

Sonia uses the emotional coaching Gottman method to help people understand emotions and respond to them in a healthy way. In her work with parents, teachers, and caregivers, she focuses on teaching simple steps that make emotional moments easier to manage.

She starts by helping people notice how emotions show up—both in themselves and in children. Then, she teaches how to stay calm and listen first, instead of reacting too quickly. Sonia believes that when adults understand what a child is feeling, it becomes easier to guide them with care and confidence.

Through her coaching programs, Sonia shares ways to talk about feelings, set clear limits without shouting, and support children during hard moments. Her approach is gentle, realistic, and easy to use—even on busy or stressful days.

If you want to try these methods yourself, you can get started with her book. And for those who want extra support, her coaching program offers step-by-step guidance to help you build stronger, more peaceful relationships—whether at home or in the classroom.

Common Myths About Emotional Coaching

You’ve probably heard a few things about emotional coaching that made you pause. Maybe someone said it’s too soft, or that it spoils kids. Let’s clear that up.

“It’s too soft.”

This one comes up a lot. But emotional coaching isn’t about letting kids run the show. It’s about showing up for them, even when emotions are high. Sonia talks about how it is not giving up your role as a parent—you’re just meeting them where they are and guiding them through it.

“It spoils the child.”

Honestly, validating feelings doesn’t spoil anyone. Kids still need boundaries and structure, but they also need to feel safe expressing what’s going on inside. When they feel understood, they’re more likely to listen and cooperate.

“Kids will manipulate you.” 

It's easy to think this when emotions feel dramatic. But most of the time, kids aren’t trying to manipulate. They’re trying to figure things out the only way they know how. When you help them name what they’re feeling, they start learning how to handle those emotions better.

If you want more help figuring this out, Sonia shares real-life stories and guides in her book.

FAQs About Emotion Coaching and the Gottman Method

Do I have to follow all 5 steps perfectly for this to work?

Not at all. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s connection. Some days will go better than others, and that’s completely okay. What matters most is being present and trying to understand your child’s emotions.

What age is emotion coaching for?

Emotional coaching works at any age. You can use it with toddlers, teens, and even in adult relationships. 

Where can I learn more or get support?

Sonia’s book and coaching program are great next steps if you want real life examples, and support. She breaks it all down in a way that’s easy to follow and super practical for everyday parenting.

Takeaway on Emotion Coaching

The Gottman Coaching Method isn’t about fixing your child. It’s about building a relationship that grows stronger with every emotional moment you navigate together.

And the best part? You don’t have to figure it out alone. So relax, you’re not a “bad parent” for not knowing all this before. You’re a better parent now for wanting to learn. We hope this helped you to be better at emotion coaching.

Unlocking Opportunities: Autism Speaks' Empower Summit & Challenge with Sonia Chand

In today's world, where approximately one in 36 children in the U.S. is diagnosed with autism, the community continues to rally for more inclusive and supportive environments. Autism Speaks is taking the lead in this mission by organizing the Empower Summit & Challenge in Chicago next month, designed to uplift the autism community and foster connections between businesses and families affected by autism.

Autism Speaks' Empower Summit & Challenge seeks to uplift community with Good Day Chicago and Sonia Chand

The Purpose of the Summit

The Autism Speaks Empower Summit aims to create pathways for inclusion and support for children with autism. This large-scale event will serve as a networking hub, bridging the gap between businesses and the autism community. By fostering these connections, the summit helps pave the way for a brighter future for those on the spectrum.

Why This Matters

The prevalence of autism diagnoses underscores the importance of community support and resources. By hosting such a summit, Autism Speaks not only raises awareness but also actively contributes to the creation of inclusive opportunities in education, employment, and everyday life.

Getting Involved

Community involvement is crucial to the success of initiatives like the Empower Summit. Businesses are encouraged to participate, offering their resources and expertise to support individuals with autism. Attendees will gain valuable insights on how they can contribute to a more inclusive society.

Conclusion

The Autism Speaks Empower Summit & Challenge is a significant step towards inclusivity for the autism community. It's more than just an event; it's an opportunity to empower lives, inspire change, and foster a supportive network for children and families affected by autism.

For more information, you can read the full coverage on FOX 32 Chicago here.

Autism Speaks: 2025 Empower Summit & Challenge with Sonia Chand

Introduction to the Empower Summit

On April 18, 2025, Autism Speaks kicked off its 20th anniversary celebrations with a remarkable event: the 2025 Empower Summit & Challenge. This transformative two-day event, held on May 2nd and 3rd, was dedicated to enhancing inclusion and sparking meaningful change for individuals within the autism community.

Watch the video from WGN-TV

Keynote Speakers

Sonia Chand

Among the distinguished speakers at the Summit was Sonia Chand, renowned for her advocacy in the autism community. Sonia emphasized the critical need for empowerment and inclusion, urging society to take more decisive steps toward supporting people with autism. Her insights offered valuable perspectives on the continuous journey toward inclusivity.

Ellen Sanders

Ellen Sanders joined Sonia Chand in addressing the audience. She shared her experiences and visions for a future where the autism community is fully integrated into all facets of societal life.

Event Highlights

The Empower Summit & Challenge was not just about speeches; it served as a dynamic platform for networking, sharing knowledge, and fostering collaborations among participants from various sectors. The event's interactive sessions aimed to harness community engagement in driving policy and practice changes beneficial for individuals with autism.

Conclusion

As Autism Speaks celebrates its 20th anniversary, the Empower Summit & Challenge stands as a testament to the organization's enduring commitment to transforming lives through advocacy and support. The Summit's impact continues to resonate as a catalyst for future initiatives towards inclusion and empowerment.

For more information on Autism Speaks and future events, visit their official page: Autism Speaks.

Stay updated on related news and events by following WGN News, and explore more content from their shows and weather updates.

Emotional Coaching for Parents: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids

Table of Contents

Intro

What is Emotional Coaching?

Why Emotional Coaching Matters for Parents

Step-by-Step Guide to Emotional Coaching

• Step 1: Recognize the emotion

• Step 2: Validate their feelings

• Step 3: Name the Emotion

• Step 4: Set Limits (If Needed)

• Step 5: Teach problem-solving

5 Common Mistakes Parents Make

• Ignoring emotions

• Shaming or overreacting

• Jumping into problem-solving too fast

• Thinking big emotions = Bad behavior

• Not talking about emotions openly

FAQs About Emotional Coaching for Parents

• Is emotional coaching only for younger kids?

• How long does it take to see results?

• Can emotional coaching work if I didn’t grow up this way?

• Will this help my child do better in school or with friends?

• Where can I learn more or get help?

Takeaway

Emotional Coaching for Parents: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids

You’ve told your child “calm down” more times than you can count, yet the tears keep coming. It’s clear you love them, but some days feel overwhelming. You’re not a bad parent because your child cries or has big emotions. And you’re not alone in feeling unsure of how to handle it.

Most of us weren’t taught how to manage our own feelings, let alone guide our kids through theirs. That’s where emotional coaching for parents comes in. It’s a simple, powerful way to help your child understand and express their emotions.

And the best part? You don’t need to be an expert to do it. Just a little guidance and a lot of love.

This blogpost will not only tell but will show you how emotional coaching works and how to start using it to raise emotionally strong, confident kids.

What is Emotional Coaching?

Emotional coaching is a way parents help their children understand and manage their feelings. In the simplest form, it’s not about “fixing” emotions. It’s about helping your child name what they feel, understand why they feel that way, and find better ways to handle it. 

So, instead of ignoring or dismissing emotions like anger or sadness, emotional coaching for parents teaches kids that their feelings are okay even the big, messy ones. For example, instead of saying, “Stop crying — it’s not a big deal,” an emotional coach might say, “I see you’re upset. Want to tell me what’s going on?”

This simple shift helps children feel heard, safe, and more in control of their emotions. Over time, they learn how to stay calm, solve problems, and build stronger relationships at home, at school, and in life.

Why Emotional Coaching Matters for Parents

If you’re wondering why emotions coaching for parents matters? Well, it is a perfect way to have the best relationship with your children. Do you want to build connections with your kids? Learn about emotional coaching. This way, you can teach your kids how to understand and manage their feelings, instead of ignoring or suppressing them.

When parents use emotional coaching, they create a safe space for their children to express themselves. This doesn’t just reduce tantrums or meltdowns—it strengthens the bond between parent and child.

5 Common Mistakes Parents Make

Parenting comes with its challenges, and handling your child's emotions can be one of the toughest. While no parent is perfect, recognizing and avoiding common mistakes can make a big difference in fostering a healthy emotional environment. As such, here are five mistakes to watch out for.

Ignoring emotions

Sometimes parents say things like, “You’re fine” or “Stop crying,” thinking they’re helping their child calm down. But when kids hear this, they might feel like their feelings don’t matter. Instead of learning how to understand their emotions, they learn to hide or ignore them. 

Over time, this can make it harder for them to express how they really feel or ask for help when they need it. If you’re unsure how to address this you should register for Sonia's emotional coaching services. She will guide you in building that connection with your child.

Shaming or overreacting

When a child is told things like, “Don’t be such a baby,” or if an adult yells when they cry, the child may feel ashamed for being emotional. They might start to believe that having strong feelings like this is something to be embarrassed about. This can lead to low self-esteem, and they may stop reaching out to adults when they’re struggling, thinking their emotions are wrong or bad.

Jumping into problem-solving too fast

Parents often want to help right away by fixing the problem. While that comes from a good place, it can make a child feel like their emotions are being skipped over. Sometimes, kids don’t want solutions right away, they just want to feel heard and understood. If we rush to fix things, they might stop sharing their problems because they feel dismissed or rushed. 

Thinking big emotions = Bad behavior

It’s easy to see a child yelling or crying and assume they’re misbehaving. But many times, kids have big feelings they don’t know how to handle. They might be tired, hungry, overstimulated, or just overwhelmed. When adults label these reactions as “naughty,” it teaches kids to feel bad for something they haven’t learned to manage yet. What they need is support, not punishment.

Not talking about emotions openly

Kids learn how to handle emotions by watching the adults around them. If emotions are always hidden or ignored at home, kids may believe they should keep everything inside too. When adults name their feelings like saying, “I feel a bit frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath” kids learn that feelings are normal and there are healthy ways to deal with them.

The good news? With emotional coaching, you can avoid these mistakes and help your child feel safe, understood, and supported.

Step-by-Step Guide to Emotional Coaching

Just so you know, emotional coaching isn’t about fixing your child’s feelings. It’s about guiding them through those feelings with care, patience, and support. When you follow a few simple steps, you help your child feel safe, seen, and understood, even during tough moments.

Step 1: Recognize the emotion

Pay attention to your child’s body language, tone, or behavior. Sometimes kids don’t say they’re upset, they show it. This step is about tuning in and being present.

Step 2: Validate their feelings

Before giving advice or setting limits, connect with your child emotionally. It is important to show empathy. A simple “I see you’re feeling sad” or “That must have been hard” can go a long way. They are kids and most times do not need your advice.

Step 3: Name the emotion

Once you have validated their feelings, help your child put their feelings into words. You might say, “It sounds like you’re frustrated because your toy broke.” Naming emotions builds emotional awareness and helps kids feel understood.

Step 4: Set limits (If needed)

Feeling angry is okay however hitting isn’t. Let your child know it’s safe to feel any emotion, but not every behavior is okay. For example:

“It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hit. Let’s talk about what else we can do.”

Step 5: Teach problem-solving

Once your child is calm, help them think of ways to handle the situation next time. Ask questions like:

“What do you think we can do if this happens again?”

This helps them learn how to manage emotions in real-life situations.

FAQs about emotional coaching for parents

Is emotional coaching only for younger kids?

No. Emotional coaching works for kids of all ages, even teens and adults. It’s never too late to start helping your child build emotional strength.

Do I need to be a therapist to use emotional coaching?

Not at all. Emotional coaching is for parents, not just professionals. You don’t need special training.You can just get this book to get started. .

How long does it take to see results?

Every child is different. Some may respond quickly, while others take more time. The key is to be consistent and supportive.

Can emotional coaching work if I didn’t grow up this way?

Absolutely. Many parents are learning emotional skills for the first time. You’re breaking a cycle and teaching your child something powerful.

Will this help my child do better in school or with friends?

Yes. Kids with strong emotional skills tend to have better focus, relationships, and confidence. Emotional intelligence supports success in all areas of life.

Where can I learn more or get help?

You can check out Dropped in a Maze, take an emotional coaching service, or join parenting workshops. You don’t have to figure it out alone.

Takeaway

Raising emotionally aware kids isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being emotionally present. Emotional coaching for parents gives you the tools to do that in a simple, loving way.

Every time you pause to understand instead of react, you’re helping your child build lifelong emotional strength. If you want to learn how to bring this into your daily parenting without stress, Sonia’s book breaks it down into easy steps you can start using right away.

https://www.soniakrishnachand.com/blog/emotional-coaching-parents-guide

World Autism Awareness Day 2025: How We Celebrate

Every year on April 2nd, the United Nations established World Autism Awareness Day to promote understanding, inclusion, and support for individuals with autism. This day is a beacon of hope and advocacy for millions.

History and Significance

World Autism Awareness Day was established to highlight the need for improved quality of life for those with autism. The goal is to foster an environment where sufferers are accepted and celebrated for their unique perspectives.

Tips for Support and Inclusion

• Employers: Create inclusive hiring practices that are autism-friendly.

• Educators: Use tailored teaching techniques to support diverse learners.

• Community Members: Participate in autism-friendly community events.

FAQs and Clarifications

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)?

Autism is a developmental disorder affecting communication and behavior. Although autism can be diagnosed at any age, it is said to be a developmental disorder because symptoms generally appear in the first two years of life.

What are the typical characteristics?

People with autism may face challenges with communication, restricted interests, and repetitive behaviors, yet many also have exceptional strengths and abilities. [Source: American Psychological Association]

How prevalent is autism globally?

• Approximately 1 in 100 children worldwide are affected by autism. [Source: World Health Organization, 2021]

• In the United States, 1 in 36 children were identified with autism as of 2023, according to the CDC.

Autism by the Numbers

Statistics

U.S. children diagnosed with autism (2023).

1 in 36, a notable increase illustrating greater awareness and detection. Frequency in boys vs. girls. Boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed than girls.

Adult employment rates for individuals with ASD. Only about 16% are in full-time paid jobs, highlighting the need for enhanced employment support [Source: National Autistic Society]

Strategies to Create an Inclusive Society

• Workplace Inclusivity: Companies can embrace autism-friendly policies, promoting neurodiversity in their workforce.

• Educational Adjustments: Tailored learning plans and sensory-friendly classrooms can make significant differences.

• Community Engagement: Participate in local autism walks, fundraisers, and events to show continuous support.

Through education, active participation, and supportive policies, World Autism Awareness Day serves as an annual anchor in our collective effort toward a more inclusive society. Let's pledge today not only to increase awareness but to take concrete steps towards empowering those on the autism spectrum.

World Autism Awareness Day is not just about raising awareness but also about fostering solidarity and action. By contributing to a more inclusive society, we honor those with autism and reaffirm our commitment to equality and understanding.