Best Emotion Coach: Parents or Teachers
Table of Content
Intro
The Case for Parents: Coaching Starts at Home
The Case for Teachers: Coaching in Real-Time, Real-World Moments
Where They Overlap — and Why Both Matter
So… Who Plays the Bigger Role?
Conclusion
Best Emotion Coach: Parents or Teachers
Every adult who interacts with kids wants the same thing — to see them grow into emotionally strong, self-aware, and confident human beings. But when it comes to guiding children through big feelings and tough moments, a question often bubbles up: Who holds more influence — parents or teachers? This isn’t about assigning blame or claiming superiority. It’s about understanding the unique emotional coaching power each role carries — and how they complement each other more than we may think.
Emotion coaching, at its core, is the process of helping children recognize what they’re feeling, learn how to name it, and find healthy ways to manage it. Whether it’s a meltdown over a broken toy or the quiet anxiety before a school presentation, these moments are rich opportunities to teach emotional literacy. But who’s better positioned to seize them?
In this blogpost, we’ll explore both sides. You’ll see the advantages, the blind spots, and the real-life impact of emotional coaching from both home and classroom perspectives. And if you're wondering how to actually apply this in your daily life, whether you're a parent juggling dinner and bedtime or a teacher managing a full classroom my book Dropped by a Maze includes role-specific guides that walk you through exactly how to show up powerfully in your own context.
Let’s get started.
The Case for Parents: Coaching Starts at Home
Ever notice how children seem to mirror the moods of their parents?
That’s no accident. From the moment they’re born, kids are watching how we respond to life — and learning from it.
Parents are a child’s first emotional teacher. The home is where they first see what anger looks like, how sadness is handled, and what comfort sounds like after a tough day. And because home is where emotions show up most honestly — in the messy moments, the bedtime routines, the after-school meltdowns — it's also the place where emotional coaching can happen most naturally.
Simple moments, like sitting together at dinner or calming a tantrum in the hallway, are powerful coaching opportunities. You don’t need a perfect script — you just need to be present, and willing to guide.
But here’s the honest part: not all parents were taught how to regulate their own emotions, which makes this work even harder. That’s why the parent-specific section in my book includes coaching scripts and real-life examples that fit right into your day — no extra time or training required.
Because emotion coaching isn’t about being perfect. It’s about trying, showing up, and learning alongside your child.
The Case for Teachers
What better place to learn emotional skills than in the middle of real life?
That’s exactly what happens in classrooms every day. Teachers guide children through frustration, group work, exclusion, and even friendship conflicts — all in real time. The school setting mirrors the outside world: kids learn how to share, wait their turn, speak up, and stay calm when things get tough. It’s not just about lessons on the board. It’s about handling emotions in the moment — when someone cuts in line or when a game gets too competitive.
Many teachers also bring tools from their training in classroom management and Social-Emotional Learning (SEL). These help them set clear boundaries while modeling empathy and patience.
Of course, teachers are stretched thin. With large classes and tight schedules, it’s hard to give every child the one-on-one emotional support they may need. That’s why the teacher’s section in my book includes fast, actionable tools that fit into busy school days without adding pressure. Because even a 30-second response from a trusted adult can teach a child how to pause, name their feelings, and respond with care.
Where They Overlap — and Why Both Matter
It’s not about choosing who’s more important — it’s about how parents and teachers can work together.
Emotion coaching works best when kids get the same messages at home and at school. When a child hears “It’s okay to feel angry, let’s talk about it” from both their parent and their teacher, that message sticks. It becomes safe. It becomes normal.
What makes this even more powerful is that parents and teachers often see different sides of a child. A parent might notice anxiety at bedtime. A teacher might see frustration during group work. When those insights are shared, kids get better support — and that’s what they really need.
This is why my book includes simple communication templates to help parents and teachers check in with each other and share emotional insights without pressure or overwhelm.
Because when the home and school environments feel emotionally safe, kids don’t just survive, they thrive.
So… Who Plays the Bigger Role?
It’s tempting to pick a side, but the truth is, both parents and teachers play powerful roles — just in different ways. Parents leave a long-term emotional imprint. From birth, kids look to their parents for how to name and manage feelings. Even quiet moments at home can shape how a child learns to feel safe and seen.
Teachers, on the other hand, guide emotional skills in action. In a classroom, children learn how to manage frustration, work through conflict, and speak up for themselves — all with a teacher’s support in real time.
You might be wearing one of these hats. Or maybe both. Either way, take a moment to reflect:
What’s one small way you’ve helped a child understand their emotions recently?
What’s one area you’d like to grow in?
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or both, my book offers role-specific tools to help you understand your emotional coaching strengths and work through the areas that feel tougher.
Conclusion: Emotion Coaching Is a Shared Journey
Emotional coaching isn’t about saying the perfect thing. It’s about showing up with kindness, listening with patience, and creating space for big feelings.
You don’t have to do everything at once. You can start with one deep breath, one curious question, or one calm response — that’s where growth begins.
If this topic spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you:
Are you a parent or teacher? What’s one emotion coaching moment that stood out for you this week?
And if you want help navigating this journey, my book has step-by-step tools tailored to your role — so you’re never guessing your way through emotional coaching.
Ready to take the next step? Order your copy today.
FAQ
Who has the bigger impact on a child’s emotional development?
It’s not about who’s bigger, it’s about how their influence shows up. Parents often shape deep emotional beliefs. Teachers help kids apply those skills in everyday life.
Is one role more important than the other?
They’re complementary, not competitive. Emotion coaching is strongest when parents and teachers work together, reinforcing the same language and emotional safety.
What age group does emotional coaching work best for?
It works at any age. Toddlers, tweens, or teens, though the approach shifts as kids grow. My book breaks down what works best for different ages and settings.
Where can I get more support or tools?
My book includes role-specific guides for parents and teachers, plus ready-to-use activities, scripts, and coaching prompts. You can order your copy today or explore coaching options.
What’s the biggest mistake people make in emotional coaching?
Trying to “fix” or rush emotions instead of making space for them. Kids don’t need perfection, they need presence. The book shows you how to slow down and connect first.
Emotion Coaching in Schools: How Teachers Can Support Students’ Mental Health
Table of Contents
Intro
Why Emotion Coaching Matters in Schools
The Five Steps of Emotion Coaching for Teachers
Be aware of the student’s emotions
Recognize emotions as an opportunity for connection and teaching
Listen empathetically and validate the student’s feelings
Help the student label their emotions
Set limits while helping the student problem-solve
Practical Strategies for Teachers to Implement Emotion Coaching
Benefits of Emotion Coaching in Schools
Stronger student-teacher relationships
Improved classroom behavior and fewer disruptions
Better academic performance
Higher emotional intelligence and life skills
The Role of School Leadership and Parents
School leaders set the tone
Parents as partners
Creating a team effort
Conclusion
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
5 Ways Teachers Can Help Student With Emotion Coaching
More and more students today are struggling with their mental health. Some feel anxious, overwhelmed, lonely, or stressed—both inside and outside the classroom. As these challenges grow, schools are becoming one of the most important places for emotional support.
This is why emotional coaching in schools is becoming a powerful tool. While teachers are not therapists, they spend a lot of time with students and can play a big role in helping them manage their emotions. Emotional coaching in schools gives teachers the tools to help students feel heard, understood, and supported.
This article will explore what emotion coaching in schools really means, why it’s important, and how teachers can use it to support students’ emotional well-being.
Why Emotion Coaching Matters in Schools
Students face a lot of emotional challenges every day. They might feel worried about grades, struggle with friendships, or deal with tough situations at home. If no one helps them handle these emotions, it can affect how they behave, learn, and connect with others.
Originally popularized by Dr. John Gottman in the context of parenting, emotion coaching is a proven approach that helps children recognize, understand, and regulate their emotions. That’s why emotional coaching in schools is so important. It gives teachers a way to support students emotionally, not just academically. When students feel safe and understood, they’re more likely to stay focused in class, be kind to others, and succeed in school.
Emotion coaching in schools also helps build strong student-teacher relationships. When a teacher listens, shows empathy, and teaches emotional skills, students feel more connected and confident.
The Five Steps of Emotion Coaching for Teachers
Research shows that emotional well-being is directly tied to academic performance, behavior, and social development. Just like parents, teachers can play a powerful role in helping children build emotional intelligence through something called emotional coaching.
Dr. John Gottman introduced a five-step process that teachers can adapt to their classrooms. When followed consistently, these steps help students feel seen, supported, and guided through their emotions in a healthy and respectful manner.
Be aware of the student’s emotions
Teachers must learn to notice emotional cues—whether it’s a frown, silence, irritability, or sudden outbursts. Emotional coaching in schools begins with tuning into these small signs, even when students don't speak up. Awareness allows teachers to step in early and prevent escalation.
Recognize emotions as an opportunity for connection and teaching
Instead of brushing emotions aside or punishing students for "bad behavior," emotional coaching encourages teachers to see emotional moments as teachable ones. If a child is upset, it’s not a distraction—it’s a chance to build trust and show that emotions are valid and manageable.
Listen empathetically and validate the student’s feelings
Validation means letting the student know their feelings matter, even if their actions need correction. For example, saying, “I can see you’re really upset about what happened at recess. That makes sense,” helps students feel understood. In emotional coaching in schools, this step builds emotional safety.
Help the student label their emotions
Children often struggle to name what they’re feeling. Teachers can gently offer words: “You seem frustrated” or “Are you feeling left out?” This helps students develop emotional vocabulary, which is a critical part of emotional intelligence.
Set limits while helping the student problem-solve
Empathy doesn’t mean anything goes. Teachers can set clear boundaries while helping students think through better ways to handle the situation next time. For instance, “It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s not okay to throw things. What else could you do when you feel that way?”
Practical Strategies for Teachers to Implement Emotion Coaching
Many teachers love the idea of emotional coaching in schools but worry it will be too time-consuming or hard to fit into a packed school day. The good news? It doesn’t require a major change—it just takes consistency and intentionality.
Start the day with emotional check-ins
A simple five-minute check-in allows students to express how they’re feeling. Teachers can use mood meters, emoji cards, or simple questions like “What color is your day?” This regular habit helps students become more self-aware and signals that their feelings matter.
Create a ‘calm corner’ or emotional regulation station
Designate a space in the classroom where students can go when they feel overwhelmed. Fill it with tools like stress balls, coloring sheets, or breathing exercises. This supports emotion coaching in schools by giving students a safe, self-guided way to calm down.
Model emotional intelligence
Students learn more from what teachers do than what they say. When teachers handle stress calmly, admit when they’re feeling frustrated, and show how they cope, students learn by example. Emotion coaching in schools works best when adults practice what they teach.
Use stories and classroom discussions to talk about emotions
Books, journal prompts, or group activities can be used to explore emotions and discuss how characters handle challenges. This makes emotional learning a natural part of classroom life.
Collaborate with school counselors or mental health staff
Teachers don’t have to do this alone. Partnering with counselors can provide students with deeper support and help teachers strengthen their own emotional coaching skills. Bringing in outside training or workshops can also deepen the school’s approach.
Benefits of Emotion Coaching in Schools
Emotion coaching in schools offers benefits that go far beyond handling emotional outbursts. When students feel emotionally supported, their overall school experience improves—academically, socially, and personally.
Stronger student-teacher relationships
When teachers take time to understand students' feelings, it builds trust. Students are more likely to engage in learning and open up when they feel respected and emotionally safe. Emotion coaching in schools creates a connection that goes beyond the curriculum.
Improved classroom behavior and fewer disruptions
Students who are taught to recognize and manage their emotions are less likely to act out. Instead of bottling up anger or frustration, they learn to express themselves in healthier ways. This creates a calmer, more focused classroom for everyone.
Better academic performance
When students feel emotionally balanced, they can focus better on their studies. Emotional stress is a major barrier to learning, and emotional coaching helps reduce that stress. Students become more resilient, which helps them stick with difficult tasks and bounce back from setbacks.
Higher emotional intelligence and life skills
Perhaps the biggest long-term benefit of emotional coaching in schools is that it prepares students for life. They learn how to handle disappointment, resolve conflicts, and express themselves clearly—skills that are essential both in and out of school.
The Role of School Leadership and Parents
Emotion coaching in schools doesn’t fall only on teachers. For it to truly work, school leaders and parents must play their part too.
School leaders set the tone
When principals and administrators make emotion coaching a priority, it becomes part of the school culture. This means giving teachers time, training, and space to focus on student well-being. Emotional coaching in schools works best when leaders lead with care.
Parents as partners
Parents also need to understand emotion coaching. When they use similar language at home, it helps students stay consistent. Emotional coaching in schools should be talked about during meetings, newsletters, and open houses.
Creating a team effort
Students thrive when they see that teachers, parents, and school leaders are all on the same page. Emotion coaching in schools should feel like a group effort, not just a classroom activity.
A book like Dropped in a Maze can be a bridge between school and home—it shows how emotional struggles play out and gives adults a clearer view of what students might be feeling but unable to say.
Conclusion
Emotionl coaching in schools is a way to build strong, caring school communities. When teachers understand how to support emotions, they help students feel safe, seen, and capable. Also, providing them with the right resources makes this easier.
In conclusion, emotional coaching in schools is an important way for teachers to help support students' mental health.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What if a student doesn’t want to talk about their feelings?
That’s okay. Emotion coaching in schools is not about forcing students to talk. It’s about creating a space where they can talk when they’re ready.
Where can I learn more about emotional coaching?
You can start by reading Dropped in a Maze or book a training session.
What role does emotion coaching play in reducing bullying?
When students learn to recognize and manage their own emotions, they are more likely to be compassionate toward others. Teaching students to identify their feelings and understand how others feel can promote kindness and discourage bullying behavior.
Can emotion coaching in schools help with academic success?
Yes! Students who are emotionally supported and taught to manage their emotions tend to perform better academically.
How do I introduce emotion coaching into my classroom?
Start small. Begin by checking in with students at the start or end of the day to ask how they are feeling.
Can emotion coaching be used in high school classrooms?
Absolutely. Teenagers face unique challenges like peer pressure, stress about the future, and developing self-identity. Emotional coaching in high school classrooms can help them navigate these challenges with healthier coping strategies and better emotional awareness.
How can I measure the success of emotional coaching in my classroom?
While emotional growth may take time, you can measure success through student engagement, fewer behavioral issues, and positive feedback from students.
Sources: