How Caregivers of Neurodivergent Loved Ones Can Reclaim Their Well-Being
Table of Contents
Intro
The Missing Piece in Support Systems: Caring for the Caregiver
Meeting Caregivers Where They Are: The Power of Emotional Check-Ins
Naming Burnout: Recognizing the Warning Signs Before Crisis
What Sensory Self-Care Is and Why It Works
The Power of Community
Inclusi: A Caregiver Support Space Created by Eleonora
Humility in Care: What Professionals Need to Understand
Grief, Guilt, and Emotional Space: Allowing Caregivers to Feel
The Caregiver Balance Sheet: A Practical Tool for Rebuilding Stability
Conclusion
How Caregivers of Neurodivergent Loved Ones Can Reclaim Their Well-Being
There's an invisible weight that caregivers carry. It sits on their shoulders quietly, growing heavier with each passing day. For those caring for neurodivergent children or adults, this weight includes not just the practical tasks of daily life but also the emotional labor that nobody sees.
Eleonora Magri understands this weight intimately. Through her work with Inclusi, she's made it her mission to support caregivers who are often forgotten in the conversation about neurodivergent care. And here's the uncomfortable truth: burnout among caregivers is incredibly common, yet it's rarely talked about until someone reaches a breaking point.
This matters because when caregivers crash, entire families feel the impact. The good news? There are practical, accessible ways to prevent that crash and reclaim your well-being.
The Missing Piece in Support Systems: Caring for the Caregiver
Why Caregiver Support Is Often Neglected
When a family has a neurodivergent member, most of the attention naturally flows toward that person. Therapy appointments, educational plans, medical visits, behavioral strategies. The calendar fills up. The mental load grows. And somewhere in all of this, the caregiver's needs quietly slip into the background.
It's not intentional. Nobody wakes up thinking, "Let's ignore what the caregiver needs today." But it happens anyway. The system is designed to focus on the person receiving care, which makes sense on the surface. But this approach misses something crucial.
Eleonora's Argument: Caregiver Well-Being Must Come First
Eleonora flips the script entirely. She argues that caregiver well-being isn't just important. It's foundational. Think about it like the safety demonstration on an airplane. You put on your own oxygen mask first, then help others. The same principle applies here.
When caregivers are running on empty, physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and mentally overwhelmed, they can't provide the quality of care their loved ones need. It's not a moral failing. It's basic human biology. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Here's what Eleonora makes clear: caregiver health directly impacts outcomes for the entire family. A caregiver who has space to breathe, rest, and recharge brings more patience, creativity, and resilience to their caregiving role. When we support caregivers, we support everyone in the family system.
Meeting Caregivers Where They Are: The Power of Emotional Check-Ins
This seems like such a simple question, but it's rarely asked with genuine intention. Professionals working with families often jump straight into problem-solving mode. What's the behavior we need to address? What strategies should we try? What's the next goal?
But Eleonora encourages a different starting point: pause and check in with the caregiver first. Not a surface-level "How are you?" that invites an automatic "I'm fine." A real check-in. How are you sleeping? When did you last do something just for yourself? What does your stress level feel like right now?
Caregivers also need to regularly take their own emotional temperature. It's easy to push through day after day without stopping to notice that you're running on fumes. Regular check-ins help you catch problems before they become crises.
No One-Size-Fits-All Approach
Here's something important that Eleonora emphasizes: your capacity changes. What you could handle last week might feel impossible today. You might have energy for a challenging therapy session on Tuesday but need to reschedule by Thursday. That's not weakness. That's being human.
Emotional readiness, mental capacity, and stress levels fluctuate. They're influenced by sleep, physical health, other life stressors, and a hundred other factors. When professionals and caregivers alike respect this natural variability, care plans become more realistic and sustainable. Compassion replaces rigid expectations.
Magri breaks down how to approach check-ins with compassion. Hear her explain it on the podcast.
Naming Burnout: Recognizing the Warning Signs Before Crisis
Burnout doesn't announce itself with a dramatic entrance. It creeps in quietly through small changes that are easy to dismiss. Eleonora points to several warning signs that caregivers commonly overlook:
Your sleep becomes disrupted. Maybe you can't fall asleep because your mind won't stop racing through tomorrow's to-do list. Or you wake up multiple times during the night. Or you sleep but wake up exhausted.
You stop taking care of your own health. Skipping meals becomes normal. You can't remember the last time you went to the doctor for yourself. That nagging pain? You'll deal with it later.
Hobbies disappear. Activities you used to enjoy feel like too much effort. Your social life shrinks to nothing because you don't have the energy to maintain friendships.
Everything feels overwhelming. Small tasks feel monumental. Decision fatigue is constant. Even choosing what to make for dinner feels exhausting.
And perhaps most tellingly, you feel guilty whenever you rest. Taking time for yourself feels selfish. You tell yourself your needs can wait.
Why Caregivers Downplay Their Own Exhaustion
There's a deep conditioning at play here. Many caregivers have internalized the belief that their needs are less urgent, less important, less worthy of attention. After all, their loved one has significant challenges. Who are they to complain about being tired?
This thinking is understandable but dangerous. It creates a hierarchy of suffering where caregivers consistently place themselves at the bottom. They're trained to prioritize others at all costs, even when that cost is their own health and well-being.
Why Naming Burnout Is the First Step to Preventing Collapse
When you can name something, you can address it. Burnout thrives in the shadows, in the space of "I'm just tired" or "Everyone feels this way." But when you look at the signs clearly and say, "This is burnout," you give yourself permission to take action.
Naming it isn't about being dramatic or seeking attention. It's about being honest. And that honesty creates the foundation for change. You can't solve a problem you won't acknowledge exists.
If you suspect you're burning out, this episode is a must-listen. Eleonora walks through the signs you should never ignore.
What Sensory Self-Care Is and Why It Works
Eleonora introduces a concept that many caregivers haven't considered: sensory self-care. This isn't about bubble baths and spa days, though those are nice if you have access to them. It's about understanding how your nervous system responds to sensory input and using that knowledge to help yourself regulate.
When you're constantly in fight-or-flight mode, responding to crisis after crisis, your nervous system gets stuck in a state of high alert. Sensory self-care helps bring you back down. It signals to your body that you're safe, that you can relax, that the emergency is over.
The beauty of this approach is that it doesn't require expensive products or hours of free time. It's about intentionally creating moments that soothe your nervous system.
Practical Sensory Strategies
What does this look like in practice? Eleonora offers several accessible options:
Sitting in a dim, quiet room for even just five minutes. Lowering visual and auditory stimulation gives your brain a break from processing constant input.
Listening to soft, calming sounds. This could be nature sounds, gentle music, or even white noise. Whatever your nervous system finds soothing.
Using weighted items. A heavy blanket, a weighted lap pad, or even just a heavy pillow across your legs can provide grounding pressure that many people find calming.
Gentle movement. Not intense exercise, but slow, mindful movement like stretching, walking, or swaying.
Breathing exercises. Deep, slow breathing directly impacts your nervous system, moving you from a stressed state to a calmer one.
Making Self-Care Accessible
Notice what all these strategies have in common. They're low-cost or free. They don't require special equipment. They can fit into tiny pockets of time. You don't need to overhaul your entire life or find an extra two hours in your day.
This accessibility matters tremendously. Self-care shouldn't be something that only people with money and time can access. It should be available to everyone, especially those who need it most.
Building Sustainable Self-Care Habits
Here's where many people get stuck with self-care. They think about it as adding entirely new tasks to an already overwhelming schedule. No wonder it feels impossible.
Eleonora teaches a different approach called habit stacking. Instead of creating new time in your day, you attach self-care practices to routines you're already doing. This makes consistency dramatically easier because you're not relying purely on motivation or remembering to do something new.
The existing habit acts as a trigger for the new one. Your brain already knows the pattern, so you're just adding one more link to the chain.
Consistency Over Duration
Another common misconception about self-care is that it needs to be lengthy to be effective. People think they need an hour-long routine or it doesn't count. This all-or-nothing thinking keeps people from doing anything at all.
Eleonora flips this narrative. Small, repeatable actions create long-term impact. Five minutes of breathwork every day does more for you than a two-hour spa visit once every six months. Consistency beats duration every time.
You don't need to clear your schedule. You need to find tiny moments and use them intentionally.
Examples of Simple Habit Stacks
What does this look like practically?
Take three deep breaths before you brush your teeth in the morning. You're already at the sink twice a day. Use that time.
Do a quick stretch routine before you get in the shower. You're already taking off your clothes. Add thirty seconds of movement.
Sit in your car for five minutes of silence after you arrive home but before you go inside. The transition is already happening. Make it intentional.
Notice how none of these require finding new time or buying anything. They simply make existing moments do double duty.
Eleonora explains how she teaches caregivers to build micro-habits. Listen to the interview here.
The Power of Community
Caregiving for a neurodivergent loved one can feel profoundly lonely. Even when surrounded by people, many caregivers feel isolated. Why? Because their daily reality is hard for others to understand.
Friends who don't have similar experiences often don't know what to say. Well-meaning relatives might offer advice that completely misses the mark. People stop inviting you to things because you've had to cancel so many times. Slowly, your world gets smaller.
The challenges you face daily are things most people can't relate to. They don't understand the complexity, the constant vigilance, the emotional load that comes with anticipating needs and preventing crises.
Creating Your Village
The old saying is true: it takes a village. But in modern life, villages don't just appear. You have to build them intentionally. Eleonora emphasizes that community isn't optional. It's essential for sustainable caregiving.
Your village might include peer support groups where other caregivers truly understand what you're going through. These connections provide both emotional support and practical advice from people who've been there.
Online communities can be lifesavers, especially for those with limited local resources or mobility challenges. The internet has created spaces where caregivers can connect at midnight when they can't sleep, ask questions at 3 AM, and find support without leaving home.
Local organizations focused on neurodivergent support often have resources for families and opportunities to connect with others in your area.
And don't underestimate the power of practical help. Trading childcare with another family, sharing meal prep duties, or coordinating grocery runs might sound simple, but these small acts of mutual support can significantly lighten the load.
Inclusi: A Caregiver Support Space Created by Eleonora
This is why Eleonora founded Inclusi. She saw a gap in support and decided to fill it. Inclusi creates space for caregivers to feel seen, heard, and supported. It's built on the understanding that caregiver well-being isn't a luxury or an afterthought. It's central to everything.
Through Inclusi, caregivers gain access to resources, community, and the reminder that they're not alone in this journey.
Discover how Inclusi helps caregivers feel supported. Eleonora talks about it deeply in the podcast episode.
Humility in Care: What Professionals Need to Understand
Eleonora has an important message for professionals working with families of neurodivergent individuals. No matter how much training you have or how many families you've worked with, you cannot assume you understand what any individual caregiver is experiencing internally.
Each family is different. Each caregiver brings their own history, trauma, strengths, and limitations. Approaching families with humility, with a genuine not-knowing stance, builds trust in ways that expertise alone cannot.
This means starting sessions by checking in with the caregiver's emotional state before diving into the work. It means asking questions instead of making assumptions. It means respecting when a caregiver says they're at capacity, even if you think the intervention is important.
Practitioners Must Care for Themselves Too
Here's another truth Eleonora emphasizes: burnt-out professionals cannot provide quality care. If you're working in this field and ignoring your own needs, pushing through exhaustion, and telling yourself you'll rest later, you're not just hurting yourself. You're limiting what you can offer the families you serve.
Healthy professionals bring more presence, creativity, and compassion to their work. They have the capacity to truly see the families in front of them rather than just going through the motions.
Self-care for professionals isn't selfish. It's a professional responsibility.
Grief, Guilt, and Emotional Space: Allowing Caregivers to Feel
Caregiving brings up complicated feelings that people don't always know how to process. Eleonora talks about the importance of acknowledging these emotions without judgment.
There's grief. Grief for the life you imagined before diagnosis. Grief for the experiences your child might not have. Grief for your own lost opportunities. This grief is real and valid, and it can coexist with deep love for your family member.
There's guilt. Guilt for feeling tired. Guilt for wanting time alone. Guilt for occasionally resenting your caregiving role. Guilt for not being enough, even when you're giving everything you have.
There's shame. Shame for needing help. Shame for struggling when you think you should be stronger. Shame for the complicated emotions you can't control.
Creating Space to Feel Without Judgment
What if you could feel all of these things without it meaning you're a bad caregiver? What if grief, guilt, and frustration were simply part of the human experience of caregiving, not evidence of failure?
Eleonora emphasizes that emotional honesty makes caregiving more sustainable. When you allow yourself to feel what you feel without piling judgment on top, you create space for those emotions to move through you rather than getting stuck and festering.
Feeling your emotions isn't the problem. Feeling them doesn't make you selfish or ungrateful. It makes you human.
The way Eleonora explains caregiver guilt is eye-opening. Listen to the podcast for her full breakdown.
The Caregiver Balance Sheet: A Practical Tool for Rebuilding Stability
Eleonora introduces a practical tool called the Caregiver Balance Sheet. It's beautifully simple in concept but powerful in impact.
The balance sheet helps you track the energy and time you spend on yourself versus what you spend on others. Most caregivers, when they first do this exercise, are shocked by the imbalance. They might see that 95% of their energy goes outward and only 5% comes back to them.
Making this visible is the first step toward changing it. You can't rebalance something if you don't know it's out of balance in the first place.
Why It Works
The balance sheet moves self-care from an abstract concept to something measurable and concrete. Instead of vaguely knowing you should take care of yourself, you can see exactly where you need to make changes.
It helps you reclaim a sense of control. When caregiving feels overwhelming and endless, having a tool that shows you concrete information about where your energy goes can feel empowering. You can make informed decisions about what to adjust.
How to Access It
The Caregiver Balance Sheet is available through Inclusi. It's designed to be simple and intuitive, something you can start using immediately without a learning curve.
Tools like this work because they meet caregivers where they are. They don't require you to figure everything out on your own or completely restructure your life before you can begin.
Conclusion
If you're a caregiver reading this, here's what I want you to know: you deserve rest. You deserve support. You deserve compassion, especially from yourself.
The path from burnout to balance isn't about making dramatic changes overnight. It's about small, sustainable steps. It's about acknowledging your needs instead of dismissing them. It's about building tiny habits that support your nervous system. It's about finding your people and letting them help carry the load.
Eleonora's work reminds us that caring for yourself isn't selfish and you're not alone in this. There are tools, communities, and people who understand. You don't have to figure it all out by yourself.
Ready to Hear the Full Conversation and Start Your Journey from Burnout to Balance?
