What Friendship Looks Like When You’re on the Autism Spectrum
Table of Contents
Intro
Understanding the Spectrum Beyond the Stereotypes
The Challenge and Beauty of Friendships on the Spectrum
Life Lessons from the Spectrum
Empowerment through Storytelling
What We Can All Learn, Even If We’re Not on the Spectrum
Conclusion
What Friendship Looks Like When You’re on the Autism Spectrum
In this episode of On the Spectrum Empowerment Stories, host Sonia Krishna Chand sits down with Marccella Gonzalez for a real and open chat. Both women are on the autism spectrum, and they talk about what friendship, life lessons, and personal growth look like for them.
This is not a formal or clinical discussion. It feels more like two friends sharing what life is really like, the good and the hard parts. They laugh, reflect, and remind listeners that it’s okay to be different.
The conversation shows how powerful it is when people share their stories. It helps others feel seen and understood.
So what happens when two autistic women sit down to talk about friendship and growth? You get honesty, laughter, and lessons that anyone can learn from, whether they are neurodivergent or not.
Understanding the Spectrum Beyond the Stereotypes
When people hear the word autism, many still imagine only one kind of person or behavior. But the truth is, autism looks different for everyone. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) simply means a different way of seeing, feeling, and interacting with the world. It is not an illness that needs to be cured. It is not something broken. It is a part of how a person’s brain works and how they experience life.
In the podcast, Sonia Krishna Chand and Marccella Gonzalez talk about this with honesty and warmth. They both believe that autism is part of who they are, not something to fix or hide. Instead of seeing it as a weakness, they see it as a part of their identity that brings both challenges and strengths. For example, someone on the spectrum might notice details others miss, feel emotions deeply, or have a strong sense of honesty and creativity. These are qualities to value and celebrate.
One important part of their discussion is something called masking. Masking happens when autistic people try to hide their true behaviors or feelings in order to fit into social situations. They might copy how others talk, laugh at the right times, or pretend to be comfortable when they are actually overwhelmed. While masking can help them get through certain moments, it can also be exhausting. Over time, it can lead to anxiety, stress, and even burnout because it takes so much energy to pretend to be someone else.
Sonia and Marccella explain that learning to understand yourself is the first step toward peace and confidence. When you know what makes you comfortable, what triggers stress, and what brings you joy, you can live more freely. Self-understanding helps you build a life that fits who you are instead of forcing yourself into spaces that do not feel right.
Their conversation reminds listeners that autism is not about limits. It is about learning how your unique mind works and allowing yourself to live truthfully. Once that happens, acceptance becomes easier, and life begins to feel lighter and more authentic.
The Challenge and Beauty of Friendships on the Spectrum
Friendship can be a beautiful part of life, but for people on the autism spectrum, it often comes with its own set of challenges and lessons. In the podcast, Sonia and Marccella talk about how friendships are not always easy to form or maintain, yet they are deeply meaningful when they work. Their conversation paints a real and heartfelt picture of what friendship looks like through an autistic lens.
A. Making and Maintaining Friendships
For many autistic people, social expectations can be confusing or even draining. Things that seem simple to others, like knowing when to speak, how to respond to jokes, or when to hug someone, may not always come naturally. Sonia and Marccella explain that friendship for them is not something that just happens automatically. It requires effort, honesty, and mutual respect.
Here are a few reasons why forming and keeping friendships can feel challenging:
Difficulty reading social cues: It can be hard to tell when someone is joking, serious, or upset.
Misunderstandings: A straightforward comment might be taken the wrong way, or silence might be seen as disinterest when it’s actually just comfort in quietness.
Need for alone time: Social interactions can take a lot of energy, so many autistic people need time to rest and recharge afterward.
Despite these challenges, both women share that friendship can still be deeply fulfilling. When people communicate clearly and accept each other’s differences, friendships can grow stronger and more genuine.
B. When Friendships Change or Fade
Sometimes friendships drift apart, and that can be painful for anyone. But for someone on the spectrum, it can feel especially confusing or heavy. Sonia and Marccella talk about how easy it is to blame yourself when a friendship ends. You might replay conversations in your mind, wondering what you did wrong.
They remind listeners that part of growing up is learning to let go of guilt. Friendships change for many reasons, and it is not always anyone’s fault. Instead of feeling ashamed or defeated, they encourage focusing on boundaries and self-care. It is okay to recognize when a friendship no longer feels healthy or when you need space. Learning without guilt means understanding that taking care of yourself is not selfish.
C. Finding Safe and Supportive Connections
One of the most powerful points in the conversation is about finding community. Sonia and Marccella describe how connecting with other autistic people feels freeing. There is comfort in being around people who understand your experiences without you having to explain or hide parts of yourself.
They talk about how shared stories can heal and bring people together. When one person speaks openly about their challenges or joys, it gives others the courage to do the same. As Sonia beautifully says, “When we share our stories, we realize we’re not alone.”
Friendship, in the end, is not about fitting into a mold. It is about finding people who make you feel seen, respected, and accepted just as you are. For autistic individuals, these friendships might take time to build, but they are often some of the most genuine and lasting ones of all.
The conversation between Sonia and Marccella is full of wisdom and gentle reminders about what it means to truly know and accept yourself. Through their personal stories, they share lessons that go beyond autism. These are lessons about self-acceptance, balance, and living life in a way that feels right for you.
Life Lessons from the Spectrum
The conversation between Sonia and Marccella is full of wisdom and gentle reminders about what it means to truly know and accept yourself. Through their personal stories, they share lessons that go beyond autism. These are lessons about self-acceptance, balance, and living life in a way that feels right for you.
A. Self-Acceptance Is a Process
Sonia and Marccella both remind listeners that self-acceptance does not happen in one day. It is a process that takes time, patience, and a lot of self-discovery. They explain that understanding your personal triggers, needs, and strengths is the first step. Once you begin to see what works for you and what doesn’t, life becomes a little easier to manage.
For example, you might realize that certain environments make you anxious or that too much noise overwhelms you. Knowing these things helps you make choices that protect your peace. Both women also talk about celebrating small wins, like getting through a social event comfortably or finding a new coping tool that helps.
They also discuss unmasking, which means slowly learning to stop hiding your true self to please others. Unmasking safely means choosing environments and people who make you feel safe to be yourself. This kind of acceptance grows over time, but every small step counts.
B. Coping Strategies that Work
Throughout the episode, Sonia and Marccella share practical ways to handle everyday challenges. They don’t claim to have all the answers, but their advice comes from real experience. Here are some of the coping strategies they talk about or imply:
Build routines that respect your sensory needs: Having structure helps reduce anxiety. This could mean planning quiet time after work, avoiding bright or noisy spaces, or keeping familiar items that bring comfort.
Communicate boundaries clearly: Let friends and family know what makes you comfortable and what doesn’t. Being honest about your needs can help prevent misunderstandings and build stronger, more respectful relationships.
Give yourself permission to rest: It is perfectly okay to say no to social events or take breaks when you need them. Resting is not laziness. It is a form of self-care that helps you stay balanced and emotionally healthy.
These small but powerful strategies show that managing life on the spectrum is about creating habits that support who you are, not forcing yourself to live like everyone else.
C. Redefining “Normal”
One of the most inspiring messages in their discussion is the idea of redefining what “normal” means. Sonia and Marccella remind us that there is no single way to live or make friends. Everyone’s version of happiness and success looks different.
For them, thriving does not mean fitting in or following what society expects. It means living a life that feels true, peaceful, and fulfilling. It means having friendships that accept differences, routines that bring comfort, and goals that reflect your personal journey.
Their message is clear: being different does not make you less. It just means your path looks unique, and that is something to be proud of.
Empowerment through Storytelling
One of the most powerful parts of Sonia and Marccella’s conversation is how their stories create space for others to be seen and understood. When people on the autism spectrum share their experiences, they do more than tell personal stories. They help others learn, feel less alone, and challenge the stereotypes that have existed for too long.
For a long time, autistic voices, especially those of women, have not been heard enough. Many women on the spectrum are underdiagnosed or misunderstood, often because their symptoms look different from what people expect. Some learn to “mask” so well that others don’t realize how hard they are working just to fit in. By speaking openly, Sonia and Marccella give those silent experiences a voice. They show that autism has many faces, and each one deserves to be recognized and respected.
Their conversation also highlights the importance of visibility and representation. When more autistic people, particularly women, share their stories, it helps change how society understands autism. It teaches both neurodivergent and neurotypical communities that there is no single way to be “normal.” Everyone has a unique story, and every story matters.
Being open about personal struggles and growth builds empathy. It allows others to listen without judgment and encourages honesty about things that are often kept hidden. Sonia and Marccella’s openness helps others feel safe to be themselves, too. When people hear stories that reflect their own experiences, it can bring relief, hope, and confidence.
Their message is simple but strong: every time someone tells their story, they make it easier for the next person to do the same. As Sonia beautifully puts it,
“When you tell your story, you’re not just helping yourself. You’re lighting the path for someone else.”
What We Can All Learn, Even If We’re Not on the Spectrum
Even if you are not on the autism spectrum, there is so much to learn from Sonia and Marccella’s conversation. Their stories are not only about autism but about being human — learning, growing, and trying to connect with others in an honest way. The lessons they share can help anyone build better, kinder relationships.
Here are some of the universal lessons from their talk:
1. Be patient with differences
Everyone experiences the world differently. Some people may take longer to respond, need more space, or communicate in a way that feels unfamiliar. Instead of rushing to judge or correct, practice patience. Give people time to express themselves. You never know what they might be dealing with inside.
2. Listen more than you assume
Sometimes we think we know what someone is feeling or trying to say, but we don’t always get it right. Sonia and Marccella remind us that listening with an open heart matters more than assuming we already understand. Ask questions, pay attention, and be willing to learn from others’ experiences.
3. Friendship isn’t about sameness; it’s about respect and understanding
The strongest friendships are not built on being exactly alike. They grow when people accept and appreciate each other’s differences. Real connection happens when we respect boundaries, honor feelings, and show up with kindness.
Their stories encourage us to see friendship and human connection in a new light. Every person you meet has a unique way of thinking, feeling, and expressing love. When you approach relationships with empathy and curiosity, you open the door to deeper understanding.
Whether or not you are on the spectrum, we can all try to make the world a gentler place — one where people feel safe to be themselves and where friendship is built on care, not perfection.
Conclusion
Sonia and Marccella’s conversation is a beautiful reminder of what courage looks like. It takes strength to speak openly about personal experiences, especially in a world that often misunderstands what it means to live on the autism spectrum. By sharing their stories, they give hope and confidence to others who may be walking a similar path.
Their honesty shows that autism is not a limitation. It is simply a different way of seeing and experiencing the world. Through their words, we learn that friendship, self-acceptance, and growth look different for everyone, and that is perfectly okay. Their stories prove that every person, no matter how they think or feel, has something valuable to bring into the world.
At its heart, this conversation is not just about autism. It is about what it means to be human, learning, connecting, and embracing who we truly are.
If you enjoyed this reflection and want to hear the full conversation, listen to the podcast episode “Just Two Girls Discussing Autism Spectrum Disorder, Friendships, and Navigating Life Lessons” on On the Spectrum Empowerment Stories with Sonia Krishna Chand.
