Breaking the Stigma of ABA
Table of Contents
Intro
Understanding the Stigma Around ABA
Reframing ABA: From Control to Collaboration
The Power of Lived Experience in Practice
What Ethical ABA Looks Like
Bridging the Gap: Practitioners and the Neurodivergent Community
Practical Takeaways for Parents, Practitioners, and Neurodivergent Individuals
Why This Conversation Matters
Conclusion
Breaking the Stigma of ABA
If you’ve ever heard about Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), you probably know it’s a type of therapy often used to support people on the autism spectrum. In simple terms, ABA focuses on understanding behaviors—why they happen—and finding ways to teach helpful skills or replace harmful habits.
But here’s the thing: ABA isn’t without controversy. Some families say it’s changed their lives for the better, helping their children communicate, build confidence, and thrive. Others, especially many autistic adults, share painful experiences from older methods of ABA that felt too rigid or focused more on “fixing” them instead of supporting who they truly are.
That’s why it’s time to have a fresh, honest conversation about what ABA really is and what it can be when done with respect and compassion.
Understanding the Stigma Around ABA
To understand why so many people have mixed feelings about ABA, it helps to look at where it all began. When ABA first became popular, it was often used in a way that focused mainly on compliance. The goal was to get autistic children to act more “typical” by rewarding certain behaviors and discouraging others.
While this approach sometimes produced quick results, it also came at a cost. Many people who went through early ABA describe feeling like they were being trained rather than supported. They were praised for making eye contact or sitting still, but not always for expressing their true feelings or being themselves. Over time, this created lasting emotional pain for some.
Today, a lot of neurodivergent adults who experienced those older methods are speaking up. They talk about how ABA made them feel like who they were was wrong or something that needed to be fixed. For many, that experience left deep scars and has shaped how they view the therapy even now.
It’s important to listen to these stories and take them seriously. Acknowledging this pain is not about blaming anyone. It’s about understanding what went wrong so the same mistakes aren’t repeated. Only when we truly recognize and validate those experiences can trust be rebuilt between the autism community and the professionals who want to help.
In the episode, Britney and Ashton talk candidly about how ABA’s past shaped today’s stigma. Hear their personal take here.
Reframing ABA: From Control to Collaboration
One of the biggest messages Britney and Ashton shared in the podcast is that ABA needs to move away from control and toward collaboration. In the past, many ABA programs were built around strict rules and compliance. The therapist decided what behaviors were “good” or “bad,” and the goal was to shape the person to fit into what society considered “normal.”
But the modern approach they describe is completely different. Instead of trying to control how someone behaves, it focuses on working with the person to understand their needs, motivations, and feelings. Collaboration and consent are at the center of this new way of thinking.
Britney and Ashton explain that true progress happens when the person receiving support feels seen and respected. It means giving them a voice in their own therapy and allowing them to make choices about what they want to work on. For example, rather than focusing on reducing “hand flapping” or “avoiding stimming,” a therapist might ask, “What helps you feel calm when you’re overwhelmed?” or “Would you like to find other ways to express that feeling?” This simple shift transforms therapy from being about control to being about empowerment.
They also highlight the importance of person-centered goals. Every individual is unique, and so are their challenges and strengths. ABA should focus on skills that truly improve quality of life, like learning how to communicate needs clearly, manage emotions, build social confidence, or handle daily routines more independently. When goals are meaningful and relevant, therapy feels supportive rather than restrictive.
Another key point they emphasize is transparency. Families and clients should always know what is being done, why it is being done, and how progress is measured. Open communication builds trust and helps everyone feel like part of the same team.
As Britney and Ashton put it in the podcast, “ABA should be about supporting someone’s quality of life, not forcing them to fit a mold.” Their message is clear: when ABA is built on respect, consent, and collaboration, it becomes more than therapy—it becomes a partnership that helps people thrive.
The Power of Lived Experience in Practice
One of the most powerful things about the conversation in Breaking the Stigma of ABA is that both guests, Britney Smith and Ashton Benedikt, bring something very special to the table—lived experience. Britney has ADHD, and Ashton is autistic. This means they don’t just understand ABA from textbooks or training manuals; they understand it from the inside out. They know what it feels like to be neurodivergent, to see the world differently, and to sometimes struggle in environments that aren’t built for that difference.
Their personal experiences give them a unique kind of empathy that can’t be taught in a classroom. When Britney works with someone who finds it hard to focus, she knows firsthand how it feels when your brain moves faster than your surroundings. When Ashton supports an autistic child who’s struggling with sensory overload, he understands what it’s like when certain sounds or lights become too much. This shared understanding helps them connect on a deeper level with their clients and build trust more easily.
They also help bridge an important gap that often exists between practitioners and the neurodivergent community. In the past, many therapies were developed and led by people who weren’t neurodivergent themselves. This sometimes created a disconnect, because the therapy might have been based on assumptions rather than real experiences. Britney and Ashton are helping to change that. Their voices show that neurodivergent professionals can shape the field from the inside, making it more respectful, informed, and compassionate.
They believe that neurodivergent voices are essential in shaping ethical ABA. When people who have actually lived through these challenges help design and deliver therapy, the approach becomes more authentic. It becomes less about “fixing” someone and more about supporting them to live comfortably and confidently as who they are.
Their stories remind us that ABA doesn’t have to be one-sided. It can be a shared journey, built on mutual understanding and respect.
What Ethical ABA Looks Like
When Britney and Ashton talk about ethical ABA, they’re not just talking about following rules or meeting professional standards. They’re talking about creating a kind of therapy that honors the person’s humanity, individuality, and freedom to make choices. To them, ethics in ABA means treating the person not as a project to be “fixed,” but as a whole human being who deserves respect and understanding.
A big part of ethical practice is respecting autonomy and self-determination. This means giving people the power to make choices about their own therapy. For example, a therapist might ask, “What do you want to work on?” or “Does this goal feel helpful to you?” Instead of forcing progress that feels uncomfortable, they work together to set goals that actually matter to the person.
Another key part of ethical ABA is checking in regularly about how things are going. Britney and Ashton stress that therapy shouldn’t be something that’s just done to someone. It should be done with them. This means regularly asking for feedback: “Do you like how this is going?” “Is there something you want to change?” These small conversations build trust and make sure the person feels heard throughout the process.
They also point out the importance of avoiding masking. Masking happens when a neurodivergent person tries to hide their natural behaviors to appear more “normal.” While this might make them fit in better for a moment, it often leads to burnout, anxiety, and low self-esteem in the long run. Ethical ABA supports people in understanding and managing their behaviors in ways that feel authentic, rather than teaching them to hide who they are.
Finally, Britney and Ashton emphasize that success should be measured by comfort, growth, and happiness, not just compliance. Progress isn’t only about reducing behaviors or meeting targets, it’s about helping someone feel more capable, confident, and understood.
Bridging the Gap: Practitioners and the Neurodivergent Community
One of the challenges in ABA today is that many providers are not neurodivergent themselves. While they may be highly trained and well-intentioned, this difference in perspective can sometimes create a trust gap between the therapist and the person receiving support. People may feel misunderstood or that their experiences are overlooked, which can make therapy feel less effective or even stressful.
Britney and Ashton point out that bridging this gap requires open dialogue and the active inclusion of neurodivergent perspectives. Therapy works best when it is a true partnership, where the voices of those receiving support are valued just as much as the professional knowledge of the therapist. This means listening closely, asking questions, and making space for neurodivergent people to share their experiences and preferences.
Clinics and families can take practical steps to create these partnerships. For example, therapists can hold regular check-ins not only with parents but also directly with the person receiving ABA to ask how things are going. Families can encourage their loved ones to speak up about what is and isn’t working for them. Together, this helps everyone feel included in goal-setting and decision-making.
It also helps to involve neurodivergent professionals in staff training or program development. Their insight can shape therapy approaches that are more ethical, effective, and compassionate. The result is a therapy environment built on mutual respect and understanding, rather than a one-sided process where the provider dictates everything.
By creating these bridges, ABA can evolve into a practice that genuinely supports the person’s needs and celebrates their individuality. When therapists and clients work together, guided by empathy and shared decision-making, trust grows, outcomes improve, and therapy becomes a truly empowering experience.
Want to hear how Britney and Ashton are building that bridge in real life? Listen to their full conversation here.
Practical Takeaways for Parents, Practitioners, and Neurodivergent Individuals
After listening to Britney and Ashton’s discussion in the podcast, it’s clear that ABA works best when everyone involved feels seen, respected, and included. Here are some practical takeaways for different groups to help make therapy more effective and empowering.
For Parents
Parents play a crucial role in supporting their child’s ABA journey. Instead of simply following a plan, you can be an active partner by asking the right questions and advocating for your child’s voice.
Ask how goals are chosen: Are they based on your child’s interests, needs, and comfort, or only on compliance?
Include your child’s perspective: Encourage your child to share their feelings about the therapy and what they want to work on.
Check in regularly: Ask for updates on progress and discuss whether the goals still feel relevant and meaningful.
Observe the environment: Notice if your child seems stressed, anxious, or genuinely enjoying sessions. Comfort matters as much as skill-building.
For Practitioners
ABA practitioners can make therapy more effective and ethical by staying flexible and including neurodivergent input.
Invite feedback: Ask clients and families how the therapy is working for them. Adjust plans based on their responses.
Focus on meaningful progress: Measure success by improvements in independence, confidence, and quality of life—not just task completion.
Avoid one-size-fits-all approaches: Tailor goals and interventions to each person’s needs, strengths, and preferences.
Continue learning: Stay informed about neurodiversity, ethical practices, and evolving strategies that respect autonomy and individuality.
For Neurodivergent Individuals
If you are receiving ABA therapy, it is your right to have a voice and participate in decisions about your care.
Speak up: Share your preferences, needs, and concerns with your therapist. Your input matters.
Choose providers carefully: Look for therapists who treat you as a partner and respect your individuality, rather than someone they are trying to change.
Know your goals: Make sure the therapy supports what you want to achieve in daily life, comfort, and self-expression.
Ask for clarity: Understand what each exercise or session is meant to accomplish and how it benefits you.
By following these practical steps, therapy can become more collaborative, respectful, and truly supportive of the person’s growth. ABA works best when it is a partnership built on communication, trust, and shared goals.
For more tips and insights directly from Britney and Ashton, listen to the full episode here.
Why This Conversation Matters
It is important to remember that ABA is not inherently bad. The therapy itself is a tool that can help people learn skills, communicate better, and live more independently. The problems arise when ABA is applied in ways that do not respect the person receiving it. That is why conversations like the one Britney and Ashton had in the podcast are so important. They help us understand how ABA can evolve to be more ethical, supportive, and person-centered.
This conversation also connects to a bigger movement: neurodiversity-affirming care. In simple terms, neurodiversity-affirming care means recognizing that differences in how people think, learn, and experience the world are not flaws to fix, but part of human diversity. Supporting someone in a way that respects who they are is not just about therapy—it is about social change. It challenges old ideas that people must conform to a standard and promotes acceptance, understanding, and inclusion.
Britney and Ashton make it clear that real progress happens when therapy supports individuality, autonomy, and respect. It is not just about reducing behaviors or meeting goals. It is about helping people grow in ways that matter to them, feel confident in their own skin, and develop skills that improve their daily lives. Therapy should empower the person, not control them.
By listening to their insights, parents, practitioners, and neurodivergent individuals can all learn how to make ABA better. It is about shifting the focus from control to collaboration, from compliance to respect, and from fitting in to thriving as oneself.
To hear more about why this conversation is so important and how ABA can change for the better, listen to the full episode here.
Conclusion: Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
ABA therapy has often been misunderstood. As Britney and Ashton explain in the podcast, it can be empowering when done ethically, collaboratively, and respectfully. When therapy focuses on supporting individuality, listening to the person receiving care, and creating meaningful goals, it becomes a tool for growth, confidence, and independence rather than control.
This conversation matters because it reminds us that change is possible. By including neurodivergent voices, practicing transparency, and focusing on quality of life rather than compliance, ABA can evolve into a practice that truly respects and supports the people it aims to help.
If you want to understand more about what ethical, person-centered ABA looks like, and hear real-life stories from neurodivergent professionals, the podcast is the perfect place to start.
Hear the full story and join the conversation on the podcast here.
