Emotion Coaching or Traditional Parenting? What Works Best
Table of Content: Emotion Coaching vs. Traditional Parenting: Which Approach Works Better? (Backed by Science)
Intro
What is Traditional Parenting
What is Emotion Coaching
Key Differences Between the Two Approaches
What the Research Says
How to Start Using Emotion Coaching at Home
So… Which One Works Better?
Conclusion: Parenting with Heart, Not Just Rules
Emotion Coaching or Traditional Parenting? What Works Best
Parenting is is tough.
Most of us are just trying to do better than what we had growing up. But sometimes, we find ourselves sounding like our parents, saying things like “Because I said so!” or “Stop crying!” More and more parents today are asking a different question. Is there a better way to handle emotions and tough moments with kids?
That’s where emotional coaching comes in. It’s a method backed by science that helps you connect with your child instead of just correcting their behavior. It doesn’t mean letting your child do whatever they want. It means helping them understand what they’re feeling so they can grow up emotionally strong.
In this blogpost, we’ll compare traditional parenting with emotion coaching, look at the science behind it, and share simple ways to try it at home.
What is Traditional Parenting
Traditional parenting is how many of us were raised. It’s the way where adults expect children to listen, obey, and stay in line.
In this style, the main focus is on discipline and control. If a child misbehaves or shows big emotions like anger or sadness, the response is often to stop it quickly.
For example, “Go to your room.”
Or “You’re being dramatic.”
Or “I don’t want to hear it.”
The problem with this is that it teaches kids to hide their emotions instead of understanding them. They might follow the rules, but they don’t always feel safe or supported.
Traditional parenting isn’t all bad. But it can leave children feeling alone when they need help the most.
What is Emotion Coaching
Emotion coaching is a way of parenting that helps children understand and manage their feelings. Instead of reacting with punishment or ignoring how a child feels, parents take time to connect. It’s not about letting children do whatever they want. It’s about teaching them how to handle emotions in a healthy way.
For example, if a child throws a tantrum, a traditional response might be to send them to their room. But with emotional coaching, the parent might get down to the child’s level and say, “I can see you're really upset. Can we talk about it?” This kind of response helps the child feel safe and understood. Over time, it teaches them to name their feelings and deal with them calmly.
Sonia’s book and coaching sessions walk parents through this process step by step. She shows you how to turn stressful moments into meaningful ones, and how to raise emotionally strong, confident kids—without yelling or power struggles.
Key Differences Between the Two Approaches
There’s a big difference between traditional parenting and emotion coaching. Let’s break it down clearly so you can see which one fits your values and goals.
Traditional parenting focuses on control and making sure children follow the rules. Emotion coaching focuses on understanding the child and guiding them through their emotions.
In traditional parenting, strong emotions are often seen as bad behavior. Crying, anger, or talking back might be punished quickly. But in emotional coaching, those same emotions are seen as a chance to connect and teach something deeper.
With traditional parenting, kids often feel like no one is really listening to them. They might stop sharing how they feel because they think it will get them in trouble. Emotion coaching does the opposite. It helps kids feel seen, heard, and safe to express themselves.
Traditional parenting usually relies on quick discipline to fix behavior. Emotion coaching takes a little more time, but it builds trust and helps kids learn how to handle tough feelings in the future.
Lastly, traditional parenting places the parent as the authority figure who gives orders. Emotion coaching still gives structure and guidance, but it’s done with empathy and conversation. The goal isn’t to “win” the moment—it’s to build a strong relationship that lasts.
If you’ve ever felt like there must be a better way to handle emotion moments with your child, emotion coaching might be what you’re looking for. Sonia’s book is filled with real examples, and tips to transform relationships, so get it.
What the Research Says
Science backs emotion coaching and the results are hard to ignore. Studies by Dr. John Gottman and other child development experts have shown that when parents respond with empathy, kids become better at managing their emotions. They also do better in school, have stronger friendships, and grow up with higher self-esteem.
One well-known study followed families who practiced emotion coaching over time. The children in those families were more confident and less likely to act out. They weren’t perfect, but they bounced back from stress more easily. That’s because they were learning emotional skills, not just rules.
Traditional parenting might get quick results in the moment, like quieting a child who’s upset. But emotion coaching builds something deeper. It helps children learn why they feel the way they do and how to cope. And the long-term impact is much stronger.
Sonia’s approach is built on this research. In her book, she explains to parents how to use proven techniques from the Gottman method in real life. Whether your child is dealing with anxiety, big emotions, or simply having trouble expressing themselves, this method gives you tools that actually work.
How to Start Using Emotion Coaching at Home
You don’t need to be a parenting expert to use emotional coaching. It starts with small, everyday choices. The next time your child gets upset, instead of saying “stop crying,” try saying, “I can see you're feeling sad. Want to talk about it?” Just that shift, naming the feeling and staying calm can make a huge difference.
The key is to stay present and not rush to fix everything. Let your child know their emotions are okay. Over time, this helps them feel safe and learn how to manage big feelings in a healthy way. If you’re not sure where to begin, you can discover how emotion coaching transforms relationships get my book Dropped in a Maze to learn more.
So… Which One Works Better?
Let’s be honest, parenting isn’t black and white. Some days you’re calm and connected. Other days, you’re just trying to make it to bedtime. And that’s okay. But if we look at what research shows, emotional coaching tends to build stronger bonds in the long run. It helps kids feel heard, safe, and more able to handle their own big feelings.
That doesn’t mean you need to be perfect. No one is. What matters is trying to connect more often than you correct. A little shift in how you respond can make a big difference. You’ve got this. And if you want extra support, you will discover how emotional coaching transforms relationships, get my book Dropped in a Maze to learn more.
Conclusion: Parenting with Heart, Not Just Rules
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and no one gets it perfect. But choosing emotional coaching over traditional parenting isn’t about doing things “right”—it’s about doing things with more heart. It’s about slowing down, listening more, and helping your child feel seen, safe, and understood.
Science backs it. Real parents are using it. And the results speak for themselves stronger connections, fewer power struggles, and kids who feel confident expressing their emotions.
If you’re ready to try a new way, Sonia’s book Dropped in a Maze will help you discover how emotional coaching transforms relationships.
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