How to Deal with Autism (And Why Understanding It Changes Everything)
Table of Contents
Intro
What Autism Really Is (and Isn't)
Early Signs and Missed Signs
What "Dealing with Autism" Actually Means
Emotional Impact and Mental Health
Relationships, Work, and Daily Life
The Power of Knowing
For Friends, Family, and Partners
You're Not Alone
Conclusion
How to Deal with Autism (And Why Understanding It Changes Everything)
You've probably heard the word "autism" thrown around a lot lately. Maybe you're wondering if you might be autistic yourself. Or maybe someone you love is on the spectrum, and you're trying to figure out how to help. Either way, you're not alone in feeling confused about what autism really means and how to deal with it.
Here's the thing: dealing with autism isn't about fixing yourself or changing who you are. It's about understanding yourself better. It's about learning why certain things feel overwhelming, why you need routines, or why social situations drain your energy. It's about finally having answers to questions you've been asking your whole life.
Sonia Krishna Chand knows this journey well. She spent years feeling different, struggling to fit in, and wondering why everyday things felt so hard for her. It wasn't until she was an adult that she discovered she was autistic. Her book, "Dropped in a Maze: My Life on the Spectrum," tells her story of finally understanding herself and learning to thrive with autism.
The purpose of this blog is simple: to help you better deal with autism, whether it's your own experience or someone you care about. We'll talk about what autism really is, how to recognize the signs, and most importantly, how understanding changes everything.
What Autism Really Is (and Isn't)
Let's start with the basics. Autism is a neurological difference that affects how people communicate, process sensory information, and interact with the world around them. Think of it like having a different operating system in your brain. It's not broken or wrong – it's just different from what most people consider "typical."
The key word here is "spectrum." Autism affects everyone differently. Some autistic people need a lot of support with daily tasks. Others live independently, have careers, and families. Some are very verbal and chatty. Others prefer to communicate in different ways. There's no single "type" of autistic person.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths floating around about autism. People often think all autistic individuals are like characters they've seen in movies – maybe someone who's really good at math but can't make eye contact or hold a conversation. The reality is much more complex and varied.
One of the biggest misconceptions is about how autism shows up in women and girls. For decades, autism research focused mainly on boys and men. This means many women grew up feeling different but never got the answers they needed. They learned to "mask" or hide their autistic traits so well that even they didn't realize they were autistic.
Sonia was one of these women. She spent years wondering why she felt so exhausted after social events, why certain sounds bothered her so much, or why she needed strict routines to feel okay. It wasn't until much later that she connected these experiences to autism.
Want to understand how autism feels from the inside? "Dropped in a Maze" shares Sonia's personal journey in a raw and honest way that might help you see your own experiences more clearly.
Early Signs and Missed Signs
Many people, especially women, don't realize they're autistic until they're adults. This happens because autism can look different than what people expect, and because many autistic people become really good at hiding their struggles.
Here are some signs that often get missed:
Feeling overwhelmed in social settings: Maybe you love people, but parties or networking events leave you completely drained. You might need days to recover from what others consider fun social activities.
Struggling with unspoken social rules: You might find yourself constantly analyzing conversations, trying to figure out what people "really" mean. Small talk feels like a foreign language, and you never quite know when it's your turn to speak.
Needing routines and predictability: Changes in plans might throw off your entire day. You might have specific ways of doing things that help you feel calm and organized.
Sensory sensitivities: Certain textures, sounds, or lights might bother you way more than they seem to bother other people. You might hate the feeling of certain fabrics or need to leave restaurants because they're too loud.
Intense interests: You might dive deep into topics that fascinate you, learning everything you can about them. Others might think you're "obsessed," but these interests bring you joy and comfort.
Perfectionism and people-pleasing: Many autistic women become experts at reading other people's emotions and trying to make everyone happy. This can be exhausting and lead to losing touch with your own needs.
Sonia missed these signs for years. Looking back, she can see how autism affected her childhood, her relationships, and her career. But at the time, she just thought she was more sensitive than other people or that she needed to try harder to fit in.
What "Dealing with Autism" Actually Means
When people talk about "dealing with autism," they often mean trying to make autistic people act more "normal." But that's not what we're talking about here. Real autism support isn't about changing who you are – it's about learning how to live comfortably in a world that isn't always autism-friendly.
Learning your triggers is a big part of this. Maybe crowded spaces overwhelm you, or certain sounds make you feel anxious. Once you know what affects you, you can plan around it. This might mean wearing noise-canceling headphones in busy places or choosing restaurants that aren't too loud.
Building routines that work for you can make a huge difference. Many autistic people find that having predictable daily routines helps them feel more grounded and less anxious. This doesn't mean your life has to be boring – it just means creating structure in areas where you need it.
Letting go of masking is often one of the hardest but most important steps. Masking means hiding your autistic traits to fit in better. While sometimes we need to adapt to social situations, constant masking is exhausting and can lead to burnout. Learning when you can be more authentic and when you need to adapt is a crucial skill.
Advocating for your needs becomes easier once you understand them. This might mean asking for accommodations at work, explaining to friends why you need to leave social events early, or requesting written instructions instead of verbal ones.
After Sonia's diagnosis, she made significant changes to her life. She adjusted her work schedule to have more downtime, created a sensory-friendly space in her home, and started being more honest with friends and family about her needs. These weren't dramatic life overhauls – they were small adjustments that made a big difference in how she felt day to day.
Emotional Impact and Mental Health
Getting an autism diagnosis, especially as an adult, can bring up a lot of complex emotions. Many people feel relieved to finally have answers, but they might also feel sad about the years they spent struggling without understanding why.
Undiagnosed autism often leads to mental health challenges: When you're constantly trying to fit into a world that doesn't quite make sense to you, it's common to develop anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. You might blame yourself for things that were never your fault in the first place.
There's often a grieving process that comes with late diagnosis. You might grieve for the child who felt different and didn't know why. You might feel angry about all the times people told you to "just try harder" or "be more social." You might wonder how your life would have been different if you'd known sooner.
But alongside the grief often comes incredible relief. Finally, your experiences make sense. You're not broken or weird – you're autistic, and that's a valid way to be human.
For Sonia, writing became a crucial part of processing her diagnosis. Journaling helped her work through her emotions, and eventually writing her book became a way to share her story with others who might be going through something similar.
"Dropped in a Maze" doesn't shy away from the emotional complexity of late autism diagnosis. Sonia honestly explores both the challenges and the gifts that come with understanding yourself as autistic. Her story shows that while the journey isn't always easy, it can lead to greater self-acceptance and a more authentic life.
Relationships, Work, and Daily Life
Autism affects every area of life, including relationships and work. Understanding your autism can help you navigate these areas more successfully. In friendships, you might struggle with maintaining connections or understanding social expectations. You might prefer deep, meaningful conversations over small talk, or you might need more space between social interactions than your friends do. This doesn't mean you're antisocial – you just have different social needs.
In romantic relationships, communication differences can create challenges. You might be very direct in your communication style, while your partner expects more subtle cues. You might need more alone time to recharge, which your partner could misinterpret as rejection.
At work, sensory sensitivities might make open offices challenging, or you might struggle with unclear instructions and frequent changes in priorities. On the flip side, many autistic people excel in jobs that match their strengths, like attention to detail, deep focus, and systematic thinking.
Here are some simple strategies that can help:
Be honest about your needs: This doesn't mean you have to disclose your autism to everyone, but being clear about what you need to do your best work or maintain good relationships is important.
Set clear boundaries: It's okay to say no to social events when you need downtime, or to ask for written instructions at work instead of verbal ones.
Find environments that suit your strengths: Look for work that allows you to use your natural abilities, whether that's deep focus, creative thinking, or systematic problem-solving.
After her diagnosis, Sonia made changes in how she approached her work as a therapist. She created a more sensory-friendly office space and adjusted her schedule to include more breaks between clients. These changes helped her provide better care for her patients while taking care of her own needs.
The Power of Knowing
Here's what many people don't realize: getting an autism diagnosis doesn't change who you are. You were autistic before the diagnosis, and you're autistic after. What changes is your understanding of yourself.
This understanding can be incredibly powerful. Suddenly, things that never made sense about yourself start to click into place. You realize that your need for routine isn't being "rigid" – it's how your brain works best. Your sensitivity to sounds isn't being "dramatic" – it's a real neurological difference.
This knowledge leads to better decisions about how you live your life. Instead of forcing yourself into situations that drain you, you can choose environments and activities that energize you. Instead of criticizing yourself for being different, you can appreciate your unique strengths and perspectives.
Many people describe the period after diagnosis as finally being able to meet themselves for the first time. As Sonia writes in her book: "Getting my diagnosis didn't change me – it helped me understand who I'd always been."
The relief that comes with this understanding can't be overstated. Years of feeling like you're not quite right, not quite enough, or not quite normal suddenly make sense. You weren't failing at being neurotypical – you were succeeding at being autistic.
If you're on this path of discovery or just starting to ask questions about yourself, Sonia's book might help you see your own experiences more clearly. Her honest exploration of what it means to discover autism in adulthood could provide the validation and understanding you're looking for.
For Friends, Family, and Partners
If you're reading this because someone you care about is autistic, here's what you need to know: your support can make a huge difference in their life.
Don't judge their need for space, quiet time, or routines: What might seem like quirks or preferences to you are often essential for their well-being. Respect these needs instead of trying to talk them out of them.
Be patient with communication differences: Your autistic loved one might be very direct in how they speak, or they might need extra time to process what you've said. This isn't rudeness – it's just a different communication style.
Ask questions and listen to the answers: Instead of making assumptions about what they need or feel, ask them directly. Autistic people are often the best experts on their own experiences.
Learn about autism from autistic voices: Reading books like "Dropped in a Maze" can help you understand what autism feels like from the inside, which will make you a better supporter and advocate.
Remember, autism isn't something that happens to families – it's a natural part of human diversity. When families learn to understand and support their autistic members, everyone benefits from the increased empathy, communication, and acceptance.
You're Not Alone
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in these descriptions, know that you're not alone. Thousands of people, especially women, are discovering their autism in adulthood. There's nothing wrong with not knowing sooner – autism in women has been overlooked for decades.
It's okay to be different. It's okay to need routines, quiet spaces, and time to recharge. It's okay to think differently, communicate differently, and experience the world differently. These aren't flaws to be fixed – they're part of who you are.
Be gentle with yourself as you learn. Whether you're just starting to wonder if you might be autistic or you've recently received a diagnosis, this journey of self-discovery takes time. There's no rush to figure everything out at once.
Stay curious about yourself. Notice what makes you feel calm versus overwhelmed. Pay attention to what energizes you and what drains you. The more you understand about how your brain works, the better you can take care of yourself.
Conclusion
If Sonia's story resonates with you, "Dropped in a Maze: My Life on the Spectrum" offers a much deeper look into the experience of discovering autism as an adult woman. This isn't just a book about autism – it's a story about identity, healing, and the courage to live authentically.
Whether you're exploring your own possible autism, supporting someone who is autistic, or simply want to understand this often-misunderstood neurological difference, "Dropped in a Maze" provides the authentic, insider perspective that can change how you see autism forever.
You can find "Dropped in a Maze" wherever books are sold. Your journey of understanding starts with a single step – and Sonia's story might just be the guide you've been looking for.
