Best Emotion Coach: Parents or Teachers

Table of Content

Intro

The Case for Parents: Coaching Starts at Home

The Case for Teachers: Coaching in Real-Time, Real-World Moments

Where They Overlap — and Why Both Matter

So… Who Plays the Bigger Role?

Conclusion

Best Emotion Coach: Parents or Teachers

Every adult who interacts with kids wants the same thing — to see them grow into emotionally strong, self-aware, and confident human beings. But when it comes to guiding children through big feelings and tough moments, a question often bubbles up: Who holds more influence — parents or teachers? This isn’t about assigning blame or claiming superiority. It’s about understanding the unique emotional coaching power each role carries — and how they complement each other more than we may think.

Emotion coaching, at its core, is the process of helping children recognize what they’re feeling, learn how to name it, and find healthy ways to manage it. Whether it’s a meltdown over a broken toy or the quiet anxiety before a school presentation, these moments are rich opportunities to teach emotional literacy. But who’s better positioned to seize them?

In this blogpost, we’ll explore both sides. You’ll see the advantages, the blind spots, and the real-life impact of emotional coaching from both home and classroom perspectives. And if you're wondering how to actually apply this in your daily life, whether you're a parent juggling dinner and bedtime or a teacher managing a full classroom my book Dropped by a Maze includes role-specific guides that walk you through exactly how to show up powerfully in your own context.

Let’s get started.

The Case for Parents: Coaching Starts at Home

Ever notice how children seem to mirror the moods of their parents?

That’s no accident. From the moment they’re born, kids are watching how we respond to life — and learning from it.

Parents are a child’s first emotional teacher. The home is where they first see what anger looks like, how sadness is handled, and what comfort sounds like after a tough day. And because home is where emotions show up most honestly — in the messy moments, the bedtime routines, the after-school meltdowns — it's also the place where emotional coaching can happen most naturally.

Simple moments, like sitting together at dinner or calming a tantrum in the hallway, are powerful coaching opportunities. You don’t need a perfect script — you just need to be present, and willing to guide.

But here’s the honest part: not all parents were taught how to regulate their own emotions, which makes this work even harder. That’s why the parent-specific section in my book includes coaching scripts and real-life examples that fit right into your day — no extra time or training required.

Because emotion coaching isn’t about being perfect. It’s about trying, showing up, and learning alongside your child.

The Case for Teachers

What better place to learn emotional skills than in the middle of real life?

That’s exactly what happens in classrooms every day. Teachers guide children through frustration, group work, exclusion, and even friendship conflicts — all in real time. The school setting mirrors the outside world: kids learn how to share, wait their turn, speak up, and stay calm when things get tough. It’s not just about lessons on the board. It’s about handling emotions in the moment — when someone cuts in line or when a game gets too competitive.

Many teachers also bring tools from their training in classroom management and Social-Emotional Learning (SEL). These help them set clear boundaries while modeling empathy and patience.

Of course, teachers are stretched thin. With large classes and tight schedules, it’s hard to give every child the one-on-one emotional support they may need. That’s why the teacher’s section in my book includes fast, actionable tools that fit into busy school days without adding pressure. Because even a 30-second response from a trusted adult can teach a child how to pause, name their feelings, and respond with care.

Where They Overlap — and Why Both Matter

It’s not about choosing who’s more important — it’s about how parents and teachers can work together.

Emotion coaching works best when kids get the same messages at home and at school. When a child hears “It’s okay to feel angry, let’s talk about it” from both their parent and their teacher, that message sticks. It becomes safe. It becomes normal.

What makes this even more powerful is that parents and teachers often see different sides of a child. A parent might notice anxiety at bedtime. A teacher might see frustration during group work. When those insights are shared, kids get better support — and that’s what they really need.

This is why my book includes simple communication templates to help parents and teachers check in with each other and share emotional insights without pressure or overwhelm.

Because when the home and school environments feel emotionally safe, kids don’t just survive, they thrive.

So… Who Plays the Bigger Role?

It’s tempting to pick a side, but the truth is, both parents and teachers play powerful roles — just in different ways. Parents leave a long-term emotional imprint. From birth, kids look to their parents for how to name and manage feelings. Even quiet moments at home can shape how a child learns to feel safe and seen.

Teachers, on the other hand, guide emotional skills in action. In a classroom, children learn how to manage frustration, work through conflict, and speak up for themselves — all with a teacher’s support in real time.

You might be wearing one of these hats. Or maybe both. Either way, take a moment to reflect:

What’s one small way you’ve helped a child understand their emotions recently?

What’s one area you’d like to grow in?

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or both, my book offers role-specific tools to help you understand your emotional coaching strengths and work through the areas that feel tougher.

Conclusion: Emotion Coaching Is a Shared Journey

Emotional coaching isn’t about saying the perfect thing. It’s about showing up with kindness, listening with patience, and creating space for big feelings.

You don’t have to do everything at once. You can start with one deep breath, one curious question, or one calm response — that’s where growth begins.

If this topic spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you:

Are you a parent or teacher? What’s one emotion coaching moment that stood out for you this week?

And if you want help navigating this journey, my book has step-by-step tools tailored to your role — so you’re never guessing your way through emotional coaching.

Ready to take the next step? Order your copy today.

FAQ

Who has the bigger impact on a child’s emotional development?

It’s not about who’s bigger, it’s about how their influence shows up. Parents often shape deep emotional beliefs. Teachers help kids apply those skills in everyday life.

Is one role more important than the other?

They’re complementary, not competitive. Emotion coaching is strongest when parents and teachers work together, reinforcing the same language and emotional safety.

What age group does emotional coaching work best for?

It works at any age. Toddlers, tweens, or teens, though the approach shifts as kids grow. My book breaks down what works best for different ages and settings.

Where can I get more support or tools?

My book includes role-specific guides for parents and teachers, plus ready-to-use activities, scripts, and coaching prompts. You can order your copy today or explore coaching options.

What’s the biggest mistake people make in emotional coaching?

Trying to “fix” or rush emotions instead of making space for them. Kids don’t need perfection, they need presence. The book shows you how to slow down and connect first.

5 Effective Emotion Coaching Techniques Most Parents Overlook

Table of content

Intro 

• Mirror Their Mood (Without Mocking It)

• Name the Feeling Before the Fix

• Create a “Calm Corner” (Not a Time-Out Spot)

• Share Your Own Feelings (In Simple Terms)

• Use "Emotion Check-ins" During Calm Times

Takeaway

5 Effective Emotion Coaching Techniques Most Parents Overlook

Most parents have heard about emotional coaching. It's all about helping kids understand and manage their feelings, rather than just correcting their behavior. But while the basics are widely shared, there are emotional coaching techniques that many parents still overlook—techniques that can make a big difference in everyday moments.

If you're tired of yelling, guessing what your child needs, or feeling stuck when emotions run high, you're not alone. These lesser-known methods can build deeper trust, improve communication, and actually make parenting feel a bit easier.

Let’s check them out together

Mirror Their Mood (Without Mocking It)

mirror their mood

One of the most overlooked emotion coaching techniques is mood mirroring. This doesn’t mean copying your child’s meltdown or turning it into a joke. It means matching the emotional tone in a calm and controlled way to show you're present with them.

For example, if your child is crying because their toy broke, instead of saying “It’s just a toy, stop crying,” you can sit next to them and say, “That was your favorite toy. I get why you're upset.” You’re not making the situation bigger, but you’re also not brushing it off. This builds trust and helps your child feel understood—which is the foundation of emotional regulation.

This is one of the key ideas covered in Chapter 3 of my book, where I share more tools for creating calmer moments with kids.

Name the Feeling Before the Fix

Most parents jump straight into problem-solving. While that can seem helpful, it often skips a key emotion coaching technique—naming the feeling first.

 Let’s say your child storms in after school and slams their bag down. Instead of jumping in with “What happened?” or “Calm down,” pause and say something like, “You seem frustrated. Want to talk about it?” When you name the emotion, it helps your child feel seen and teaches them to recognize feelings in themselves. After that moment of connection, then you can work together on what to do next.

Create a “Calm Corner” (Not a Time-Out Spot)

Cozy “Calm Corner” designed for children

One of the most effective emotion coaching techniques that often gets missed is creating a safe space—not for punishment, but for calming down. A calm corner is a cozy spot where your child can go when they feel overwhelmed. It’s not a place to send them away when they’ve done something wrong, but a tool to help them reset emotionally.

You can include things like soft pillows, a stress ball, books about feelings, or even headphones with calming music. When your child starts to get upset, you can gently say, “Want to take a minute in your calm corner?” Over time, they’ll start using it on their own, which builds emotional independence and regulation skills without shame or pressure. This and more of these unconventional strategies is what I shared in my book. You can check out Chapter 3 in my book.

Share Your Own Feelings (In Simple Terms)

A lot of parents think they have to stay completely calm and emotionless all the time. But one powerful emotion coaching technique is showing your own feelings—in a healthy, age-appropriate way. Kids learn how to deal with emotions by watching how we handle ours.

Instead of pretending you’re fine when you’re clearly frustrated, you could say, “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.” This models emotional honesty. It tells your child that emotions are normal and that there are ways to handle them without yelling or shutting down. When kids see you name and manage your feelings, they feel more comfortable doing the same.

Use "Emotion Check-ins" During Calm Times

Most of a child’s emotional growth doesn’t happen during tantrums or outbursts — it happens in the quiet, everyday moments.

When your child is calm, their brain is more open to learning. This is when emotion check-ins can do the most good.

A simple question like:

• “What was the best and hardest part of your day?”

• “Is there anything you didn’t get to say today?”

These check-ins help your child learn how to name what they’re feeling. Over time, that builds emotion vocabulary and confidence.

You don’t need to schedule them like lessons. Instead, slip them into your normal routines:

• At the dinner table

• During bedtime tuck-ins

• While riding in the car or walking together

Start small. If they give short answers or say “I don’t know,” that’s okay. What matters is that you’re asking, listening, and making feelings feel safe to talk about.

The goal isn’t to “fix” their feelings, it’s to make room for them.

Frequently Asked Questions

At what age should I start emotion coaching my child?

You can start emotion coaching as early as toddlerhood around age 2 or 3 when your child begins expressing emotions more clearly. However, it’s never too late to start, even with teens.

Do I need special training to use emotion coaching at home?

No formal training is required to start. However, reading trusted resources or joining a coaching program, can make it easier and more effective.

What if my child doesn’t respond well to emotion coaching?

That’s normal at first. It takes time for kids to adjust, especially if they’re not used to being guided through emotions. Stay consistent, stay calm, and be patient. Over time, they will learn to trust the process.

Can emotion coaching be used with children who have special needs or are neurodivergent?

Yes. Emotion coaching is especially helpful for children with autism, ADHD, or sensory differences. It creates a safe space for expression and helps build emotional skills at their own pace.

How is emotion coaching different from just “being gentle”?

Gentle parenting focuses on kindness and connection, but emotion coaching adds specific steps, like labeling feelings and problem-solving that help children build emotional intelligence.

Takeaway

You don’t need a psychology degree to help your child grow emotionally. You just need small tools, used consistently, with love.

That’s what emotional coaching is about, creating small moments of connection that add up to big change over time.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone. If you want more unconventional strategies, check out Chapter 3 in my book. It’s full of tools that have worked for real families, not just textbook examples.

Emotion Coaching or Traditional Parenting? What Works Best

Table of Content: Emotion Coaching vs. Traditional Parenting: Which Approach Works Better? (Backed by Science)

Intro

What is Traditional Parenting

What is Emotion Coaching

Key Differences Between the Two Approaches

What the Research Says

How to Start Using Emotion Coaching at Home

So… Which One Works Better?

Conclusion: Parenting with Heart, Not Just Rules

Emotion Coaching or Traditional Parenting? What Works Best

Parenting is is tough. 

Most of us are just trying to do better than what we had growing up. But sometimes, we find ourselves sounding like our parents, saying things like “Because I said so!” or “Stop crying!” More and more parents today are asking a different question. Is there a better way to handle emotions and tough moments with kids?

That’s where emotional coaching comes in. It’s a method backed by science that helps you connect with your child instead of just correcting their behavior. It doesn’t mean letting your child do whatever they want. It means helping them understand what they’re feeling so they can grow up emotionally strong.

In this blogpost, we’ll compare traditional parenting with emotion coaching, look at the science behind it, and share simple ways to try it at home.

What is Traditional Parenting

Traditional parenting is how many of us were raised. It’s the way where adults expect children to listen, obey, and stay in line.

In this style, the main focus is on discipline and control. If a child misbehaves or shows big emotions like anger or sadness, the response is often to stop it quickly.

For example, “Go to your room.”

Or “You’re being dramatic.”

Or “I don’t want to hear it.”

 The problem with this is that it teaches kids to hide their emotions instead of understanding them. They might follow the rules, but they don’t always feel safe or supported.

Traditional parenting isn’t all bad. But it can leave children feeling alone when they need help the most.

What is Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching is a way of parenting that helps children understand and manage their feelings. Instead of reacting with punishment or ignoring how a child feels, parents take time to connect. It’s not about letting children do whatever they want. It’s about teaching them how to handle emotions in a healthy way.

For example, if a child throws a tantrum, a traditional response might be to send them to their room. But with emotional coaching, the parent might get down to the child’s level and say, “I can see you're really upset. Can we talk about it?” This kind of response helps the child feel safe and understood. Over time, it teaches them to name their feelings and deal with them calmly.

Sonia’s book and coaching sessions walk parents through this process step by step. She shows you how to turn stressful moments into meaningful ones, and how to raise emotionally strong, confident kids—without yelling or power struggles.

Key Differences Between the Two Approaches

There’s a big difference between traditional parenting and emotion coaching. Let’s break it down clearly so you can see which one fits your values and goals.

Traditional parenting focuses on control and making sure children follow the rules. Emotion coaching focuses on understanding the child and guiding them through their emotions.

In traditional parenting, strong emotions are often seen as bad behavior. Crying, anger, or talking back might be punished quickly. But in emotional coaching, those same emotions are seen as a chance to connect and teach something deeper.

With traditional parenting, kids often feel like no one is really listening to them. They might stop sharing how they feel because they think it will get them in trouble. Emotion coaching does the opposite. It helps kids feel seen, heard, and safe to express themselves.

Traditional parenting usually relies on quick discipline to fix behavior. Emotion coaching takes a little more time, but it builds trust and helps kids learn how to handle tough feelings in the future.

Lastly, traditional parenting places the parent as the authority figure who gives orders. Emotion coaching still gives structure and guidance, but it’s done with empathy and conversation. The goal isn’t to “win” the moment—it’s to build a strong relationship that lasts.

If you’ve ever felt like there must be a better way to handle emotion moments with your child, emotion coaching might be what you’re looking for. Sonia’s book is filled with real examples, and tips to transform relationships, so get it.

What the Research Says

Science backs emotion coaching and the results are hard to ignore. Studies by Dr. John Gottman and other child development experts have shown that when parents respond with empathy, kids become better at managing their emotions. They also do better in school, have stronger friendships, and grow up with higher self-esteem.

One well-known study followed families who practiced emotion coaching over time. The children in those families were more confident and less likely to act out. They weren’t perfect, but they bounced back from stress more easily. That’s because they were learning emotional skills, not just rules.

Traditional parenting might get quick results in the moment, like quieting a child who’s upset. But emotion coaching builds something deeper. It helps children learn why they feel the way they do and how to cope. And the long-term impact is much stronger.

Sonia’s approach is built on this research. In her book, she explains to parents how to use proven techniques from the Gottman method in real life. Whether your child is dealing with anxiety, big emotions, or simply having trouble expressing themselves, this method gives you tools that actually work.

How to Start Using Emotion Coaching at Home

You don’t need to be a parenting expert to use emotional coaching. It starts with small, everyday choices. The next time your child gets upset, instead of saying “stop crying,” try saying, “I can see you're feeling sad. Want to talk about it?” Just that shift, naming the feeling and staying calm can make a huge difference.

The key is to stay present and not rush to fix everything. Let your child know their emotions are okay. Over time, this helps them feel safe and learn how to manage big feelings in a healthy way. If you’re not sure where to begin, you can discover how emotion coaching transforms relationships get my book Dropped in a Maze to learn more.

So… Which One Works Better?

Let’s be honest, parenting isn’t black and white. Some days you’re calm and connected. Other days, you’re just trying to make it to bedtime. And that’s okay. But if we look at what research shows, emotional coaching tends to build stronger bonds in the long run. It helps kids feel heard, safe, and more able to handle their own big feelings.

That doesn’t mean you need to be perfect. No one is. What matters is trying to connect more often than you correct. A little shift in how you respond can make a big difference. You’ve got this. And if you want extra support, you will discover how emotional coaching transforms relationships, get my book Dropped in a Maze to learn more.

Conclusion: Parenting with Heart, Not Just Rules

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and no one gets it perfect. But choosing emotional coaching over traditional parenting isn’t about doing things “right”—it’s about doing things with more heart. It’s about slowing down, listening more, and helping your child feel seen, safe, and understood.

Science backs it. Real parents are using it. And the results speak for themselves stronger connections, fewer power struggles, and kids who feel confident expressing their emotions.

If you’re ready to try a new way, Sonia’s book Dropped in a Maze will help you discover how emotional coaching transforms relationships.