Autism from a Sibling Perspective
Table of Contents
Intro
Childhood Reflections: Learning to See the World Differently
Childhood Reflections
The Pressure of Being the “Other” Sibling
Misunderstandings and Growing Together
From Protection to Empowerment
The Overlooked Sibling
Encouragement for Families
Conclusion
Autism from a Sibling Perspective
When most people talk about autism, the conversation usually centers around the person on the spectrum or their parents. But there’s another side of the story that often goes unnoticed — the experience of siblings. Their journey is filled with love, patience, and moments of quiet understanding, but it can also come with confusion, frustration, and a longing to be seen.
Growing up with a sibling who has autism teaches lessons that go far beyond what you’ll ever find in a book. It shapes how you see the world, how you love, and how you understand differences. For many siblings, it’s a mix of joy and challenge — learning how to communicate in new ways, celebrating every small victory, and finding strength in unexpected places.
On the Spectrum Empowerment Stories podcast, Lauren Erickson opens up about her life as the sister of someone with autism. She shares what it was like to grow up learning, adapting, and finding her place in a family where love took many forms. Her story is honest, heartfelt, and deeply relatable for anyone who’s ever walked beside a loved one with special needs.
Childhood Reflections: Learning to See the World Differently
Lauren’s childhood didn’t look like most of her friends’. While other kids might have had easy-going mornings or typical family outings, hers often required more planning, patience, and understanding. Her sibling’s autism shaped the rhythm of their home — from the sounds and routines to the way love was expressed.
As a young girl, Lauren didn’t fully understand what autism meant. She only knew that her brother or sister saw the world in a different way. At first, there was confusion. She noticed that her sibling didn’t always respond the way she expected, avoided eye contact, or got upset over things that seemed small to her. But instead of frustration turning into resentment, curiosity began to take over. She started asking questions, watching closely, and slowly learning what brought her sibling comfort or joy.
Daily life for Lauren’s family was filled with unique routines. Simple things like going to the store, eating at a restaurant, or attending a birthday party could be unpredictable. There were days when plans had to change suddenly or when public outings ended early. But over time, Lauren began to see that those adjustments weren’t inconveniences — they were acts of love. They were the family’s way of supporting her sibling’s needs and ensuring everyone felt safe and included.
Through these experiences, Lauren discovered a deeper meaning of love. It wasn’t about perfection or having picture-perfect family moments. It was about showing up, staying patient, and finding joy in the little things. Whether it was celebrating her sibling saying a new word, making it through a day without a meltdown, or simply sharing a quiet moment together, Lauren learned that success could look different — and that was okay.
One of the most beautiful lessons from her childhood was realizing that love doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s version of it. True love, she discovered, grows through patience, presence, and understanding.
In the On the Spectrum Empowerment Stories podcast, Lauren shares touching memories of those early years — how she learned to celebrate every small victory and how her sibling’s unique way of seeing the world helped her grow into a more compassionate, open-hearted person. Through her eyes, we’re reminded that difference is not a barrier to love, but a bridge that deepens it.
Childhood Reflections
Lauren’s childhood didn’t look like most of her friends’. While other kids might have had easy-going mornings or typical family outings, hers often required more planning, patience, and understanding. Her sibling’s autism shaped the rhythm of their home — from the sounds and routines to the way love was expressed.
As a young girl, Lauren didn’t fully understand what autism meant. She only knew that her brother or sister saw the world in a different way. At first, there was confusion. She noticed that her sibling didn’t always respond the way she expected, avoided eye contact, or got upset over things that seemed small to her. But instead of frustration turning into resentment, curiosity began to take over. She started asking questions, watching closely, and slowly learning what brought her sibling comfort or joy.
Daily life for Lauren’s family was filled with unique routines. Simple things like going to the store, eating at a restaurant, or attending a birthday party could be unpredictable. There were days when plans had to change suddenly or when public outings ended early. But over time, Lauren began to see that those adjustments weren’t inconveniences — they were acts of love. They were the family’s way of supporting her sibling’s needs and ensuring everyone felt safe and included.
Through these experiences, Lauren discovered a deeper meaning of love. It wasn’t about perfection or having picture-perfect family moments. It was about showing up, staying patient, and finding joy in the little things. Whether it was celebrating her sibling saying a new word, making it through a day without a meltdown, or simply sharing a quiet moment together, Lauren learned that success could look different — and that was okay.
One of the most beautiful lessons from her childhood was realizing that love doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s version of it. True love, she discovered, grows through patience, presence, and understanding.
On the Spectrum Empowerment Stories podcast, Lauren shares touching memories of those early years — how she learned to celebrate every small victory and how her sibling’s unique way of seeing the world helped her grow into a more compassionate, open-hearted person. Through her eyes, we’re reminded that difference is not a barrier to love, but a bridge that deepens it.
The Pressure of Being the “Other” Sibling
One of the most honest parts of Lauren’s story is when she talks about what it’s like to be the “other” sibling — the one who doesn’t have autism. It’s something that’s rarely discussed, but it’s very real. Many siblings in her position quietly take on an invisible kind of pressure. They feel they have to be the strong one, the easy one, or even the “perfect” one, because their parents already have so much to manage.
Lauren admits she often tried to stay out of the way. She didn’t want to cause extra stress at home, so she learned to keep her feelings to herself. If she was sad or upset, she’d tell herself it wasn’t as important as what her sibling might be going through. Over time, that became a habit — smiling when she didn’t feel okay, holding things in, and trying to be the one who always had it together.
She also felt a quiet pressure to succeed. Somewhere deep down, she believed that if she did well in school, behaved perfectly, or made her parents proud, it would somehow balance things out. It wasn’t something anyone told her directly, it was just something she absorbed over time. Many siblings of children with disabilities feel that same unspoken weight, trying to make up for the challenges their brother or sister faces.
Another layer of pressure came from the need to be strong. Lauren thought she had to be the steady one, the helper, the one who didn’t complain. But inside, she sometimes wished someone would notice her struggles too.
Misunderstandings and Growing Together
Lauren shares that one of the biggest lessons she learned growing up with her sibling on the autism spectrum was how important — and sometimes tricky — communication can be. What seemed simple for most families, like asking how someone’s day went or sharing a joke, could sometimes turn into confusion or frustration at home. Her sibling processed the world differently, and that meant emotions and reactions didn’t always match what she expected.
There were moments when Lauren would say something with kindness, but her sibling might take it the wrong way. Or times when her sibling would shut down completely, and she couldn’t understand why. At first, it was confusing and sometimes even hurtful. She wanted to connect but didn’t always know how. Over time, she realized that her sibling wasn’t being distant — they were simply communicating in their own way.
Lauren started to slow down. Instead of assuming, she began to observe — the tone, the body language, the little signs that showed what her sibling was really feeling. She learned to pause before reacting, to listen more than she spoke, and to meet her sibling where they were, not where she expected them to be.
This shift changed everything. Once she stopped trying to “fix” communication and started learning how her sibling expressed emotions, their bond deepened. Simple things — like sitting quietly together, using humor that worked for both of them, or celebrating small breakthroughs — began to mean so much more.
Lauren says each misunderstanding became an opportunity to grow closer. The more she practiced patience, the more she understood that connection isn’t about perfect words — it’s about genuine effort and love.
The biggest lesson she learned? Understanding someone on the spectrum isn’t about changing them to fit your world. It’s about learning to see through their eyes, speak their language, and appreciate the beauty of connection that doesn’t need to look like everyone else’s.
It’s not always easy, but for Lauren, every challenge brought her closer to her sibling — and helped her see that love really can speak in more ways than one.
From Protection to Empowerment
As Lauren grew older, her role as a sister began to shift in unexpected ways. When she was younger, she often felt protective — always watching out for her sibling, stepping in to prevent misunderstandings, and making sure others treated them kindly. It came from a place of love and care, but over time, she realized that constant protection could also hold her sibling back from discovering their own strength.
Lauren admits that it wasn’t easy to find the balance. She wanted to make life easier for her sibling, especially when people didn’t understand autism or when situations felt overwhelming. But as the years went by, she began to see that protecting too much could send an unintended message — that her sibling needed to be sheltered rather than supported.
In the podcast, Lauren shares that true inclusion means something deeper than just keeping someone safe. It’s about believing in their potential, trusting them to make choices, and letting them experience the world — even if it includes mistakes or challenges. That realization changed how she approached their relationship.
She started focusing less on “helping” and more on “empowering.” Instead of stepping in right away, she’d ask, “Do you want me to help, or do you want to try first?” This small shift gave her sibling space to take ownership of their actions and build confidence. It also taught Lauren to let go of her own need to control every situation.
It wasn’t always smooth. There were moments when stepping back felt uncomfortable, times when she wanted to intervene but chose to wait. But she noticed something beautiful: her sibling began to thrive. They took on new challenges, communicated more clearly, and developed a stronger sense of independence.
Lauren realized that empowerment goes both ways. As her sibling grew in confidence, she did too. She learned that love doesn’t mean doing everything for someone, it means believing they are capable and cheering them on as they grow.
Her biggest takeaway? Sometimes the best way to protect someone is to believe in their strength, even when it’s hard to step back. That’s where true growth — for both siblings — really begins.
The Overlooked Sibling
One of the most powerful parts of Lauren’s story is her honesty about feeling invisible at times. Growing up with a sibling on the autism spectrum often meant that most of the family’s focus naturally went toward meeting that sibling’s needs. Therapies, appointments, and daily routines revolved around making sure her brother or sister was supported — and while Lauren understood why, it sometimes left her quietly wondering, “Do I matter as much?”
She shares that this isn’t about jealousy or resentment. It’s about wanting to be noticed too. Many siblings of children with autism love their brother or sister deeply, but they also experience moments when they feel overlooked. Parents are often stretched thin, trying to balance everything, and siblings like Lauren may choose to stay quiet to avoid adding to the stress.
Lauren remembers bottling up her own emotions — hiding when she felt sad, confused, or even proud — because she didn’t want to “be a problem.” Over time, though, she realized that silence doesn’t make things easier. It only creates distance. What she really needed was reassurance that her feelings mattered too.
This part of her story reminds families of something important: every child in the household deserves to feel seen and valued. When one child’s needs are more visible, it’s easy to unintentionally overlook the quiet strength of the other.
Encouragement for Families
Lauren’s story isn’t just a reflection of her own experience, it’s a gentle reminder for every family walking a similar path. Supporting a child on the autism spectrum takes patience, time, and energy, but it’s just as important to nurture the emotional world of their siblings.
For parents, Lauren’s advice is simple and heartfelt:
Listen without judgment: Sometimes siblings just need to talk — not for you to fix things, but simply to be heard. Acknowledging their emotions, whether it’s frustration, pride, or confusion, helps them feel validated.
Give siblings emotional space: Every child needs a little room to process life in their own way. Encourage activities, friendships, or hobbies that belong just to them.
Encourage open conversations about differences: When families talk openly about autism, it removes confusion and replaces it with understanding. It also helps siblings learn empathy and acceptance naturally.
And for siblings who might be reading this:
Your feelings matter: It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions — love, frustration, pride, and even sadness. You’re human, and that’s part of growing.
It’s okay to ask for help: Talking to someone — a parent, teacher, or counselor — doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you care enough to take care of yourself too.
You are part of the story too: Your role in your sibling’s journey is important, but so is your own journey. You have your own dreams, strengths, and purpose that deserve attention and celebration.
Conclusion
Lauren’s journey reminds us that growing up alongside a sibling with autism is a story of transformation. It’s not always easy, and it’s rarely picture-perfect, but it’s filled with moments that teach patience, empathy, and unconditional love. Through her experiences, Lauren learned that love doesn’t have to look the same for everyone — it grows stronger when we learn to understand and appreciate differences.
Her story also highlights something many families can relate to: the importance of communication and grace. There will be days filled with joy and laughter, and there will be others marked by confusion or exhaustion. But even when things feel hard, love continues to grow when families choose to stay connected, listen deeply, and celebrate each other’s progress, no matter how small.
For anyone walking a similar path, remember — it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters most is showing up with an open heart and a willingness to learn together. Autism doesn’t just shape one person’s life; it shapes the whole family in beautiful, unexpected ways.
