What Autism Really Means
Table of Contents
Intro
What Autism Really Means
Debunking Common Myths
Understanding Your Child's Needs
The Power of Perspective: Learn From Lived Experience
What to Do Right Now (Without Getting Overwhelmed)
Finding the Right Resources
Conclusion
Learning About Autism: A Simple Guide for Parents New to Diagnosis
Getting an autism diagnosis for your child can feel like everything has changed overnight. One day you were worried about certain behaviors or delays, and now you have a label that brings both answers and new questions. If you're reading this, you're probably feeling a mix of emotions right now, and that's completely normal.
In this guide, we'll walk through what autism really means, how to understand your child's specific needs, and where to start building the support your family needs. We'll also talk about why reading books by autistic people, like "Dropped in a Maze" by Sonia Krishna Chand, can give you insights that no medical textbook ever could.
What Autism Really Means
Let's start with the basics. Autism is a neurological difference that affects how a person communicates, interacts socially, processes sensory information, and experiences the world around them. It's not a disease, disorder, or something that needs to be cured. It's simply a different way of being human.
It's Not a Problem to Fix
One of the most important things to understand is that autism isn't something wrong with your child that needs to be fixed. Your child's brain is wired differently, which means they might process information, communicate, and interact with the world in ways that are different from neurotypical people.
This difference can create challenges in a world designed primarily for neurotypical people, but it also comes with unique strengths and perspectives. Many autistic people have exceptional attention to detail, deep expertise in their areas of interest, creative problem-solving abilities, and honest, direct communication styles.
Understanding the Spectrum
You've probably heard the phrase "autism spectrum," but what does that actually mean? The spectrum doesn't refer to severity levels from "less autistic" to "more autistic." Instead, it recognizes that autism affects different people in different ways.
Some autistic people might have challenges with spoken language but be excellent at written communication. Others might be very verbal but struggle with social situations. Some might be highly sensitive to sounds and lights, while others seek out intense sensory experiences. Some might need significant daily support, while others live independently and have careers and families.
The spectrum also recognizes that the same person might have different needs at different times. An autistic child might seem to cope well at school but have meltdowns at home because they've been holding in their stress all day. They might be articulate about their favorite topics but struggle to express their emotions or needs.
Debunking Common Myths
Unfortunately, there are still many misconceptions about autism that can create unnecessary fear or misunderstanding. Here are some important facts:
Autistic children DO feel emotions. They might express emotions differently or have trouble identifying and communicating their feelings, but they experience the full range of human emotions including love, joy, frustration, and empathy.
Autism affects people of all backgrounds. While autism was historically diagnosed more often in white boys, we now know it occurs across all racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups. Girls and people of color are often underdiagnosed or diagnosed later because early research didn't include their experiences.
Autism is lifelong, but that's not a bad thing. Autistic children grow up to be autistic adults. While they can learn new skills and strategies, autism isn't something they outgrow, and that's okay. Many autistic adults live fulfilling, independent lives.
There's no single cause of autism. Research suggests autism has genetic and environmental factors, but there's no one cause. It's definitely not caused by vaccines, parenting styles, or anything parents did or didn't do.
Understanding Your Child's Needs
Now that you have a diagnosis, you're probably wondering what this means for your specific child. Every autistic person is different, so understanding your child's individual needs, challenges, and strengths is crucial.
Common Areas of Difference
While every autistic person is unique, autism often affects certain areas of development and daily life:
Communication: This might include challenges with spoken language, understanding nonverbal communication like facial expressions or tone of voice, or using communication in social ways. Some autistic people are highly verbal but struggle with back-and-forth conversation. Others might prefer written communication or use alternative communication methods.
Social interaction: Autistic people might find social situations confusing, overwhelming, or exhausting. They might struggle to understand unwritten social rules, prefer one-on-one interactions over groups, or show interest in others in ways that seem different from typical social behavior.
Sensory processing: Many autistic people are very sensitive to sounds, lights, textures, or other sensory input. Others might seek out intense sensory experiences. These differences can significantly affect comfort and behavior in different environments.
Routine and predictability: Many autistic people feel more comfortable and function better with predictable routines and clear expectations. Changes in routine or unexpected events can be stressful or overwhelming.
Intense interests: Many autistic people develop deep, passionate interests in specific topics. These interests can be sources of joy, expertise, and connection with others who share similar passions.
Observe Rather Than Rush to Fix
One of the most valuable things you can do right now is simply observe your child. Notice what seems to make them comfortable or uncomfortable. Pay attention to what they enjoy and what they find challenging. Look for patterns in their behavior, mood, and energy levels.
This observation will help you understand your child's specific needs and preferences. It will also help you communicate more effectively with teachers, therapists, and other professionals who work with your child.
Remember, not every autistic behavior needs to be changed. Some behaviors that seem unusual might actually be helpful for your child. For example, stimming (repetitive movements like hand-flapping or rocking) often helps autistic people regulate their emotions and sensory input.
Co-Occurring Conditions
Many autistic people also have other conditions that can affect their daily life and development. These might include anxiety, ADHD, depression, sleep disorders, or gastrointestinal issues. Understanding and addressing these conditions can significantly improve quality of life and functioning.
If you notice signs of other challenges beyond autism, don't hesitate to discuss them with your child's healthcare providers. Treating co-occurring conditions can make a big difference in your child's overall wellbeing.
The Power of Perspective: Learn From Lived Experience
One of the most valuable things you can do as a parent is to learn about autism from autistic people themselves. Medical and educational resources can tell you about autism from the outside, but only autistic people can tell you what it feels like from the inside.
Why "Dropped in a Maze" Matters for Parents
"Dropped in a Maze: My Life on the Spectrum" by Sonia Krishna Chand offers something most parenting resources can't: a first-person account of what it's actually like to be autistic. Sonia was diagnosed with autism as an adult after years of feeling different but not understanding why.
As both an autistic person and a licensed therapist, Sonia can articulate experiences that many autistic children feel but can't yet express. Reading her story can help you understand what might be happening in your child's inner world, especially during difficult moments.
Understanding How Autism Feels From the Inside
Sonia writes about experiences that many autistic people share but rarely discuss openly:
The exhaustion of trying to fit in social situations that don't make sense
The overwhelm of sensory input that others barely notice
The relief of finally understanding why certain things feel so difficult
The confusion of unwritten social rules that everyone else seems to know instinctively
The joy and comfort found in special interests and routines
These insights can help you respond to your child with more understanding and empathy. When your child has a meltdown after school, Sonia's descriptions of sensory overwhelm might help you realize they're not being difficult but rather struggling with genuine distress.
Insights That Help Parents Relate
Sonia's late diagnosis means she can reflect on childhood experiences with adult understanding. She describes what it felt like to be overwhelmed in school, to struggle with friendships, and to feel different without knowing why.
For parents, these insights can be incredibly valuable. They help you understand that challenging behaviors often come from real distress, not defiance. They show you that your child's differences aren't character flaws but neurological realities that deserve understanding and accommodation.
Her book also explores the intersection of autism with culture, family expectations, and identity, which can be especially helpful for parents from diverse backgrounds who might not see their experiences reflected in typical autism resources.
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" today.
What to Do Right Now (Without Getting Overwhelmed)
Getting an autism diagnosis can make you feel like you need to do everything at once: research therapies, change your child's diet, find specialists, advocate at school, and become an autism expert overnight. Take a deep breath. You don't have to do everything immediately.
Start Small: Listen, Observe, Document
The most important thing you can do right now is pay attention to your child. Listen to what they tell you, both with words and with behavior. Notice what makes them happy, what stresses them out, and what helps them feel calm and regulated.
Start keeping simple notes about patterns you observe:
What triggers difficult moments?
What activities or environments does your child enjoy most?
When do they seem most comfortable and engaged?
What sensory experiences do they seek out or avoid?
This information will be invaluable when working with professionals and making decisions about support and accommodations.
Connect With Professionals When You're Ready
You don't need to line up a team of specialists immediately, but when you're ready, consider connecting with:
A developmental pediatrician who can help you understand your child's specific needs and monitor their development over time.
An occupational therapist who can help with sensory issues, daily living skills, and motor development.
A speech-language pathologist if your child has communication challenges or differences.
A mental health professional who understands autism if your child is dealing with anxiety, depression, or other emotional challenges.
Remember, you're building a team to support your child, not fix them. Look for professionals who view autism as a difference rather than a disorder and who include autistic people's perspectives in their practice.
Consider School Accommodations
If your child is school-aged, you may want to explore whether they would benefit from an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 plan. These legal documents ensure your child receives appropriate accommodations and support at school.
Common accommodations might include:
Sensory breaks or access to a quiet space
Modified assignments or test-taking conditions
Support with social skills and peer interactions
Clear schedules and advance notice of changes
Alternative communication methods if needed
Take It One Step at a Time
Remember, you don't have to figure everything out immediately. Your child has been autistic their whole life, and getting a diagnosis doesn't mean everything has to change overnight. Focus on understanding your child better and making small adjustments that improve their comfort and success.
You'll learn as you go, and that's perfectly normal. Every family's autism journey is different, and there's no single right way to support an autistic child.
Finding the Right Resources
With so much information available about autism, it can be hard to know where to start or which sources to trust. Here are some guidelines for finding helpful, accurate resources:
Books by Autistic Authors
Start with books written by autistic people themselves. These provide insights that no outside observer can offer. "Dropped in a Maze" is an excellent starting point because Sonia writes for both autistic readers and their families.
Other valuable books by autistic authors include memoirs, self-advocacy resources, and practical guides written from lived experience. These books often feel more authentic and understanding than clinical resources.
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" today.
Local Support Groups and Online Communities
Look for parent support groups in your area, especially those that include autistic adults as resources and advisors. Online communities can also provide support and practical advice from other families.
Be cautious of groups that focus primarily on "curing" autism or that don't include autistic voices. The most helpful communities are those that celebrate autism as a difference while providing practical support for challenges.
Podcasts and Online Content
Sonia has a podcast that can provide ongoing insights and support. Look for other podcasts, YouTube channels, and blogs by autistic creators who share their experiences and perspectives.
These resources can help you understand autism from multiple viewpoints and stay connected to the autistic community as your child grows.
Be Mindful of Harmful Content
Unfortunately, not all autism resources are helpful or accurate. Be cautious of sources that:
Present autism as a tragedy or devastating diagnosis
Promise to cure autism or make your child "normal"
Don't include autistic people's voices and perspectives
Focus solely on behavior modification without considering the child's experience
Use outdated or offensive language about autism
Trust your instincts. If a resource makes you feel hopeless about your child's future or suggests that autism is inherently bad, look for different sources that view autism more positively and realistically.
Be Kind to Yourself Too
Supporting an autistic child can be rewarding, challenging, and everything in between. While you're learning to understand and support your child, don't forget to take care of yourself too.
Nobody expects you to become an autism expert overnight. You're going to make mistakes, try things that don't work, and gradually figure out what's best for your child and family. This learning process is normal and healthy.
Give yourself permission to not know everything right away. Every parent of an autistic child has felt overwhelmed and uncertain at times. You're not alone in this feeling.
Conclusion
By seeking out information and resources, you've already taken a powerful first step in supporting your child. Your willingness to learn and understand shows that your child has an advocate who cares about their wellbeing and success.
The most important things you can do for your autistic child are the same things that matter for any child: love them unconditionally, listen to their needs, advocate for their wellbeing, and help them develop their strengths and interests. The autism diagnosis doesn't change who your child is. It just gives you tools to understand and support them better.
Get a copy of "Dropped in a Maze" today.
