What Do Autistic People Struggle With?
Table of Contents
Intro
It's More Than Just Social Struggles
Misunderstood and Misread: The Hidden Struggles
Sensory Overload Is a Big Deal
What Triggers Autistic Adults?
Communication Isn't Always Verbal
Social Struggles Can Feel Like Walking on a Tightrope
Emotional Regulation Takes Practice and Space
Struggles Aren't Failures
Conclusion
What Do Autistic People Struggle With? A Guide for Better Understanding
If you've ever wondered what autistic people really go through on a daily basis, this post will help you understand their world better. Most people only see autism from the outside, noticing behaviors like avoiding eye contact or seeming withdrawn in social situations. But there's so much more happening beneath the surface that many people never get to see or understand.
Understanding these challenges isn't just about having more knowledge about autism. It's about developing genuine empathy and learning how to be more supportive friends, family members, coworkers, and community members.
In this guide, we'll explore the real challenges autistic people face, from sensory overload to social confusion to the exhaustion of constantly trying to fit in. We'll also hear from Sonia Krishna Chand, author of "Dropped in a Maze," whose honest account of living as an autistic person provides insights that can help anyone understand autism better.
It's More Than Just Social Struggles
When most people think about autism struggles, they usually think about social difficulties first. While social challenges are definitely real and significant for many autistic people, the full picture of autism struggles is much broader and more complex.
Autistic people navigate a world that wasn't designed for how their brains work. This means that everyday situations that feel routine and manageable for neurotypical people can be genuinely difficult, overwhelming, or exhausting for autistic individuals.
These struggles often go unnoticed because many autistic people, especially those diagnosed later in life, have learned to hide their difficulties. They might seem to be managing fine on the outside while experiencing significant stress, confusion, or overload on the inside.
Understanding these hidden struggles is crucial for building empathy and providing appropriate support. It's also important for recognizing autism in people who might not fit stereotypical presentations, especially girls, women, and adults who weren't diagnosed as children.
Misunderstood and Misread: The Hidden Struggles
One of the biggest challenges autistic people face is being constantly misunderstood. Their natural responses to situations are often interpreted negatively by people who don't understand autism.
The Pressure to Mask
Many autistic people learn to "mask" their natural behaviors to fit in with social expectations. Masking means hiding stimming behaviors, forcing eye contact, suppressing special interests, or copying other people's social behaviors even when they don't feel natural or comfortable.
While masking can help autistic people avoid negative reactions from others, it's incredibly exhausting. Imagine having to consciously control every facial expression, monitor your tone of voice, suppress your natural movements, and constantly analyze social situations to figure out the "right" way to respond. This is what many autistic people do every day.
The pressure to mask often starts in childhood when autistic kids learn that their natural behaviors lead to correction, teasing, or rejection. Over time, they develop elaborate strategies for appearing "normal," but the emotional and physical cost is enormous.
Sensory Overload That Others Don't Notice
Autistic people often experience sensory input very differently than neurotypical people. Sounds that others can easily ignore might feel overwhelming. Lights that seem normal to most people might be painfully bright. Clothing textures that don't bother anyone else might feel unbearable.
This sensory sensitivity is real and physical, not just preference or pickiness. When an autistic person says a noise is too loud or a light is too bright, they're describing a genuine physical experience that can be truly distressing.
Constant Self-Correction
Many autistic people spend enormous mental energy monitoring and correcting their natural responses. They might catch themselves stimming and force themselves to stop. They might realize they've been talking about their special interest too long and abruptly change the subject. They might notice they're not making enough eye contact and force themselves to look at someone's face even though it's uncomfortable.
This constant self-monitoring is exhausting and takes energy away from other activities like listening, learning, or enjoying social interactions.
Insights from "Dropped in a Maze"
In "Dropped in a Maze," Sonia Krishna Chand shares what it's like to move through life feeling constantly misread and misunderstood. Her words offer more than just information about autism. They help you feel what it's like to navigate a world where your natural responses are often seen as wrong or inappropriate.
Sonia describes the exhaustion of trying to decode social situations, the confusion of unwritten rules that everyone else seems to know instinctively, and the relief of finally understanding why certain situations felt so difficult. Her honest account helps readers understand that autism struggles are not character flaws or lack of effort, but real challenges that deserve understanding and accommodation.
Sensory Overload Is a Big Deal
One of the most significant but often invisible struggles for autistic people is sensory processing differences. While neurotypical people can usually filter out background stimuli and focus on what's important, many autistic people experience all sensory input with equal intensity.
Lights That Feel Too Bright
Fluorescent lights in offices, stores, and schools can be genuinely painful for some autistic people. The buzzing sound they make, the flickering that most people don't notice, and the harsh quality of the light can all contribute to sensory overload.
Natural sunlight might also be overwhelming, especially when it's bright or changing rapidly (like sunlight filtering through moving tree branches). This isn't about being dramatic or difficult. It's about genuine physical discomfort that can make it hard to focus or function normally.
Sounds That Others Tune Out
Background noises that neurotypical people easily ignore can be overwhelming for autistic people. The hum of air conditioning, conversations happening across the room, traffic outside, or even the sound of fluorescent lights can all compete for attention and make it difficult to focus on what's important.
Sudden loud noises can be especially distressing, not just because they're loud but because they're unexpected. Fire alarms, construction noise, or even someone dropping a book can trigger genuine distress.
Clothing That Feels Unbearable
Certain fabrics, seams, tags, or fits can feel genuinely uncomfortable or even painful for autistic people. This isn't about being picky or difficult. It's about genuine sensory sensitivity that can make it hard to focus on anything else when wearing uncomfortable clothing.
Tight clothing might feel restrictive and anxiety-provoking. Loose clothing might feel overwhelming. Certain textures might feel scratchy or irritating even when they seem soft to others.
Environmental Factors Add Up
Individual sensory experiences can add up throughout the day. A person might be able to handle bright lights OR loud noises OR scratchy clothing, but experiencing all three at once can lead to overload.
This is why autistic people might seem fine in the morning but become increasingly agitated or withdrawn as the day goes on. They're not being moody or difficult. They're experiencing cumulative sensory stress that builds up over time.
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" on Amazon today.
Tips for Caregivers and Supporters
If you notice someone seeming agitated, withdrawn, or distressed, consider the sensory environment:
Are there loud or unexpected noises?
Is the lighting harsh or flickering?
Are there strong smells like perfume, cleaning products, or food?
Is the space crowded or visually overwhelming?
Has the person been dealing with sensory challenges all day?
Small accommodations like dimming lights, reducing background noise, or allowing someone to take a break in a quieter space can make a huge difference.
What Triggers Autistic Adults?
Understanding what typically triggers stress or overwhelm for autistic people can help you be more supportive and create more comfortable environments. These triggers are often things that neurotypical people don't think about or notice, but they can significantly impact an autistic person's ability to function comfortably.
Unexpected Changes
Many autistic people feel more comfortable and function better with predictable routines and advance notice of changes. This isn't about being inflexible or controlling. It's about how their brains process information and manage stress.
When plans change suddenly, it can be genuinely distressing. The mental energy required to adjust to new information, figure out new logistics, and manage the anxiety of unexpected changes can be overwhelming.
Examples of unexpected changes that might be triggering:
Plans being canceled or modified at the last minute
Substitute teachers or covering coworkers showing up unexpectedly
Changes in meeting times, locations, or agendas
Surprise visitors or unplanned social events
Construction, rearranged furniture, or other environmental changes
Social Pressure to Act "Normal"
Constant pressure to make eye contact, engage in small talk, or respond to social cues in expected ways can be exhausting and stressful. When people push autistic individuals to "just try harder" or "just be normal," it can actually make social situations more difficult.
This pressure often comes from well-meaning people who don't understand that what seems like simple social behaviors can actually be physically uncomfortable or mentally exhausting for autistic people.
Multiple Sensory Triggers at Once
As mentioned earlier, individual sensory challenges can add up throughout the day. Environments with multiple sensory triggers (like busy restaurants with loud music, bright lights, strong smells, and crowded seating) can quickly become overwhelming.
Masking Fatigue
The exhaustion that comes from constantly monitoring and controlling natural behaviors builds up over time. An autistic person might seem fine for hours or days while masking, but eventually they need time and space to be authentic without performance pressure.
This fatigue can show up as:
Increased irritability or emotional sensitivity
Difficulty with tasks that are usually manageable
Need for alone time or reduced social interaction
Physical exhaustion despite not doing physically demanding activities
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" on Amazon today.
Communication Isn't Always Verbal
One of the most misunderstood aspects of autism is communication differences. Many autistic people communicate very effectively, but they might do so in ways that don't match neurotypical expectations or patterns.
Different Communication Styles Are Valid
Autistic people might prefer written communication over verbal conversation, especially for complex or emotional topics. They might need extra time to process questions before responding. They might avoid eye contact while listening because it helps them focus better on what's being said.
These communication differences don't indicate lack of intelligence, interest, or respect. They're simply different ways of processing and sharing information.
Examples of Communication Differences
Avoiding eye contact: For many autistic people, eye contact is physically uncomfortable and can actually interfere with their ability to listen and process what someone is saying. They might look away, look down, or focus on something else while listening intently.
Preferring written communication: Some autistic people express themselves more clearly and comfortably in writing than in verbal conversation. They might prefer texting, emailing, or writing notes rather than phone calls or face-to-face discussions.
Taking time to respond: Autistic people might need extra time to process questions and formulate responses. This doesn't mean they don't understand or aren't interested. It means they're thinking carefully about their response.
Direct communication style: Many autistic people communicate very directly and honestly, without the social cushioning that neurotypical people often use. This can seem blunt or rude, but it's usually just a more straightforward communication style.
Encouraging Patience and Open-Mindedness
The most important thing supporters can do is remain patient and open to different communication styles. Instead of pushing someone to "talk normally," try to understand what works best for them.
Ask questions like:
"Would you prefer to write down your thoughts?"
"Do you need more time to think about this?"
"What's the best way for us to communicate about this?"
"How can I make this conversation more comfortable for you?"
Don't Push "Normal" Communication
Forcing autistic people to communicate in neurotypical ways often makes communication harder, not easier. When someone is spending all their energy trying to maintain eye contact or come up with responses quickly, they have less energy available for actually processing and responding to the conversation content.
Instead of focusing on how someone communicates, focus on whether the communication is effective and whether both people feel heard and understood.
Social Struggles Can Feel Like Walking on a Tightrope
Social situations are often the most visible area of challenge for autistic people, but the full extent of social struggles is often misunderstood. It's not just about being shy or antisocial. It's about navigating complex, unwritten social rules without a clear guidebook.
Understanding Hidden Social Rules
Neurotypical people learn social rules intuitively through observation and experience. They often don't even realize these rules exist because they feel so natural. But for many autistic people, these unwritten rules are confusing and unclear.
Examples of hidden social rules include:
How long to maintain eye contact (enough to seem interested, not so much that it's staring)
When it's appropriate to change conversation topics
How to tell if someone wants to end a conversation
What topics are appropriate for different relationships and settings
How to interpret sarcasm, jokes, or indirect communication
The Challenge of Reading Body Language
Much neurotypical communication happens through body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice rather than actual words. For many autistic people, reading these nonverbal cues is genuinely difficult.
Someone might say "that's fine" in a tone that clearly indicates they're upset, but an autistic person might take the words at face value and miss the emotional subtext. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings on both sides.
The Fear of Being "Too Much"
Many autistic people have learned through experience that their natural enthusiasm, interests, or communication style can be overwhelming for others. This leads to constant self-monitoring and fear of being "too much."
They might:
Cut themselves off when talking about their interests
Suppress their natural excitement or enthusiasm
Avoid sharing their thoughts or opinions
Withdraw from social situations rather than risk saying the wrong thing
Repeated Rejection Creates Social Anxiety
When autistic people repeatedly experience social rejection, misunderstanding, or negative reactions to their natural behavior, it often creates significant social anxiety. They might become hypervigilant about social mistakes or avoid social situations altogether.
This anxiety can make social interactions even more difficult, creating a cycle where fear of social problems actually creates more social challenges.
Insights from "Dropped in a Maze"
In "Dropped in a Maze," Sonia shares how being "too much" in some rooms and "not enough" in others shaped her identity and self-perception. Her honesty about social struggles and the impact they had on her sense of self will move readers and help them understand the real emotional cost of constant social confusion.
Sonia describes the exhaustion of trying to read social situations, the pain of repeated misunderstandings, and the relief of finally finding people who understood and accepted her communication style. Her story helps readers understand that social struggles are not personal failings but real challenges that deserve compassion and accommodation.
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" on Amazon today.
Emotional Regulation Takes Practice and Space
Emotional regulation can be particularly challenging for autistic people, not because they don't feel emotions or don't care about others, but because their emotional experiences might be more intense and their regulation strategies might be different.
Emotions Might Feel Bigger
Many autistic people experience emotions very intensely. Joy might feel overwhelming, sadness might feel crushing, and frustration might feel explosive. This intensity isn't a character flaw or lack of maturity. It's a neurological difference that affects how emotions are processed and experienced.
Harder to Express and Identify Emotions
Some autistic people have difficulty identifying what they're feeling (alexithymia) or finding words to express their emotions. They might know something feels wrong but not be able to pinpoint whether they're sad, angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
This can make it difficult to ask for help or explain what they need when they're struggling emotionally.
Meltdowns Are Not Tantrums
When autistic people become overwhelmed, they might experience meltdowns, which are often mistaken for tantrums or dramatic behavior. But meltdowns are actually involuntary responses to overwhelming stress, sensory input, or emotional overload.
During a meltdown, an autistic person has temporarily lost the ability to cope with their current situation. They're not choosing to act out or trying to manipulate anyone. They're experiencing genuine distress and overwhelm.
The Result of Built-Up Stress
Meltdowns often happen when stress has been building up over time. An autistic person might seem fine all day while managing sensory overload, social demands, and other challenges, but eventually their coping mechanisms become exhausted.
The final trigger for a meltdown might seem minor (like being asked to do one more task), but it's actually the last straw after hours or days of managing cumulative stress.
Don't Punish or Shame
When someone is having a meltdown, punishment and shame only make things worse. The person is already overwhelmed and distressed. Adding more negative consequences increases their stress and can prolong the meltdown.
Instead, focus on:
Providing a calm, safe environment
Reducing sensory input if possible
Giving the person space and time to recover
Addressing underlying stressors once the person has regulated
Tools That Help
Emotional regulation strategies that often help autistic people include:
Quiet time: Regular breaks from stimulation and social demands can prevent overload from building up.
Visual schedules: Knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety and help with emotional preparation.
Fidget tools: Physical movement or sensory input can help with self-regulation.
Clear communication: Straightforward, honest communication reduces the stress of trying to interpret hidden meanings.
Predictable routines: Consistent patterns help reduce daily stress and save emotional energy for unexpected challenges.
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" on Amazon today.
Struggles Aren't Failures
It's important to understand that the challenges autistic people face are not personal failures or signs of weakness. They're natural consequences of living in a world designed primarily for neurotypical brains.
Reframe Struggle as Part of the Journey
Instead of viewing autism struggles as problems to eliminate, try to see them as information about what support and accommodations might be helpful. When an autistic person struggles with something, it often means they need a different approach, not that they need to try harder.
For example, if someone has trouble with verbal instructions, they might benefit from written instructions instead. If someone struggles in noisy environments, they might need access to quieter spaces. If someone finds social situations exhausting, they might need more downtime between social activities.
Support Instead of Fix
The most helpful approach is to listen, learn, and support rather than trying to "fix" autism traits. Autistic people don't need to be fixed because they're not broken. They need understanding, accommodation, and acceptance of their differences.
This might mean:
Adjusting environments to be more sensory-friendly
Providing information in formats that work better for different people
Allowing different communication styles and preferences
Respecting the need for routine and predictability
Understanding that some behaviors that seem unusual are actually helpful coping strategies
Building Understanding Through Authentic Voices
One of the best ways to develop genuine understanding and empathy is to listen to autistic people themselves. Reading books, following blogs, listening to podcasts, and engaging with content created by autistic people provides insights that no outside observer can offer.
"Dropped in a Maze" is an excellent starting point because Sonia writes with both personal experience and professional insight. Her book isn't just for autistic readers. It's for anyone who wants to understand autism better and build more supportive relationships with autistic people in their lives.
Sonia's honest account of living with undiagnosed autism, the challenges she faced, and the journey toward understanding herself can help readers develop deeper empathy and more effective support strategies.
Conclusion
Understanding what autistic people struggle with is the first step toward creating more inclusive, supportive environments. When we recognize that certain challenges are real and significant, we can work together to develop accommodations and support systems that help everyone thrive.
This understanding benefits everyone, not just autistic people. Many accommodations that help autistic individuals (like clear communication, predictable schedules, and sensory-friendly environments) also benefit neurotypical people and create more comfortable, productive spaces for everyone.
Read "Dropped in a Maze" to hear directly from someone who's lived these experiences. It's not just for autistic readers. It's for anyone who wants to understand better and build a more inclusive world.
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" on Amazon today.
